Bleeding Love

“You don’t know me,” I evade, ignoring his all too accurate nail on the head.

“I know you, Megan. You’ve been around this group for over a year now. A year of you being in a fog while everyone around you was living. You’ve forgotten what it’s like to live and I’m going to remind you. And while I’m reminding you, all you have to do is feel. Then you’ll get it.”

“Get what,” I say softly.

“Everything.”

I open my mouth but close it when he shakes his head.

“It’s sudden. You don’t get this now, but you will, what feels sudden to you, feels just right to me. I’m not going away, Megan.” He pushes off the loveseat and walks over to where I’m sitting in shock, and kneels in front of me. “You were going to be mine long before you tripped into my arms at the reception, Megan. You moaned my name as your body greedily sucked my cock dry and I knew you would be mine. And you became mine last night as I held you trembling in my arms. I’ve got all the time in the world to make sure that happens. Sleep tight, I’ll see you in the morning.” He lifts up, gives me a long look until he sees whatever he’s looking for and before he’s completely standing gives me a kiss on my forehead. “Lock up behind me.”

And with that, Liam walks out the front door.

I rush forward when the door closes and turn both the locks before I turn my back to the door and slide down until my ass hits the floor. Looking across the entryway, my eyes take in the pictures that are sitting on a small table across from the door. Right there is a picture of Jack holding a newborn Molly. I look into his handsome face, his bright blue eyes and black hair shaved close to his head, and let the sob that had threatened earlier bubble up.

It’s time, Megs.

I close my eyes tight when I hear his voice filter through my mind. Shaking my head back and forth as the tears fall rapidly.

He’s right. You need to feel again, Megs.

My eyes clamp tighter.

I miss him. My Jack. My best friend.

It’s time, Megs.

The voice repeats.

I pull my legs up and wrap my arms around them.

It feels wrong, after everything that Jack had done for me, to feel this way for Liam. It shouldn’t feel like guilt, but it does. I’m still here when Jack is gone. I’m still breathing when he gave his life for me.

He’s right. It’s time. I need to take this final step and open myself up to live again.

I stayed on the floor until my face was stiff with dried tears. My bottom was asleep and my chest hurt with the force of my sobs. But I finally got up. Instead of going to my bed though, I went to my daughter’s room and pulled her into my arms.

My daughter who looks everything like her father even though I wish she looked like Jack.

LAST NIGHT I STOOD AT the other side of her door and fought every instinct I have in my body to not break that door down while I listened to her sob. I waited until I heard her tears stop. Then I waited even longer while the lights through her house turned off one by one. It wasn’t until I could uncoil my body from its position outside her front door that I was able to leave. Pulling each of the palms that I had resting against the wood of her front door to stand up straight and force my legs to take me to my truck.

Even then it was another ten or so minutes before I was able to turn the key and pull out of her drive. Leaving her tonight, knowing she was in pain, is even harder than it was to walk away from her in the club owner’s private bathroom.

I make a mental note before pulling out of her drive that her grass is about a week past the point of really needing to be cut.

When I turn out of her neighborhood I press the button on my steering wheel that will allow me to make a phone call. Wincing slightly when I see it’s almost past ten.

“Call Dani home,” I say into the silence around me.

“Calling Dani home,” I hear before the sound of ringing comes from the speakers.

“Hey,” she says softly into the phone.

“That . . . God, Dani,” I say in lieu of a greeting.

I don’t need to say anything else. Dani has been my best friend since before we were out of diapers. She knows me better than I know myself sometimes. There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for her and the same goes with her.

“That bad?” she asks.

“I knew I would be in for a fight. I knew it, but it still doesn’t make it easier to leave when I know she needs me. Do you know how hard it was to wait a full fucking day to come over here?”

“Lee.”

“Don’t Dani. Don’t tell me I might not be the one she needs. I didn’t give you that shit when you were fighting for Cohen to see you.”