Blind Love

"The feeding here," said this candid man, "is worse if possible than

the feeding at sea, when I served as doctor on board a passenger-steamer.

Shall I tell you how I lost my place? Oh, say so plainly, if

you don't think my little anecdote worth listening to!"

"My dear sir, I am waiting to hear it."

"Very good. No offence, I hope? That's right! Well, sir, the captain of

the ship complained of me to the owners; I wouldn't go round, every

morning, and knock at the ladies' cabin-doors, and ask how they felt

after a sea-sick night. Who doesn't know what they feel, without

knocking at their doors? Let them send for the doctor when they want

him. That was how I understood my duty; and there was the line of

conduct that lost me my place. Pass the wine. Talking of ladies, what

do you think of my wife? Did you ever see such distinguished manners

before? My dear fellow, I have taken a fancy to you. Shake hands. I'll

tell you another little anecdote. Where do you think my wife picked up

her fashionable airs and graces? Ho! ho! On the stage! The highest

branch of the profession, sir--a tragic actress. If you had seen her in

Lady Macbeth, Mrs. Vimpany would have made your flesh creep. Look at

me, and feast your eyes on a man who is above hypocritical objections

to the theatre. Haven't I proved it by marrying an actress? But we

don't mention it here. The savages in this beastly place wouldn't

employ me, if they knew I had married a stage-player. Hullo! The

bottle's empty again. Ha! here's another bottle, full. I love a man who

has always got a full bottle to offer his friend. Shake hands. I say,

Mountjoy, tell me on your sacred word of honour, can you keep a secret?

My wife's secret, sir! Stop! let me look at you again. I thought I saw

you smile. If a man smiles at me, when I am opening my whole heart to

him, by the living jingo, I would knock that man down at his own table!

What? you didn't smile? I apologise. Your hand again; I drink your

health in your own good wine. Where was I? What was I talking about?"

Mountjoy carefully humoured his interesting guest.

"You were about to honour me," he said, "by taking me into your

confidence." Mr. Vimpany stared in tipsy bewilderment. Mountjoy tried

again in plainer language: "You were going to tell me a secret."