Behind His Eyes: Truth

Once within his office, it didn’t take long for the knock and opening of the door. Catherine entered silently, not waiting for an invitation. “Tell me, how was the wedding? You haven’t said much of anything since she arrived.”

Tony ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t want to share any of the weekend with anyone except Claire. Exhaling, he opted to pacify. “The wedding was nice. What more do you want?”

“I don’t know, perhaps how she was received? How she did? I’ve seen pictures from the wedding on the Internet. Did you know they were being taken?”

He shrugged. “I saw some people snapping pictures, and I don’t care. It’s time people see her with me and not him.”

Catherine sat, perched forward on the edge of the chair. “Anton-thony, are you positive this is what you want? I mean, she was unsure at first. What if she leaves and doesn’t come back?”

Tony shook his head. “She won’t. She left to go out with Sue and came back.”

“So, you trust her to leave today and return?”

He exhaled. “I think I’ve answered that.”

Catherine lowered her gray gaze. Peering upward she proclaimed, “I’m proud of you.”

His brow arched. “Why?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d be able to forgive her after everything she did, but once again, you’ve proved me wrong.”

“It’s more complicated than you know—and I want it to work.”

She patted his hand. “I can tell you do. Of course it’s complicated—she’s a Nichols.”

Tony glared. “We agreed that was done.”

“Yes, of course, it was. It is,” she corrected. “That doesn’t change her last name. Certainly that’ll always be in the back of your mind. Is that why it’s complicated?”

“Believe it or not, it isn’t and it won’t be. If I have my way, her last name will be Rawlings again one day, hopefully sooner rather than later.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you happy, but you know as well as I that she can never share your real name. Besides, aren’t you rushing things?”

“She can and she did. Rawls is gone. I’ve resigned myself to that and you need to also. My name is Rawlings and she’ll have that name again.”

“You seem very sure of yourself. So why is it so complicated?”

Tony debated his answer. “Do you remember me telling you that Claire had been doing some detective work?”

Catherine nodded.

“Well, she knows about the blue Honda.”

Catherine gasped, “That’s impossible—how?”

“I don’t know, but she knows that there was a woman.”

“And…?” she probed.

“If she knows your identity, she hasn’t shared.”

Catherine ran her hands up and down her thighs rubbing the smooth fabric of her slacks. “How is that even possible?”

“You started it with your delivery. I’m not going to tell her, but if she learns, you only have yourself to blame.”

“B-but that’s not true. I didn’t send any information to lead her in that direction. It was all meant as a way for her to understand you.” Catherine stared pleadingly. “And it’s worked. Look how well it’s worked.”

“I’m not going to debate your motive or even the outcome. You know as well as I that it could have gone much differently. Claire isn’t the problem; it’s that her laptop has been stolen and is in the hands of some burglar who now has access to our family history.”

Catherine paced the length of his desk. “What are you going to do?”

“Anything I can,” his baritone voice hardened. “I will get that damn laptop back and find out who stole it and why.”

“Do you think Claire knows?”

He leaned forward. “Catherine, she knows that my parents were killed. She said she believed me that I wasn’t responsible, that it was a woman in a blue Honda. If anything, she sounded more sympathetic than judgmental.”

Catherine’s shoulders straightened as she hummed through tightly pursed lips.

This was why Tony didn’t want to have this discussion. Whenever his parents were mentioned, even after all of these years, Catherine’s stance hardened. “It is time to let it go,” he reminded her.

“You’re telling me that Claire is on the verge of learning information that could land us both in prison, and I should feel good about it?”

“I’m telling you that I won’t tell her. It’s a secret we’ve kept this long, and I believe if she ever does learn the truth, she’s trustworthy.”

“I hope you’re right. Please find that laptop.”

Tony nodded. “I have people working on it. Now, if you don’t mind.” He gestured toward the door.

“It’s good to see you happy. I hope she doesn’t disappoint you—again.”

As Catherine left the office and closed the door, Tony contemplated her comment. He didn’t want to be disappointed; however, more than that, he didn’t want to disappoint. It wasn’t only Claire, but also their child. He wanted to believe that if he continued to keep his word, show Claire how important she was, and how much they belonged together, then they could avoid disappointing one another.

There was a time, long ago, when they’d had a different mutual agreement. He’d promised to not hurt her again, if she promised to follow his rules. In many ways it was the same; however, the rules were different and so was the pain. After experiencing her accident and the aftermath, Tony truly didn’t want it to happen again. Now that the threat was no longer physical, perhaps the new fear was greater. Never, even when they were married, had he wanted to allow her access to the real man behind Anthony Rawlings. Tony didn’t know if it was the child or her newfound strength, but regardless of the reason, he wanted to share. That desire incited a fear deep within him as he’d never known. Was this what it was like to truly love someone? Did it mean more than a promise of obedience and togetherness? Did it also mean allowing yourself to be vulnerable?