Blindness

“I thought I lost you, that you weren’t going to marry me because of what I did, and what I said. Charlotte, I can’t lose you,” Trevor says, and my stomach sinks. I hear clanking in the back of the garage, tools slamming, and I see Cody’s back as he’s walking away, heading for the back door for his escape. I wasn’t ready for him to hear about our engagement yet—I wanted to be the one to tell him. I’m terrified he’s leaving, but I’m also grateful for a little time to think.

“Cody, wait up, man. You and I—we need to talk,” Trevor says, his voice stern, that professional tone he gets when he’s in a meeting. Just when I think I can’t feel worse, more anxious, I do. Cody freezes at the door and turns around to face him, his eyes not looking him straight on. It’s the same distance he uses when he steps foot in the Appleton house—like he doesn’t let himself truly be there. He takes a deep breath, and then lets it out slowly.

“What man?” Cody says, clearly mocking Trevor’s words. “What could we possibly have to talk about?”

Trevor keeps walking up to him, undeterred. That’s the thing about Trevor—he’s fearless in the face of conflict. I don’t know how much about him Cody knows, but I feel sorry for him if he thinks he’s going to be able to slide out of here without having the exact conversation Trevor wants to have. Trevor doesn’t lose.

As Trevor gets closer, he reaches his hand out to Cody for a shake. Cody steps back at first, his brow pinching together, completely unable to mask his surprise and distrust. If this were a game of poker, Trevor would mop the floor with him. Cody slides his gaze to me for a moment, and I nod to reassure him. Trevor’s also not one to trick. This is genuine, and if anything comes out of today, I hope it’s a real moment between the two of them.

Cody chuckles a little to himself and finally reaches forward to grasp Trevor’s hand. He gives it a short shake, and Trevor reaches around to hold their clasped hands together. I know what he’s doing—he’s forcing Cody to stop and listen by taking control. He’s a master, but I just hope he doesn’t fan Cody’s flames, because I get the feeling Cody’s not opposed to resorting to throwing a punch or two if he starts to feel a power shift.

“Cody, I’m sorry. I have been nothing but a dick to you. I blamed you—you and your mom. My dad went to Chicago a lot, and I told myself it was because he was trying to get away from you. I convinced myself it started when he married Shelly—when he had to deal with you. I blamed your business, bought into his lines about what a f**k up you were, and kept him on that stupid pedestal,” Trevor says, his voice growing quieter the more he confesses.

“I never let myself really think about it. And I probably never would have if Charlotte hadn’t forced me to. But I’m pretty sure he’s had that second life for a while—probably before he married your mom. I wasn’t fair to you, Cody, and I’m truly sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” Trevor says, my heart almost warming at his reaching out despite this twisted situation it seems to be caught in.

I study Cody, and his eyes actually flinch as Trevor speaks. He’s chewing the inside of his cheek, and I can tell he’s considering everything he’s just heard. Trevor waits him out, as I knew he would, and finally Cody nods once. “Okay,” he says, and he slides around Trevor, back to the car he was working on, kneeling down in front of the hood, probably to meet Gabe’s eyes and look for help from who he feels is his only friend.

Trevor comes back to stand by me, and he leans into me softly with a kiss on the cheek. I think he was probably hoping for a bigger reaction from Cody, but I also know he’s not going to get one, and that he’s probably lucky he got what he did.

“Hey, you do those?” Trevor says, leaning over me now and reaching for my sketchbook. My heart speeds up, like I was caught somehow, and through my drawings, Trevor knows about everything that’s happened between Cody and me. I blink my crazy thoughts away and turn to him and smile.

“Yeah, I was just waiting while Cody was working and thought I’d mess around with the building. It looks pretty cool like this, no?” I say, flipping through the book for him now, showing off the detail drawings I did.

“It looks amazing,” Trevor says, honestly looking at them and thinking hard. “Hey…Cody. Did you see these?” Trevor says, startling Cody, who was still buried under the hood of the car, hiding.

Cody gives in and walks over, grabbing the rag at the end of the table to wipe the oil from his hands. He smiles faintly as he gets closer and leans in from the other side of the table. “Yeah, I told her they were good. That’s what my dad’s shop used to look like, you know?” Cody says, and you can see the pride in his eyes when he says it, the love he has for his father’s shop and his memories.