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Blind Love

Page 115

"You always speak the truth."

"I speak in your interest, at least. You think you see your future life

plainly--you are blind to your future life. You talk as if you were

resigned to suffer. Are you resigned to lose your sense of right and

wrong? Are you resigned to lead the life of an outlaw, and--worse

still--not to feel the disgrace of it?"

"Go on, Hugh."

"You won't answer me?"

"I won't shock you."

"You don't discourage me, my dear; I am still obstinate in the hope of

restoring you to your calmer and truer self. Let me do every justice to

Lord Harry. I believe, sincerely believe, that his miserable life has

not utterly destroyed in him the virtues which distinguish an

honourable man. But he has one terrible defect. In his nature, there is

the fatal pliability which finds companionable qualities in bad

friends. In this aspect of his character, he is a dangerous man--and he

may be (forgive me!) a bad husband. It is a thankless task to warn you

to any good purpose. A wife--and a loving wife more than another--feels

the deteriorating influence of a husband who is not worthy of her. His

ways of thinking are apt to become, little by little, her ways of

thinking. She makes allowances for him, which he does not deserve; her

sense of right and wrong becomes confused; and before she is aware of

it herself, she has sunk to his level. Are you angry with me?"

"How can I be angry with you? Perhaps you are right."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Oh, yes."

"Then, for God's sake, reconsider your decision! Let me go to your

father."

"Mere waste of time," Iris answered. "Nothing that you can say will

have the least effect on him."

"At any rate," Mountjoy persisted, "I mean to try."

Had he touched her? She smiled--how bitterly Hugh failed to perceive.

"Shall I tell you what happened to me when I went home to-day?" she

said. "I found my maid waiting in the hall--with everything that

belongs to me, packed up for my departure. The girl explained that she

had been forced to obey my father's positive orders. I knew what that

meant--I had to leave the house, and find a place to live in."

"Not by yourself, Iris?"

"No--with my maid. She is a strange creature; if she feels sympathy,

she never expresses it. 'I am your grateful servant, Miss. Where you

go, I go.' That was all she said; I was not disappointed--I am getting

used to Fanny Mere already. Mine is a lonely lot--isn't it? I have

acquaintances among the few ladies who sometimes visit at my father's

house, but no friends. My mother's family, as I have always been told,

cast her off when she married a man in trade, with a doubtful

reputation. I don't even know where my relations live. Isn't Lord Harry

good enough for me, as I am now? When I look at my prospects, is it

wonderful if I talk like a desperate woman? There is but one

encouraging circumstance that I can see. This misplaced love of mine

that everybody condemns has, oddly enough, a virtue that everybody must

admire. It offers a refuge to a woman who is alone in the world."

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