Blindness

“I’m not depressed. I’m sorry if I made you think that,” I shrug, and then slouch down on the bed amidst my pile of clothes yet to be folded and packed. “It’s just…I wasn’t really prepared is all. I mean, I still have my furniture, and I was thinking I’d sort of get a drawer first. Not that I’m not grateful and totally excited to be staying with you.”

Trevor kisses me quickly and playfully. I know he’s a little hurt that I’m not overjoyed, but he’s doing his best to keep me positive. When Lilah asked me to talk last weekend after I came home from tutoring, I thought it was going to be about moving Kyle in with us. Turns out, she’s moving in with Kyle—in a week. There’s no way I can float the rent on our apartment on my own. When Trevor called me later that night after he checked in to his hotel, I was in a full-on panic. So when he suggested I just move in with him, I jumped at it, eagerly, without thinking anything through—namely, the fact that Trevor lived with his parents.

“You’re going to have so much space, and you won’t need any of this old stuff,” Trevor says, kicking the leg of my old desk lightly. I just smile, nod, and scoot closer to him for a hug. When he can’t see my face, I let my smile fall. I love my old junk. It’s Mac’s old junk. Hell, his initials are carved in that desk from when he was a teenager. But Trevor isn’t much of a nostalgic, and I know the things in his parents’ house are far nicer than I could ever afford.

When I told him I was putting my furniture in storage, he just rolled his eyes at me. I think he hopes I’ll let it go once I’ve lived with him for a while, once we move from his parents’ house into our own place. Trevor’s staying with them while applying for his apprenticeships, mostly because he doesn’t know where he’ll be sent. I’m hoping it’s local. But for Trevor, I’ll move.

I’m brought back to my list of tasks by the sound of Trevor’s phone ringing. He steps out into the hall so he can hear over my TV, and when he comes back in, he seems excited.

“Good news?” I ask.

“Maybe, I’ll know more later,” he’s being evasive. I twist my mouth at him a little and squint my eyes. “I’m not hiding anything. I just don’t want to get too excited. I should know more soon.”

“Okay,” I sigh. I’m sure it’s about his interview tour last week, and I’m desperate to know where he’ll be heading next semester. But I don’t push.

I’m not quite sure how, but we manage to get all of my belongings, minus the furniture, in both Trevor’s and my car. We pull up to his parents’ house just after lunchtime, and his mom, whom I’ve only really met a handful of times, comes out to greet us.

“Charlotte, I’m so happy you’re staying with us. Let Trevor and his dad unload the car, you come in and enjoy some lunch with me,” Shelly Appleton puts her arm around my shoulder, guiding me inside, and gives me a wink. Trevor’s mom is easy. I’ve always gotten along with her. She’s usually a little tipsy, but nice nonetheless. Shelly is beautiful—short but thin, and the perfect platinum blonde. She’s a stay-at-home mom, not that she really is caring for anyone any longer. Trevor’s been grown for years. So, I guess, it’s more accurate to say Shelly doesn’t work.

We sit in the kitchen at the counter, and Shelly slides me a plate filled with meats, cheeses, and veggies. She doesn’t really talk much after that, instead flipping through the pages of her People magazine while I try to catch a glimpse of the various articles and pictures upside-down from the other side of the counter. I pick at my food while Trevor and his dad walk in and out the front door, hauling boxes of my belongings. I’m a little uncomfortable sitting back and watching, especially since I’m not really keeping Shelly company. As soon as I’m done eating lunch, I excuse myself and help with the last few loads.

Trevor’s dad, Jim, just nods at me. I’ve had much fewer interactions with him; he’s a lawyer for some big real-estate company and spends most of his time flying from Ohio to Atlanta for meetings and deal closings. The Appletons live in Hunting Valley, a super rich area just outside of Cleveland, only a few minutes from Western’s campus. Trevor said that his parents thought about moving to Atlanta several times, but his dad has just as many meetings in Chicago, so they decided living in the middle made the most sense. I’ll admit, while I’m not comfortable encroaching on the Appletons’ space, I am pretty excited about living in a 6,000-square-foot house and commuting only minutes to school every day.