Beautiful Surrender

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Should I?”

“You should. He has a right to know. He is the father right?”

I wiped the tears from my cheek. “Unless my fingers have started magically producing sperm, yes. Vincent’s the only one I’ve had sex with.”

“Okay. How is your relationship with him going? You said you two made up right?”

“Yeah, we did.”

“Good. That should make it easier to tell him. Have faith in him, Kris. Didn’t you say he adored his nephew?”

Giselle’s stories about Vincent’s emails in the early morning hours enthusing over activities and programs for Brady ran through my mind. “He does. I think he might actually be too intense about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, his sister made it sound like he’s borderline obsessed with the kid. Sends her emails at two in the morning with camps and stuff his nephew can go to when he’s old enough.”

Riley nodded. “That sounds very sweet. It sounds like he would be a great dad.”

“I don’t know Riley, liking kids is not the same as wanting one of your own.”

“That’s true. He’s a busy CEO and lives a fast-paced lifestyle. But liking kids is certainly a positive sign.”

“Or what if he really does want a child and I don’t? What if I just don’t want to be a mom yet? I could get an abortion and not tell him. Wouldn’t that be easier? If I tell him, and we disagree, this could destroy our relationship. Then it would have been easier just to not tell him, and maybe we can have a baby years from now.”

She sucked in a deep breath. “I think you should think hard about whether you want to get an abortion. My mother had an unplanned pregnancy and almost got an abortion. I’m glad she didn’t, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

I could feel my face grow hot with embarrassment. “Riley, I didn’t know . . .”

“It’s okay. We all have secrets Kristen.” She squeezed my hand. “Just don’t make a quick decision. Think about it. I think I would tell Vincent. If you make this decision by yourself, it’s going to be a strain on your relationship for the rest of the time you’re together. I mean, it’s pretty dishonest.”

She made a good point. If Vincent couldn’t trust me to talk to him about something this important, that said bad things about the health of our relationship as a whole. Still though, it was just so much to deal with. “You don’t think I’m too young to have a child?”

Riley shook her head. “You’re twenty-five. A lot of women have children at that age. When people are as young as we are, typically money is a big concern, but that’s obviously not the case here. You have a great job and Vincent is loaded.”

“That’s part of it though, Riley. I can’t have a baby fathered by my client. That’s beyond scandalous. If I decide to have this baby, my time at Waterbridge-Howser is done.”

“I thought you said they had no policy against it!”

I sighed. “Official policy is one thing. Shoving it in the company’s face by taking maternity leave to have a baby fathered by a client is another. It’s practically proof they got the client because I had sex with him. Other wealth management firms could use that against them every time they make a pitch. The wealth management business is pretty conservative.”

“So they would fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”

“They might if they could figure out how to get away with it, or they would force me out slowly. It doesn’t matter. If I decide to have this baby, I need to find a new job before it happens. Before I start showing, actually.”

“Wow. That is a lot to handle.”

“It feels like too much. What is Vincent going to say when I drop all these problems on his lap?”

She shook her head. “Talk to him and find out. He’s the CEO of an enormous company, I’m sure he’s used to dealing with complicated situations. If you don’t talk to him about it, I think you’ll regret it later.”

“And if we break up because we can’t work it out?”

“If you guys can’t work through an issue like this together, is the relationship still worth it?”

I took a deep breath. “I guess not. Still though. This is so much.”

“You don’t have to make a decision yet. Like I said, I think you should talk to him. That’s what I would do.”

That night, I lay in bed thinking about how chaotic my life had become. I was pregnant. It explained how strange I had been feeling lately, but it still left me with more questions than answers. My life had been on the straight and narrow for so long, traveling steadily along a single path. The past two months had been the sharpest detour I could imagine.

Vincent was part of that detour, though, and the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with Riley. I needed to talk to him about my pregnancy. It was unplanned, yes, but maybe it would end up being a pleasant accident. I couldn’t rule that out. What I did know was if I made the decision without keeping him in the loop, I would have to hide that from him for the rest of my life. As long as we were together, anyway. I didn’t want that hanging over our relationship.

I had a meeting scheduled with him on Thursday. So far, the topic of the meeting would be going over the investment strategy options I had developed for his personal wealth, but it looked like there would be another item added to the agenda, official or not.

Chapter Five

Tuesday and Wednesday passed by in a blur of anxiety. Most of that time had been spent on thinking about the pregnancy than on actual work. I’d wavered back and forth between wanting to tell Vincent and not wanting to tell him, wanting to keep the baby and not wanting to keep the baby.

By the time Thursday came, I’d made up my mind that I was going to tell Vincent, but I was still unsure about my personal stance on keeping the baby or not. I would need to know how Vincent felt before making a decision on how I felt.

Work before the meeting with Vincent was a morass of emails and memos. I kept having to reread messages to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. It was impossible to focus; I couldn’t tell if it was hormones or nervousness, but my mind felt dull and fuzzy. Even though I would have usually completed the work in thirty minutes, it took a full four hours before it was done.

Finally, the moment came for me to leave for my meeting. I packed up my stuff and took a cab over to his office. The ride went by in a numb haze. How would I start the conversation? How would he react, regardless of how I started it? The course of my life could depend on this meeting. Funny how it’s always the people you least expect that end up changing your life in the biggest ways. A few months ago, I would have never thought I’d have Vincent Sorenson’s unborn child nestled in my womb, but here I was.

I took a deep breath and exited the cab. The walk from the curb into his building and up the elevator felt like a sprint. I was going to do this. Striding through the Red Fusion office, I waved to his secretary before reaching his office. His door was half open and I knocked on it.

“Come in,” Vincent called.

I eased the door open and walked through. Vincent wasn’t sitting at his desk. Rather, he was looking out the window, lost in thought. He wore a slim cut pair of navy pants and a white and light blue checkered shirt separated by a tan leather belt. Casual but neat. I still wasn’t used to how sexy he looked in whatever he wore.

He turned over his shoulder and looked at me. “Hello, Kristen. You’re a few minutes early.”

“Am I?” I asked. I looked at my watch. “Sorry about that. Traffic was lighter than expected.”

He waved his hand as if pushing aside my words and smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s a good surprise. I like good surprises. ”

He took a couple steps toward where I was standing just inside his door. “Close that,” he said.

I knew that tone. He was seconds away from kissing me, and if that started, there was no way I was going to end up talking to him about the pregnancy. I held up the file I had prepared for presenting the strategy I had in mind for his assets. “We should get through this,” I said. “It is important, after all. I also have something else to tell you afterwards, something unrelated to business.”

“It must be about pleasure then. I’m looking forward to it, Kitten.”

I smiled but inwardly resisted letting his usual effect on me take hold. Vincent didn’t need any extra encouragement to keep teasing me and I didn’t need him trying to derail my carefully laid plan.

“Not quite, let’s just take it one thing at a time.”

He sighed. “You’re right. Where do you want me?”

In context it sounded sexual and my sex instinctively tightened at his tone. With how busy he’d been the past few weeks and the crazy events that happened, it seemed like forever since we had sex. I needed to focus. One thing at a time. First get through your presentation and then you can tell him about the baby.

He cocked an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “Yes, sorry. I was just thinking about my presentation.”

He laughed. “I hope you’re not as nervous as you were the first time we were in this office. Though I rather enjoyed that conversation . . . ”

Even though he got a smile out of me, I knew I had to get this discussion back on track. “Sorry Vincent, don’t think that’s happening today.”

“Okay, well once you’re done presenting these materials maybe we can move on to phase two of the meeting.”

Vincent clearly had a different idea of how phase two of the meeting was going to go.

“We can just sit on the couch,” I said.

How would he react when he found out about the baby? It was clear from our weekend visit with Giselle that Vincent loved Brady, but that was his nephew. He didn’t have to take care of Brady every day. Would he feel the same way if the child was his? Would he be willing to sacrifice his lifestyle for that?