Beautiful Disaster (Beautiful #1)

Contemplating for a few minutes what I could do to her this weekend I only pack some rope and a few toys as a rather devious idea starts forming in my mind.

A short while later we're both sitting in the car, excited and grinning as we leave the city for the countryside. After she's done fucking with the radio stations again Bella leans back and regards me levelly.

"Still weird. I would have thought that when I tell you I want you to go mean on my cute little ass more often you'd lock us in at home, not take a vacation from all that."

I don't even have to work on turning my grin into a lopsided, evil smile.

"Who says I'm planning to leave your ass alone the next few days?"

She takes that in with her lips pursed, but then starts laughing.

"Let me guess, it was unnecessary wishful thinking when I packed that new lingerie I got last week?"

"I wouldn't say that," I muse. "But you better keep everything you want to wear ever again in your bags, because I can't guarantee that the rest will be in any state resembling proper clothes when I'm done with you."

Bella only bites her lip again but doesn't reply, and the glazed over look on her face tells me that she definitely approves.

I think a few days away from home and the established routines will do us a lot of good.

Chapter 20

Sometimes all you need is talk, and all problems will miraculously resolve themselves.

I've never fully believed in this, but now I think I'm converted. The farther we get from home, the freer I feel, as if an invisible weight has been lifted off my chest, and judging from the carefree way Bella is talking and laughing next to me, I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking like that. Part of me is still a little sore about her not wanting to marry me, but I've really meant it when I've told her I don't need to seal our love for each other with any kind of contract.

Obviously it's not the fact that we won't tie that knot after all that has us both exuberant, but that for the first time in ages I at least feel unencumbered. Like everything is resolved, all issues are dealt with, and we get a chance at a fresh start. I even have to admit that in a twisted kind of way it's a relief to see that Bella is also struggling with the shit Jazz has been spreading. I really don't want her to hurt, and I wish that I'd have the words to wipe all her concerns away, but it also shows that she finally realizes the situation I've been in ever since that day. Why her forgiveness alone didn't just make everything okay. And just like she has helped me drag myself out of the emotional hole I've dug myself in deep, I intend to lend her a hand to get out of her own.

We arrive at the resort a while after nightfall, and Bella snickers when the nice elder lady at the reception apologizes to us that they've had to give us the most remote cabin they have. A short while later we're all settled in, ready to fall right into bed and chase the last ghosts of anxiety from our earlier talk away – but Bella has other plans.

"Did you see the hot tub out back?"

I haven't, actually, but she's not even waiting for my answer. By the time I've managed to locate it in the absolute dark between the cozy little cabin and the forest Bella is already naked, and up for some skinny-dipping mischief. Only carrying two candles to make up for the lack of illumination she 'forgets' to turn on for obvious reasons she's out of the room over the patio door before I know what's happening, her disappearance followed by splashing sounds and her delightful laughter teasing me.

"Hurry up, this is amazing!"

Never one to hesitate to shed my clothes I follow her example and join her after a quick dash over the dark, dew wet lawn. Even though summer isn't gone that long yet the night air is uncomfortably cool, making the warm water even more enticing as I ease myself into the dark hot tub.

Before I know what hits me Bella's body is pressed against mine, causing me to lose my footing, but I can't complain as her eager mouth on mine cuts any sound that might have left me short. The tub isn't really large so there's not that much room where I could sit down anyway, and before long I have her straddling my lap with her arms tightly around my neck, both of us submerged below the shoulders. Her fervent kisses soon turn deeper and more sensual, and I relax against her, simply enjoying myself.

Eventually she pulls back and settles more comfortably against me, her head on my shoulder while her arms dip under water to embrace my torso instead, probably because her skin has cooled off too much. For a long while we just stay like that, our bodies still as close as we can get, enjoying the warmth and quiet together.

My mind starts to wander and eventually returns to the last part of our conversation, and Bella shifts her hips suggestively against my hardening cock once she feels it press into her stomach.

"What are you thinking about?"

Her voice is laced with suggestion, making me laugh.

"What devious things I can do to you now."

"Now as in right now, or now as in once we get out of the water?"

I turn my head until I can look at her face, and even the darkness cannot hide the lewd grin she's directing at me.

"Now that you've given me free rein over you."

"Hmm, I definitely like the sound of that."

"Just be careful what you wish for, babe."

She snickers at the term, then pushes away from me a little so that her body is mostly afloat before she crosses her arms over my chest, pillowing her chin there so that her face is right before mine.

"With you? Never."

"Ah, you wait," I grunt, then lean back further so I can stretch out more comfortably. Having her body so close is tempting, but my mind won't shut up now that it has found something to mull over.

"Any expectations you have that you want to share with me?"

She shrugs, then takes a while to think.

"Well, not exactly. It's not that I don't have any ideas rattling around up there, but with all the things I really needed to tell you I kind of didn't have the time to let them grow into more than fleeting wank fantasies."

"And there I was under the impression that you weren't allowed to masturbate," I observe dryly.

Bella laughs, then stretches to plant a single kiss onto my nose.

"And I don't. But that doesn't mean that I never lose myself in a helluva deprived daydream, or spend the last minutes before I fall asleep thinking of what you might do to me if you didn't feel like you'd have to hold back all the time."

"I won't if you don't want me to anymore."

Her breath hitches at that, and the gaze in her eyes is filled with lust and anticipation both, but also a hint of dread, as I'm happy to realize.

"Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a somewhat measured approach to all things a little more out there. But I think we've both grown so much over the last months, and grown together, I feel like we can shed the kid gloves. If we haven't already. And you know that I will step on the brakes if I feel like it's getting too much too fast."

"I know."

Bella gifts me a smile at that, before she lets her eyes drift close.

"I'm just wondering what you packed for our trip here."

"Not much," I admit, making her snort.

"Yeah, like you need all that much anyway."

"Probably. We'll see about that tomorrow."

Silence falls again, only interrupted by the soft splashing sounds of the water as she shifts again. More ideas start forming in my mind, and I decide that now is probably a good time to discuss them with her.

"You said you want to step things up a little bit. Did you mean like me adding a few more rules for you, like the masturbating rule you already follow so diligently?"

She shrugs, then nods.

"Yeah, sure."

I have to admit, the idea of taking more of her personal freedom away is daunting, both in a good and bad way. I've always been more comfortable with upping the physical aspects of my relationships with my subs rather than the mental ones, but then again I've spent most of that time helplessly in love with a woman I thought was out of my reach, which culled most of my desire to be emotionally closer to my subs than necessary. With Bella a pleasant constant in my life I guess I can break that habit, too. And it's not like she won't laugh in my face if I come up with something too ridiculous.

My continuing silence is soon starting to make her restless, a fact I feel very amused about. It's as if now that the option is out in the open, she can't wait for me to complicate her life.

"You know why I'm a little hesitant about this, right?"

For a moment she is confused, but then her brow furrows in understanding.

"Tanya?"

I nod, pressing my lips together, but like I've been inwardly hoping, she latches on to that.

"You never really talk about her."

"Because there's not that much to tell. I mean she was a psychotic, abusive bitch. If anyone asks me who my first dominant has been the answer will always be Beth."

"Of course. But I don't see how anything she did would make you tuck in your tail and run from a chance to explore something new together."

A few things actually come to mind that I could say now that might change her mind about that, but in the end she's right.

"Beth only had one single rule for me, which was no wanking while I was her sub. It was easy not to break that rule, and whatever else she demanded of me in the playroom, it always made me feel wholly myself. I never want you to feel so caged in your own mind as I did with Tanya."

Bella is silent for a few seconds, then she shrugs.

"I love you, that bond is already more restricting than anything else you could ask of me, and I love feeling that way. Maybe you should just give it a try? I'm sure the control freak part of your nature will greatly enjoy keeping me on a shorter leash."

Letting my hands roam over her sides until I can grab her ass I pull her lower body closer to mine again while my eyes keep staring deeply into hers.

"As you wish. There are actually a few things I might want to try."

"Shoot."

Grinning at the phrasing of her reply, I shrug.

"For starters, no more clearly defined playtimes. I think we've been together long enough that you can tell the difference between me fucking you, and making love to you."

"Hm, let me check if I get this right, you holding me down while you fuck the living shit out of me, with all that hair pulling and spanking, that would be fucking. And that hours long caressing and kissing and taking our time probably the other. If we ever really did that."

I smirk at her wink, and she grimaces when she feels me pinch her ass a little too hard to be still called a caress.

"About right, yeah. That also means that you have to ask before you come whenever it's even remotely like play time."

"Oh I don't mind that. I love it when you make me beg for it," she replies with a languid if heated smile, and I make a mental note to remind her of saying that in a few days again.

"You getting so cocky about that clearly means I'm way too lenient with you. In fact I don't really remember a time we've had sex when I didn't let you come eventually. Don't count on that being the norm from now on.

Your orgasm should be a reward, if there's nothing you do that deserves a reward there's no reason for me to grant you release."

She blinks, and I see when exactly she realizes the implications of all that, but she doesn't back down.

"You'll make me work for it, okay. What else?"

"Hm, let me thing. Ah, yes, speaking of rewards, you'll better get used to having my cock in your ass more often, because I'll only fuck your cunt on special occasions from now on."

That idea seems to distress her somewhat.

"Does that limit everything you might want to shove into my pussy, or just your cock?"

Her tone more than the words make me laugh.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, you know, more anal sex sounds great but I've been kind of hoping that we'll do more, ah ..."

She hesitates, and I'm sure that she's blushing right now, adding to my amusement.

"Bella, why are you stuttering?"

"I have no idea," she huffs, then laughs. "Okay, this is ridiculous. I can say it if I can do it, right?"

"I'd certainly hope so," I remark dryly. "Just spit it out."

"Fisting. I was trying to talk about that. I'd be really disappointed if you'd keep that to a special occasions only activity. So my question, does that embargo concerning your cock in my cunt also include your hands or other toys, or are you just fucking with my head here?"

"I'm strongly leaning towards the latter."

That draws another delighted laugh from her.

"Speak plainly, please. I really want that answer without any leeway for me to worry I'll grow cobwebs down there any time soon."

"Don't worry, if you want my fist in your pussy I'll never say no. In fact, if we do a little more anal play I think we can extend that to fisting there, too, eventually."

Her eyes go a little wide at that, but as before it's mostly cautious excitement. To make sure that I disband any weird notions right away, I add, "Don't worry, I know that takes more time. I really don't want you to get hurt. But I love fucking your ass, and I know you do, too, so if you enjoy that same stretching sensation with toys there, too, we can eventually give anal fisting a try. That's all."

"I think I'd really like to do that. Try, I mean. Eventually."

That eagerness, more than anything else she's said that day, makes me realize just how much of a mental journey she's been through of late.

"Okay," I acknowledge her, forcing my enthusiasm mostly from my voice. "If you really want that, we should probably get you used to having something stuck up your bum more regularly."

"Hm, I like the sound of that. So what, you'll sodomize me for hours every day now?"

"If I had the time I would do nothing else anymore," I tease, then shrug at her sad laugh. "But what I was referring to is for you to wear a butt plug for a limited time each day. Let's start with a small one for an hour each evening, and once you feel comfortable with that we can step it up in time frame and circumference."

As excited as she seems about the whole idea, that last part doesn't sit too well with her.

"A small one, seriously? I mean you fuck me often enough when I have one of the medium sized inside me, and I never have any problems with that."

"But you seldom have it in more than a few minutes, and you're usually not moving around. Just try it when we get home, small plug, one hour while you do stuff like loading the washing machine. If I'm too cautious you can always skip right to sleeping every night with a medium sized one."

"Deal."

Her enthusiasm makes me grin, and I nod sagely.

"Once we're back I'll also send you to Beth's shop to pick up a few things I want you to take with you every day from now on."

"Just as?"

"A small vibrator and butt plug, and one of those remote controlled butterfly vibes."

Bella looks a little horrified at me mentioning that.

"You mean the one that's keyed to text messages and such?"

"Someone's been snooping around sex shops, I see?" I tease her.

She shrugs.

"Maybe a little. But that's just mean."

"And your point is?"

Wise beyond her years she keeps her mouth shut at that, but I can see some apprehension lurk in her gaze.

"You said you trust me, remember?"

"Of course I do."

"Then trust me that I won't abuse that. If you want to we can keep some shared calender or something where you can put down important meetings and the likes. And at the beginning at least I'll call you first and make sure I won't put you in a situation that will jeopardize your job."

This time she doesn't hesitate to nod, and even offers me a small smile.

"I know I'm gonna regret this but yes, I trust you. Explicitly. But don't think I won't curse you inside my head!"

"You can curse me all you want, also to my face, but that might get your tight little bum painted with red stripes."

"Might be worth it a time or two," she quips, but her smile remains. I feel the similar look on my face turn evil slowly as I let my hands continue to roam over her body, before I kiss her again. Time will tell if any of this will work, and if it will turn out a burden or enrichment to our days. Just because I've hated feeling restricted in everything I do doesn't mean she won't get off on it.

As both of us seem happy enough with considering our talk concluded now I eventually get out of the tub again, and throwing Bella over my shoulder I carry her inside to the sound of her whooping laughter and futile protest.

Dumping her face-down onto the bed I'm on her before she can flip over, pinning her down with one hand between her shoulder blades as I crouch over her thighs. She's still laughing into the pillows while I angle one-handedly for the lube in the nightstand, but the sound quickly turns into a wanton moan as my fingers push into her ass.

Shifting my weight so that I can hold both of her wrists above her head while most of my body is toughing hers I keep finger fucking her while I whisper into her ear.

"You like that, don't you? Being helpless underneath me while I stretch your ass?"

"Yes!" she gasps, the sound cutting off when I bite into her shoulder. Even restricted in movement as she is I can feel her hips buck back against my hand, drawing an evil chuckle from me.

"You're such a slut."

"Your slut, Master!"

Hearing her utter those words makes my cock yearn for more action than just rubbing against the side of her thigh, so I extract my fingers and rearrange myself again to cover her whole body fully. Once she can shift her legs a bit she eagerly raises her ass, her thighs now pressed together, and I don't keep her waiting much longer.

Once I feel her sphincter gripping the head of my cock I let go of it to instead grasp each of her wrists in one of my hands, before I push fully into her, causing her beautiful body to arch underneath me. I only stop for the few seconds she needs to make herself relax a little, before I pick up a pace that's not exactly rough but not gentle, either. Before long she's trying to fight my grip on her while her hips jerk up to meet mine, a sure sign that she's very close to coming already. I love how easy it is to push her towards that edge sometimes.

As much as I want to keep fucking her hard to reach my own climax fast I force myself to slow down, increasing the depth of my thrusts at the same time. Her haggard breathing turns to low moans, and our motions synchronize a little more. When I nudge her hair away from the side of her face with my nose I see her glare at me, aware that I'm deliberately playing with her, but that only furthers my own enjoyment.

"Got anything to complain, slut?"