Beautifully Broken 3: Before We Fall
Page 23Why?
Because he’s dangerous to me.
Because even though this is supposed to be fun, temporary, and lighthearted, I can feel myself getting pulled in. I feel myself getting attached and I can’t do that. That wasn’t supposed to be part of this.
I don’t remember offering to be with you. That’s what he said. He doesn’t want me like that, not for something real. He runs cold and hot and he’s always, always detached. If I make the mistake of wanting something real from him, then I’m going to be crushed, just like always, because I’m making yet another bad decision.
My heart twinges as I remind myself of that. But it’s the truth. I don’t shirk from the truth.
I do hide from it sometimes, though. Like when Dominic turns to me in the parking lot after work and says, “Hey, I have to go to California on Friday night so I can shoot this weekend. Would you like to come?”
One word instantly comes from my mouth before I can even think about it, before I can remind myself yet again that I’m not going to get sucked in.
“Yes.”
Dominic
I slide my hands up Jacey’s dress, pulling her to me, her h*ps grinding into mine.
“Fuck me,” she whispers into my ear, her fingernails cutting a trail down my back. The pain of it turns me on, but her scent turns me on even more. I lift her up and bite her lip, thrusting my tongue into her mouth before I unbuckle my belt and pull off my pants.
I hover over her for just a minute before I plunge deep inside of her. She moans and writhes beneath me, her fingers twisting into the sheets.
“Dominic,” she whispers. “Get up.”
I pause and look at her in confusion, because I’m rock hard right now. “I am up, babe,” I answer. “And it’s for you.” I thrust into her again and she smiles.
“Get up,” she answers again, chuckling. But her voice is deeper now, manly. Not her normal sexy voice.
I’m confused for just a minute more until I realize that I’m dreaming. But now I’m awake and I’m not with Jacey at all. In fact, Sin is standing next to my bed, cackling like a rooster.
“What the fuck, Dom?” he laughs. “What the hell are you dreaming about? Or I guess I should say, who. You were moaning like a son of a bitch.”
I grab a pillow and thrust it onto my face, breathing in the goose-down smell, trying like hell to get rid of my boner. Margaret Thatcher. Naked. On a cold day.
“Get out,” I growl at him. “What the hell, Sin?”
“What time is it?” I ask groggily, but it’s too late. I can hear the door closing as Sin leaves. I lie still for a few minutes longer and then I throw the pillow against the wall.
What the hell? I’m pissed at myself for a bunch of things, but most importantly, for dreaming about f**king Jacey. What. The. Fuck? I’ve turned myself into a f**king celibate monk (or my version of one) for good reasons. And there’s no good reason that I should be dreaming of f**king anyone, Jacey included.
I glance at the clock. Nine f**king thirty. I guess it’s a good thing Sin woke me up, or I’d have been late for the gym… and I believe what Joe says. If I’m late one more time, I shouldn’t bother coming back. Jesus.
I pull some clothes on, spray on cologne, and head out the door, calling Tally from the car.
“What?” I ask when he answers. “What was so important you needed to call four times?”
Tally sighs into the phone. “I just want to make sure you’re going to be on the plane tonight. I’ve got it arranged… And I told Amy Ashby that she could share the flight. She’s in Chicago visiting her boyfriend. She’ll ride back with you.”
“I’m going to have someone with me,” I tell him as I turn out into traffic. “I need you to add her to the passenger list. Jacey Vincent.”
Tally sighs again. “Oh, that’s gonna make Amy happy.”
“I don’t f**king care,” I tell him honestly. “It’s my plane. She’s coming back from visiting her boyfriend, anyway. She shouldn’t care, either.”
But he and I both know that she will. Because Amy Ashby is bitchy like that. She thinks that everything and everyone is hers. Jacey is feisty, though, and I know she can handle it. A quick memory of her roundhouse kick to Jake’s chest flits through my head and I smile. Yeah, she can handle herself in any situation, whether it is with a Hollywood mean girl or a juvenile delinquent.
“Since when are you hauling around a woman?” Tally demands after he has me spell her name for the flight manifest. I roll my eyes.
Since a woman has wormed her way into my head and I started having erotic dreams of f**king her. But of course I don’t say that. I growl and hang up instead.
I spend the rest of the drive to the gym in silence, staring at the road. I stare at my hands, at the sky, at the traffic. But it doesn’t distract me from what Tally said. When did I start hauling a woman around?
It’s a good f**king question.
And the only answer I can come up with is: since I became fascinated with one. It’s the first time in a long, long time, and even though it’s not smart, I’m not ready to pull the plug on it yet. I don’t know why.
That’s puzzling to me, as well. I’m just as curious about my own feelings regarding her as I am about Jacey herself. I do not like getting close to people. I do not like giving them the opportunity to hurt me, use me, or exploit me.
But she hasn’t given me a reason to believe that she’d do any of those things, I remind myself. That’s the point of this whole thing. I’m giving someone a chance, for the first time in a long time, to prove to me that she’s not like everyone else. But the second she does… it’s over.
The second that I think she’s not the genuine and open person that she seems to be, we’re done.
She’s says that he’s like a brother to her. That there’s no way he thinks of her as anything but a brother. But there’s no way she can’t see the same things I do.
I stare at the guy as he watches Jacey walk to the door. He’s most definitely not watching her as a brother would. His eyes sweep from her ass to her shoulders, back to her hips. It’s a gaze of appreciation.
And then, abruptly, he looks at me as I hold the gym door open for her.
I see a million things in his eyes, a myriad of emotions. Jealousy, resentment, frustration. But most importantly, a threat.
Stay away from her. It’s unspoken, but the meaning is clear. I return the gaze calmly, not backing away, and he finally breaks the stare and drives away.
“What the hell?” I snap at Jacey. “Aren’t you ever going to get your car fixed?”
She looks at me sharply, surprised by my annoyance. I’m surprised by it too, but I can’t help it. There’s no f**king way she can’t see how into her Brand is. And because there’s no way she’s that oblivious, it means that she’s not as decent as I’d so like to believe, because she’s still leading him on.
Which means she’s let me down. Even though I expected it, I’m surprised by how disappointed I am.
“Not all of us are made of money,” she snaps, bringing me back to the matter at hand. “I’ll fix my car when I can.”
I shake my head and follow her inside. Could it be that she really just needs his help and she’s not purposely using him? It’s a notion I’d love to believe, but I’m having a really hard time swallowing.
“We’re leaving straight from here,” I tell her just as sharply. “Did you bring a bag?”
She nods. “Yeah. If you’re in a better mood this afternoon, then I’ll actually go with you.”
With that, she flounces off. I watch her go… her nose in the air, her shoulders back and her ass tight in her short shorts. I have to smile at her attitude. I think it’s one of the things I like best about her. She’s spunky. That’s for sure.
But I freeze as I realize what I just did.
I just admitted that I like Jacey.
Fuck. That can’t be good.
That means it’s time to end it. Now. That, in combination with this whole Brand thing, is enough to just pull the f**king plug and get it over with.
I yank my phone out of my pocket with full intention of acting like I just got a call from Tally to tell me that shooting had been canceled when I glance over at Jacey.
With a deep sigh, I slide my phone back in my pocket. I can’t do it yet… not because I’m scared of my own feelings for her or because of my suspicions about Brand. Those aren’t good enough reasons.
The point of this whole thing is to see if I can get past my misgivings about humanity and give her a chance.
And besides, I’m not done with her yet.
Chapter Fifteen
Jacey
I’ve never been in a chartered plane hangar before, but I try not to act like it. I try to restrain myself from gazing around like an idiot… at the shiny jet, the staff who is waiting to meet us, and the carpet that is rolled out for us to walk on.
Holy crap. Is this seriously how famous people live?
Nonchalantly, I follow Dominic up the steps and onto the plane, trying my best to seem blasé. But as Dominic turns to ask me which leather sofa I’d like to sit on, I can see his eyes twinkling, and he knows. He knows that I’m way over my head. But I still don’t give him the satisfaction of admitting it.
“Anywhere,” I shrug. “They all look the same.” As in, they’re all expensive, soft-as-butter Italian leather. Dominic grins.
“Okay,” he shrugs back. “We’ll take that one. Amy can have the other.”
“Amy?” I raise my eyebrow. Dominic looks surprised.
“Did I forget to tell you? Amy Ashby is in Chicago right now. She’s sharing this jet with us.”
I feel a monster-sized weight form on my chest and I swallow hard.
“Uh, yeah. I guess you did forget to mention that part.” I’m going to be riding with one of the biggest actresses on the planet, and not only that, but she’s notoriously bitchy. Super.
Dominic stares at me curiously as he sits, pulling me down next to him. “Is that a problem? I’m sorry that I forgot to tell you. I just found out myself last night.”
I shake my head. “No, of course it’s not a problem. I’m good.”
I’m not good. My legs are shaking again, and that pisses me off. No one is better than you, I remind myself. She’s famous, not better. I’m practically muttering to myself as I settle in beside Dominic, automatically resenting that he’s so calm and cool.