Blood Red Road
Page 40DeMalo. Dark eyes, almost black, meet mine.
Lookin deep inside of me. Findin my darkest thoughts, my worst fears.
He sounds too good to be true, says Jack.
His voice seems to come from a long ways away.
What’d you say? I says.
I said … that Lugh sounds too good to be true.
You got no right to say that. You don’t know nuthin about him.
I says it real quick, to block out the thought of how Lugh’s bin changin over the past year or so. How he was that last day. How he said he couldn’t wait to leave Silverlake an the look on his face when he cal ed Pa a foolish old man livin in a dream world. I hate that Pa died with them bein the last words spoke between ’em.
Hey, says Jack, I’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to say. I’m sorry. So, if yer twins he must look the same as you?
I turn on my side to face him.
No, I says. He’s beautiful. Like Ma was. Gold hair like the sun. Long, in a braid right down to his waist.
Yer hair’s startin to grow back, he says. It’s dark.
Black, I says. Like my pa’s. It used to be nice. Thick an long an … I must look real stupid.
No, he says.
When Ma was alive, she used to say, yer the night-time, Saba, Lugh’s the day. I’m the one who always takes things too serious. Lugh’s the one who smiles, makes you laugh. He’s a good person, Lugh. He’s everythin I ain’t.
Is that what you believe? That you ain’t a good person? That you ain’t beautiful?
I don’t say nuthin.
You must miss him, he says.
I never knew that missin somebody could hurt, I says. But it does. Deep inside. Like it’s in my bones. We ain’t never bin apart til now.
Never. I dunno how to be without him. It’s like … I ain’t nuthin.
He reaches over an brushes my tears away with his thumb. I didn’t even know I was cryin. A warm path trails behind his touch.
The clouds clear fer a moment an I dive into his strange silvery eyes. They’re like a moonlit lake. We lie there fer a good long time, jest starin at each other in the soft, piney night. At last he says, We’l find him. I promise. Now try an git some sleep. I’l take first watch.
Wake me when it’s my turn, I says.
I wil , he says.
G’night, Jack.
G’night.
He sits, his back propped aginst a tree.
Jack? I whisper.
What?
Thank you.
Sweet dreams, Saba.
But I don’t sleep fer ages.
Somethin good an strong an true. That’s what he said. Nobody ever used such words about me before. I wonder if he real y means ’em.
The Jack I seen up til now, that Jack’s al charm an quick words an easy smiles. But the way he is tonight, the way he was while we was talkin, I warn’t expectin that. It put me in mind of Mercy. I felt this … stil ness, I guess you’d cal it … at the heart of him. That’s the same feelin I got from her. Stil ness, like calm water.
I dunno what to make of it. It don’t seem to fit. An jest when I thought I had him al figgered out too.
But the thing is, I think I might be … startin to trust him. I know Maev thinks he’s hidin somethin, that he’s got secrets. An she could be right. She’s seen a lot more of the world than me, met a lot more people. Emmi seems to like him jest ne, but what does she know? She’s jest a lit le kid.
I dunno if I’m right to trust him.
I stare up. The gray clouds brush over the black of the night sky.
I wish Lugh was here. He’d tel me. He’d know.
Jack’s bin ridin a lit le ways ahead of us al mornin. I’m glad not to hafta say much to him. I’m wishin I hadn’t of said so much to him last night. I ain’t quite sure why I did. I shouldn’t of let him fool me into sleepin next to him.
Emmi’s ridin beside me an Nero’s hitchin a ride on Hermes’ rump. Emmi starts lookin behind us, over her shoulder.
What is it? I says.
She frowns. Nuthin, she says. But as we go on, she keeps lookin back. I can tel she ain’t easy. That she’s got somethin on her mind. Final y, I cain’t take it no more. I reach over an grab Joy’s reins. Bring her to a halt.
I cain’t take it no more. I reach over an grab Joy’s reins. Bring her to a halt.
Yer drivin me crazy, Em, I says. Tel me what it is.
Jack turns Ajax around an rides back to join us. What’s goin on? he says. What is it, Emmi?
She chews on her bot om lip. Looks al uneasy.
Emmi, I says. Spit it out or I’l shake it out a you.
I … I think somebody’s fol owin us, she says at last.
What? I says.
Where? says Jack. He reaches into his saddlebag an pul s somethin out.
South, says Emmi pointin back the way we come from.
Jack holds the thing to his eyes. It’s made of black plastic. He looks through the narrow end an now I see there’s two big circles of glass at th’other, wider, end. He twirls a lit le knob in the middle.
What the hel ’s that? I says.
It’s a long-looker, says Jack. Lets you see things far of in the distance.
Wrecker tech! I says.
As a mat er of fact, it’s mighty useful, he says. Picked it up back in Hopetown. It’s amazin what people leave lyin around. You don’t come across these very often an them you do find ain’t usual y in one piece.
He takes a good long gander, sweepin it right across the horizon.
He hands it over an I hold it to my eyes. Al of a sudden, the lit le copse that we passed through a half hour back rushes right up close to me. I can see every leaf on every branch on every tree.
Whoa! I give Jack a big smile. That’s amazin!
He stares at me, a funny look on his face. That’s the first time I ever seen you smile, he says.
I scowl at him. Whaddya mean? I says. I smile al the time.
No you don’t, Emmi pipes up. You used to, when Lugh was around, but ever since he went, you bin al mean an cross an horrible an—
Al right, I says, that’s enough.
I was only sayin—
Wel , don’t!
I lift the long-looker to my eyes agin an make a good check of everywhere I can see.
Nuthin, I says at last. There ain’t nobody fol owin us. Next time you imagine you see somethin, Emmi, do us al a favor an keep it to yerself.
She pinches her lips together tight, wheels Joy around an pushes past me, her chin in the air.
Jack opens his mouth to say somethin, an I point my finger at him.
Don’t even think of it, I says. She’s my sister an I’l talk to her any way I want.
He turns Ajax an walks him past me.
She’s nine years old, he says. Give her a break.
Nero caws at me. Like he’s repeatin what Jack jest said. I stare at Jack’s back. How strange. Almost the ezzack same words Lugh said me, that last day when we was fixin the roof.
She’s only nine, Saba. You might try bein nice to her fer a change.