Ball & Chain (Cut & Run 8)
Page 57“Guys,” Kelly said softly. “I understand this has to happen, but we need to shelve this for a few more days. Can we do that?”
Nick didn’t turn around. Ty took a deep breath and nodded, though, trying to regain his voice. He met Zane’s eyes, surprised to find his lover watching him sadly. “Okay,” Ty rasped. “Let’s see what else we can find. We know Amelia wasn’t what Milton was trying to sell last night. So there’s something else here.”
“Department of Defense technology,” Zane offered. “That has to be what he was selling.”
“We find out who the buyer is, we find the killer,” Nick said. His voice was still low and angry.
Kelly snorted. “How do we do that?”
“Okay,” Ty said with a nod. “Zane and Kelly stay here, go through that laptop for anything even remotely related to this. Nick and I will go talk to Burns and Stanton.”
Zane gave him a raised eyebrow, his eyes darting to Nick. “Is that a good idea?”
“It’s the first good one he’s had,” Nick grunted.
Ty glared at him, torn between hurt and angry. “Why not? We’re professionals here.”
Zane snorted. “Because . . . well, sending you two out there together is like giving a toddler a lit match and telling it to go play in the sagebrush.”
It was Zane and Kelly’s turn to exchange frowns. They both shook their heads.
“Nick can stay here with me and go through the emails; we’ll discuss the interviews from yesterday,” Zane proposed. “You and Kelly go question Stanton and Burns.”
Ty snorted but nodded. “Fine. Irish, let me have that gun.”
“Nope,” Nick said, and he sat in the chair beside Zane and crossed his arms.
Kelly grabbed Ty’s elbow and dragged him toward the door.
The constant press of Nick’s presence beside Zane was beginning to make him edgy. He didn’t know if it was simply because of how worked up Nick was, or if it was something about Nick’s current mien that made sitting beside him almost physically painful. Zane had always known Nick to be a calming presence in a room, not the epicenter of something that felt like it was about to explode. That was usually Ty’s role.
“You okay?” Zane finally asked him.
Nick turned his head but didn’t quite look at Zane. He nodded, but his jaw was tight. “He plucks people up and puts them out there, tells them they’re doing good. But he leaves them hanging in the wind. Just out there hanging and . . . dying. And for what? Their country?” He shook his head. “It’s bullshit.”
Zane didn’t even have to ask who Nick was talking about. “Burns tried to recruit you when he did Ty and Sanchez, didn’t he?”
“Why didn’t you go in with them?”
Nick leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hands over his face. “It felt wrong. Everything he told us, it just felt . . . it’s hard to explain. It felt like maybe he wasn’t the good guy.”
Nick glanced at Zane quickly, probably to judge his reaction. Zane tried hard to keep his face neutral.
“I tried to tell Ty and Eli why I didn’t like it, why I hadn’t agreed to do it. But I couldn’t explain the feeling, and there wasn’t a f**king thing I could point to to back me up. Ty had already made up his mind, and you know how he is when he thinks he’s right.”
Zane smiled. “Yeah, I do.”
“And Jesus Christ, you add in making his dad proud and he’s a brick wall. I gave up on Ty, but I begged Eli to come to Boston with me instead of signing up for Burns.” He trailed off, eyes on the desktop. His eyes were no longer focused on anything but the past.
Zane couldn’t help but stare at him. “What happened?”
Nick shook himself and met Zane’s eyes again. “Eli stuck with Ty. He said he’d rather go out with his boots on than be a civilian. And Ty told me I was a coward for refusing the offer and going back home to Boston.”
“Really?” Zane asked, dumbfounded by that disclosure. He’d always imagined Ty and Nick so tight they had to be untied to take a piss. To discover they’d ever shared a harsh word was a revelation. And to hear that Ty had gone so far as to call Nick a coward, well . . . it gave Zane serious pause, especially after what he’d just witnessed. That Nick had been harboring the same feelings of betrayal Zane had felt . . . how the hell had he done it without letting it tear him apart?
“How’d you two get right again?” Zane asked.
Nick was silent, staring at the desk, and Zane realized he already knew the answer. Ty and Nick never had gotten right again. Not really. And then New Orleans had happened, with all those secrets and lies spilling over.
“I’m sorry,” Zane whispered.
“You remember on my boat, when you asked why I kissed Ty when I did?” Nick asked.
Zane nodded, not keen to relive those memories and emotions. “You said you knew you’d already lost him. I thought you meant . . . to me. That wasn’t what you meant, though, was it?”
Nick was nodding, not seeming to realize that he was doing it. The issues between the two men went deeper than even Ty or Nick knew. They’d both simply been playing the parts they were familiar with, loyal to the very painful core, without questioning why it felt different.
Something about it made Zane inexplicably sad. Ty and Nick had the most pure friendship Zane had ever witnessed; to see that it had crumbling foundations hurt his heart.
“Burns took a handful of the best Marines in the Corps and turned them into six pieces of nothing. And all the bullshit his little side jobs put them both through? Eli being shot down like a f**king dog in some hotel room.” Nick met Zane’s eyes. “So yeah, I’m having a hard time controlling the urge to punch Richard Burns in the face. Or Ty, for that matter.”
Zane snorted. “Understandable.” He waited a beat, glancing at Nick again. “I’ll hold him down for you if you decide to go for it.”