Awakened (House of Night #8)

Zoey

I almost kept walking by, and then I remembered that before he'd gone through the Change, Erik had been Jack's roommate. And because of that I also remembered that it didn't matter just then what had happened between him and me. I was serving the role of High Priestess tonight for Jack, and I knew beyond any doubt Jack wouldn't want me to let Erik sit out there all by himself, crying.

Plus I had a sudden flash though my mind of the time when Erik had found me crying after my first, disastrous, Dark Daughters' Ritual. Back then he'd been sweet and thoughtful and had made me feel like maybe I could really handle the craziness that happened at this school.

I owed him a favor in return.

I squeezed Damien's hand and brought him and my whole group to a halt. "Honey," I said to Damien,

"I want you to go with Stark and everyone else to the pyre. There's something I have to do real quick. Plus, from everything I can find to read on vamp funerals and such, you--'cause Jack really was your Consort-- need to spend time meditating before the pyre is lit." At least I hoped that was what Damien needed to do.

As if she'd materialized in response to my words, a vampyre stepped out of the shadows, coming from the direction of the funeral pyre. "You are absolutely correct, Zoey Redbird," she said. I, along with all of my friends, gave her big question-mark looks.

"Oh, I should introduce myself." She offered me her forearm in the traditional vampyre greeting. "I am Beverly--" She paused, cleared her throat, and started again. "I am Professor Missal. The new Spells and Rituals instructor."

"Oh, uh, nice to meet you." I returned her greeting by grasping her forearm. Yeah, she had a full vamp tattoo--a pretty pattern that reminded me of musical notes--but I swear she looked younger than Stevie Rae. "Um, Professor Missal, would you lead Damien and the rest of the kids to the pyre? There's something I need to do here."

"Of course. Everything will be ready for you." She turned to Damien and said gently, "Please follow me."

Damien said a faint okay, but he looked super glassy eyed. Still, he began following the new professor. Stark hung back. His eyes shifted to the shadows and the bench on which Erik sat. Then they returned to me.

"Please," I said. "I need to talk to him. Trust me, 'kay?"

His face relaxed. "No problem, mo bann ri." Before he started after Damien, he added softly in his excellent Scottish accent, "It's waitin' for you I'll be when yur finished."

"Thank you." I tried to tell him with my eyes how much I loved and appreciated his loyalty and his trust.

He smiled and moved off with the rest of the group. Well, except for Aphrodite. And Darius, who hovered about like her shadow.

"What?" I said.

"Like we can leave you alone?" Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Seriously. How clueless are you? Neferet managed to cut off Jack's head without actually being there. Darius and I aren't leaving you alone to comfort Erik the Douche." I looked at Darius, but he shook his head and said, "Sorry, Zoey, Aphrodite has a point."

"Could you at least stay back here out of earshot?" I asked in exasperation.

"Like we want to hear Erik's crybaby crap? No problem. Just hurry up. No one needs to be kept waiting for a douche bag," Aphrodite said.

I didn't even bother to sigh as I walked away from them, making a path to Erik. Okay, seriously. The guy didn't even know I was there. I was standing in front of him. His face was in his hands and he was crying. Really crying. Knowing what an excellent actor he was, I cleared my throat and got ready to be semi-sarcastic, or at the very least passiveaggressive.

When he looked up at me everything changed. His eyes were puffy and red. Tears soaked his cheeks. Snot even ran out of his nose. He blinked a couple of times, like he was having a hard time focusing on me. "Oh, uh, Zoey," he said, and made an effort at pulling himself together. He sat up straighter, and wiped his snotty nose on the back of his sleeve. "Um, hey. You're back."

"Yeah, I landed a little while ago. I'm going to light Jack's pyre. Wanna come with me?"

A sob erupted from deep within him. Erik bowed his head and began to weep. It was totally awful. I so didn't know what to do. And I swear I heard Aphrodite snorting off in the distance.

"Hey." I sat next to him and awkwardly patted his shoulder. "I know it's terrible. You guys were really good friends."

Erik nodded his head. I could see he was making an effort to get himself under control, so I sat there and babbled while he sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve (eesh).

"It really sucks. Jack was too darn nice and sweet and young and everything to have something like this happen to him. We're all gonna miss him so much." "Neferet did this." He spoke quietly, and I saw him glancing around like he was scared of being overheard. "I don't know how. I don't fucking even know why, but she did it."

"Yeah," I said. Our eyes met.

"Are you going to do something about it?" he said.

My gaze didn't falter one little bit. "Absolutely everything in my power."

He almost smiled. "Well, that's good enough for me." He wiped his face again and ran a hand through his hair. "I was leaving."

"Huh?" I said brilliantly.

"Yeah, going. Leaving the Tulsa House of Night for L.A. They want me there--in Hollywood. I was supposed to be the next Brad Pitt."

"Was?" I asked, totally confused. "What's stopping you?"

Slowly, Erik raised his right hand and held it, palm out, toward me. I blinked several times, not really understanding what I was seeing.

"Yeah, it's what you think," he said.

"It's Nyx's Labyrinth." Of course I recognized the raised sapphire-colored tattoo that filled his palm, but it was like my mind was having a hard time catching up with my eyes, and I wasn't getting it until Aphrodite's voice came from behind me. "Oh, for shit's sake! Erik's a Tracker."

Erik's eyes shifted from me to Aphrodite. "Happy now? Go ahead and laugh. You know this means I can't leave the Tulsa House of Night for four years--that I have to stay here and follow a damn essence and be the asshole who is there when every kid for the next four years is Marked and finds out he might or might not die, but for sure has to change his life forever."

There was a moment of silence and then Aphrodite said, "Is that what's bothering you? That you're the new Tracker and it's a tough job, or is what's really bothering you that you have to put off Hollywood for four years and in that time there's sure to be `the next Brad Pitt'?" I whirled around and faced her. "He was Jack's roommate! Do you remember what it's like to lose a roommate?" I saw her expression shift and soften, but I just shook my head. "No. You and Darius go on. I'll follow you." When Aphrodite still hesitated I spoke directly to her Warrior. "As your High Priestess I'm commanding you. I want to be alone with Erik. Take Aphrodite and meet me at Jack's pyre."

Darius didn't hesitate for another second. He bowed solemnly to me, then he took Aphrodite by the elbow and literally pulled her away. I sighed deeply and sat down next to Erik on the bench.

"Sorry about that. Aphrodite means well, but like Stevie Rae would say, she's not very nice sometimes."

Erik snorted. "You don't need to tell me that. She and I dated, remember?"

"I remember," I said quietly. Then added, "You and I dated, too."

"Yeah," he said. "I thought I loved you."

"I thought I loved you, too."

He looked at me. "Were we wrong?"

I looked back at him. Really looked back at him. Goddess, he was hot in a seriously Superman/Clark Kent kind of way. Tall and dark and blue eyed and muscly. But there was more to him than that. Yeah, he was controlling and arrogant, but somewhere inside him I knew there was a really, really good guy. I just wasn't the right girl for that guy.

"Yeah, we were wrong, but that's okay. Recently I've been reminded that it's okay not to be perfect, especially if you learn from your mess-ups. So how about we learn from ours? I think we could make better friends anyway."

His gorgeous lips turned up. "I think you might be right."

"Plus," I added, bumping him with my shoulder, "I don't have enough pretty straight guys as my friends." "I'm a pretty straight guy. I mean, a really straight guy who is also, as you say, pretty."

"Yep, you are," I said. Then I held out my hand.

"Friends?"

"Friends." Erik took my hand in his and then, with a rakish smile, he dropped gracefully from the bench to one knee. "My lady, let's always be friends."

"Okie dokie," I said, kinda breathlessly, 'cause, well, no matter how much I loved Stark, Erik was seriously hot and a super good actor. He bowed and kissed my hand. Not in a creepy I'm-trying-to-get-into-your-pants way, but in a real old-school-gentleman way.

Still on his knee, he looked up at me and said, "You have to say something tonight that gives us hope and helps Damien, because right now lots of us are just floating out there wondering what the fuck--and Damien is seriously not doing well."

My heart clenched. "I know."

"Good. No matter what else, I believe in you, Zoey."

I sighed. Again.

He smiled and stood up, pulling me up with him. "So please let me escort you to this funeral." I took Erik's arm and stepped into a future I couldn't have begun to imagine.

It was an awesome, sad, incredible sight. Unlike the last time a funeral pyre had burned for a vampyre at the House of Night, the entire school was there. Fledglings and vampyres made a huge circle around a benchlike structure that had been built in the very center of the school grounds. I could still see the charred grass that bore witness to the fact that not long ago Anastasia Lankford's body had been consumed by the Goddess's fire in that very same place. Only the school hadn't come out to witness and show respect for her then. Too many of them had been under the control of Kalona--or just downright scared. Tonight was different. Kalona's control had been broken and Jack was getting a Warrior's sendoff.

My eyes found Dragon Lankford even before I looked at the funeral pyre. He was standing behind Jack in the shadow of the closest oak tree. But the shadows didn't cloak his pain. I could see tears falling silently down his chiseled face. Goddess help Dragon, was my first prayer of the night. He's such a good man. Help him find peace.

Then I looked at Jack.

What I saw made me gasp and smile through my tears. As was traditional for vampyre funerals, he'd been wrapped, head to toe, in the traditional vampyre shroud, but Jack's covering was purple. Super shiny. Super brilliant. Super purple.

"She actually did it." Erik's choked voice came from beside me. "I knew purple was his favorite color, so I went to The Dolphin at Utica Square and bought purple sheets. Lots of them. Then I told Sapphire over in the infirmary to wrap Jack in them, even though I didn't think she really would." I turned to Erik, went up on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. Jack would absolutely love that you did that. You were a good friend to him, Erik."

He nodded and smiled but didn't say anything, and I saw that he was crying again. Before I could join him and bawl so hard I couldn't possibly be mistaken for anyone's High Priestess, I looked away from him and my eyes found Damien. He was on his knees at the head of Jack's pyre. Duchess was sitting beside him and his chubby cat, Cammy, was curled up mournfully between his knees. Stark was standing next to Duchess and I could see that he was petting her and murmuring to the dog and Damien at the same time. Stevie Rae was next to Stark, looking super miserable and bawling steadily. Aphrodite stood at Damien's other side, with Darius right behind her. The Twins were to her left. And from each side of my group of best friends, the entire school stretched in a quiet, respectful circle around the pyre. Many of the fledglings and vampyres, including Lenobia and most of the other professors, were holding purple candles. It didn't seem like anyone except Stark was talking, but I could hear lots of sobbing. Neferet was nowhere to be seen.

"You can do it," Erik whispered.

"How?" I barely spoke the word.

"Like you always do--with Nyx's help," he said.

"Please, Nyx, help me. I can't do this on my own," I whispered aloud. And then Professor Missal was there, ushering me forward. So, moving with what I hoped were the confident strides of a grown-up real High Priestess, I walked directly to Damien.

Stark saw me first. When his eyes met mine I didn't see any hint of jealousy or anger, even though I knew Erik was walking right behind me. My Warrior, my Guardian, my lover, stepped aside and bowed formally to me.

"Merry meet, High Priestess." His voice rang over the school grounds. Everyone turned to me and it seemed, as one, the House of Night bowed, acknowledging me as their High Priestess.

It gave me a feeling like I'd never had before. Professors, vampyres hundreds of years old, and the youngest of fledglings were all looking to me--believing in me, trusting in me. It was as terrifying as it was awesome.

Do not ever forget this feeling, the Goddess's voice sang through my mind. A true High Priestess is humble as well as proud, and never forgets the responsibility that being a leader entails.

I stopped before Damien and bowed to him, fist closed over my heart. "Merry meet, Damien." Then, not caring that I was deviating from the vampyre funeral etiquette text that I'd read on the plane, I took Damien's hands and tugged, so that he stood up. I wrapped my arms around him and repeated, "Merry meet, Damien."

He sobbed once. His body felt stiff and he moved slowly, like he was afraid he might break into a zillion pieces, but he hugged me back really hard. Before I stepped away from him I closed my eyes, centered myself, and whispered, "Air, come to your Damien. Fill him with lightness and hope, and help him get through this night." Air responded instantly. It lifted my hair and wrapped around Damien and me. I heard him suck in a breath, and when he exhaled, some of the terrible tightness went out of his body. I stepped back and met his sad eyes. "I love you, Damien."

"I love you, too, Zoey. Go ahead." He nodded toward Jack's purple- shrouded body. "Do what you have to do. I know Jack's not really there anyway."

He paused and choked back a sob and then added, "He'd be glad it's you, though."

Instead of bursting into tears and falling to the ground in a soggy puddle like I wanted to, I turned to face the pyre and the House of Night. I drew two deep breaths, let them out, and with the third I whispered, "Spirit, come to me. Make my voice loud enough for everyone to hear." The element with which I have the closest affinity filled me and strengthened me. When I began speaking my voice was like a beacon from the Goddess, and it echoed with sound and spirit over the school grounds.

"Jack isn't here. In our minds we all understand that. Damien just said it to me, but tonight I want you all to know it." I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and I spoke slowly and distinctly the words that were Goddess-touched as they came to my mind. "I've been to the Otherworld and I can promise you that it is as beautiful and amazing and real as your hearts want to believe. Jack is there. He doesn't feel any pain. He's not sad or worried or scared. He's with Nyx in her meadows and groves." I paused and smiled through the brightness of tears. "He's probably frolicking gaily in those meadows and groves." I heard Damien's surprised giggle echoed by a few of the fledglings. "He's meeting familiar friends, like my Heath, and probably decorating like crazy." Aphrodite snorted a laugh and Erik chuckled. "We can't be with him right now." I looked at Damien. "It's hard. I know it's hard. But we can be sure that we'll see him again--in this life or the next. And when we do, no matter who we are or where we are, I promise you that one thing about our spirit, our essence, will stay the same: love. Our love lives on and will last forever. And that's a promise that I know comes straight from the Goddess." Stark handed me a long wooden staff that had something sticky wrapped around the other end of it. I took it, but before I walked to the pyre my eyes found Shaunee.

"Will you help me?" I asked her. She wiped away her tears, faced south, lifted her arms, and in a voice magnified by love and loss, she called, "Fire! Come to me!" The hands she held up over her head glowed as, with me, Shaunee walked to the head of the giant pile of timber on which Jack's body lay.

"Jack Swift, you were a sweet, special boy. I'll always love you like a brother and a friend. Until next time I see you, merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again." When I touched the end of my torch to the pyre, Shaunee flung her element into it, instantly setting it to light with an otherworldly glow that shimmered yellow and purple.

I'd turned to Shaunee and was opening my mouth to thank her and her element when Neferet's voice pierced the night.

"Zoey Redbird! Fledgling High Priestess! I ask that you stand witness!"