Behind His Eyes: Truth

She sprung up and clapped. “Oh, thank you! Thank you, Brent. Thank you, Tony. I won’t say a word. When will you know if it will be up for review?”

Brent answered, “It’ll take a few months, and I should be kept apprised of updates.”

Tony offered his hand to Brent. “Thank you.” He shook Brent’s hand. “I apologize for delaying your departure, but I wanted Claire to hear it from you.”

Courtney smiled enthusiastically. “That’s all right; however, now we really need to go. I’m so glad this was good news.” Reaching out for Claire’s hand, she continued, “Now, you need some rest. Tony’s right—you’ve had too many things thrown at you. Look how emotional you are.”

Claire nodded. “We’ll see you tomorrow night, and before then, I’ll call you.”

Tony grasped Claire’s hand, and they walked back to the car. As he opened her door, he bent down and whispered, “A man of my word.”

She smiled all the way to her emerald eyes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, I really mean that.”

Through the high beams of the Lexus’ headlights, the country roads wound like a ribbon over hills and between open fields. Tony squeezed Claire’s knee, bringing her back from wherever she had been. He’d been explaining the whole reinstatement process, yet she seemed a million miles away. Tony went on, “There are so many levels and so much bureaucracy that it takes longer than you would expect, but Brent thinks it can be resolved before the end of the year.”

“That’s a long time away. How long did it take to set him up?”

His neck stiffened. “I’d rather not talk about that.”

“Why? I know you did it. You told Brent and Courtney you wanted to be honest. So, be honest.”

He sat taller and momentarily refused to look her way. Damn it, he was helping her brother-in-law—why did she need to bring this up? Fine, she wanted to know. “From the time he turned down my job offer.” He peered toward his passenger. There wasn’t an outward sign or hint of emotion as Claire pressed her lips tight and watched the road before them. When she didn’t respond, he asked, “You asked. Now you won’t comment?”

“I don’t know what to say. Do you want my bold and cheeky response or the reticent and genteel one?”

He gripped the steering wheel, fighting the urge to lower his right foot and drive the damn car the way it was designed to be driven. “This is why I haven’t answered all of your questions. You may think you’re ready for answers, but you’re not. Bits and pieces may help you understand, but the blatant truth is too much.”

His blood boiled as Claire sat silently during the rest of the ride, keeping her head turned toward the window. He wanted to be open, to be honest, but her reaction proved that it wasn’t possible. Would Claire ever be able to handle knowing the whole truth? Was he a fool for trying? With each minute of silence, Tony felt Claire slip further and further away; he didn’t know how to stop it. Her expression was one of indifference; he’d seen it before. The news about her brother-in-law was supposed to show her that he was trying. Instead, her resulting coolness beckoned his red. He berated himself for even attempting to make amends when their gap was obviously insurmountable.

When Tony pulled the car onto the brick circular drive in front of his house, Claire turned to him and placed her hand on top of his. Shocked by her soft touch, his dark gaze stared momentarily at the size difference of their hands as he tried to corral the red hue. Slowly, he moved his eyes to hers. The fire he expected was absent.

The soft emerald soothed as she said, “Thank you. Thank you for supporting me tonight with your friends. I was very nervous. It turned out much better than I could’ve possibly hoped… and thank you for helping John. I know you don’t like him, and that you created his problems, but helping him now—it means a lot to me.” She leaned in and lightly kissed his lips.

With one hand, Tony gripped the door handle; it was a means of keeping himself grounded. One minute, he was happily explaining the progress they’d made with John, the next, he was driving in silence belittling himself and Claire for trying to be open and honest, and now she’d kissed him and he wanted nothing more than to pry her from this car and take her on the damn driveway. The emotional roller coaster was too much. Tony had said he wanted fuck’n highs and lows. He just didn’t want them all at once over the course of twenty minutes. “Claire, I’m trying to give you space, but I’m on the edge.”

She leaned back and undid her seat belt. “I know you’re trying, and I appreciate it.”

She was halfway to the front door when he caught up and seized her arm. Stepping nearer, he whispered, “I’m very glad you’re here.”

Claire smiled and looked up at the house. “I’m surprised at how much I like being here. I was afraid the bad memories would overpower the good.”

“Does that mean… the good overpower the bad?”

Claire shrugged. “I don’t know. I wish I could say yes. You said you want honesty, and honestly, I don’t know. They’re both there. It’s just that the familiarity of here is heartwarming.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I need to go into the office tomorrow morning. I hope to be done and home by noon. The dessert celebration isn’t until 8:00 PM. Would you like to go for a walk tomorrow?”

“A walk?” she asked.