As She Fades

Surprisingly, he still didn’t get it. Maybe he’d had too many licks to the head so far in college football. I hadn’t been expecting to feel so hard toward him. This was new. Since I had woken up and realized he wasn’t here, I hadn’t been angry. Just unattached. I couldn’t explain it. Somehow I had just accepted things had changed, and no tears or heartache came with that.

“I understand why you weren’t here,” I repeated.

He frowned and ran his thumb over my hand. “You aren’t happy to see me now.”

“It’s been three days,” I finally said. He wasn’t going to get it otherwise.

He sighed and nodded. “I know. I didn’t get Knox’s message until yesterday. We practice all day and I crash at night. I hadn’t had my phone even charged until last night.”

Yet his girlfriend was in a coma. He hadn’t charged his phone. Still he saw nothing odd about this. Maybe he had always been this way and I had just accepted it. During my time in the coma it seemed I had changed. Not him. Me.

“I see” was my response.

Before, I would have kissed him and held him close and said I was so happy to see him. I would have asked about football and all he had been doing. I would have done and said whatever I needed to make him smile. Now … I just didn’t care.

“You’re hurt,” he said, looking upset. “God, Vale, I am so sorry. I swear if I hadn’t been so damn exhausted from practice every day I would have thought about the fact I needed to keep my phone charged. I should have been here as soon as you opened your eyes. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

He seemed sincere. But the tug at my heart he used to control wasn’t there anymore. Was it because I had been asleep for so long? I wasn’t sure what had happened.

The door opened and Nurse Mae walked in. “I see you have more company. But it’s time for your rehab. Get those muscles moving. I’m excited to see what you can do today since you surprised us all yesterday with your determination.”

I had pushed until I couldn’t push anymore yesterday. I wanted out of here and I wanted my life back. Or, possibly, a different life back. “I’m ready. He was just leaving,” I replied, glancing back at Crawford.

“Thanks for coming to see me. Good luck with football,” I said, and he winced. It had been cold. I knew that, but I didn’t have any warmth for him.

“I’m going to wait here. I don’t want to leave you.”

I didn’t want to come back here after the grueling workout they would put me through and deal with more of this. “No. I’d rather you not. I’ll see you next time.”

He looked defeated. There was a small part of me that felt guilty about that. The look on his face and the way my words were affecting him. I wasn’t sure if it was from the habit I had of trying to make him happy, or if I should truly feel guilty about how I was treating him.

I reminded myself that he had taken three days to get here to see me. Three. Even his best guy friend had stopped by to check on me before he had. That had spoken volumes.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he promised.

“Okay” was all I said. Not sure I believed him.

He left the room after one long look at me for more than an okay.

Once he was gone I turned back to Mae, who had become a friend—if a nurse could become a friend. She was kind and liked to make me laugh with her jokes. I preferred her over the other nurse, Everly. I had actually requested only Mae take me to rehabilitation every day. On Mae’s days off, another nurse named Sam came in to help.

“Let me guess. Crawford,” she said, raising her eyebrows.

I nodded. “Yep.”

“Does he realize he’s a little late?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but I don’t think I can care enough to really say anything more about it to him. Before, he was my world. But now … he isn’t. There are more important things for me to focus on.”

She nodded in agreement. “Like kicking ass today in the gym.”

I laughed. Mae made me do that often. “Yes, like kicking ass today in the gym.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

SLATE

THE TWO-STORY BRICK home was bigger than what I’d grown up in, but not that much. I expected it to be a lot larger than this. They did have five kids. Seemed like that would require more house.

I stepped up onto the porch, still unsure if this was a good idea. Knox had called and invited me to dinner. Said his mom wanted to cook for me and send a plate home to Uncle D. I wasn’t good with the big family setting simply because I’d never been around it.

If I was being completely honest, I would admit I was here because of the girl and my curiosity. I wanted to see her awake. Hear her talk. Watch her with her family. We’d both gone through a life-changing event at the same time. Maybe that was what drew me to her, or maybe I was just a nosy son of a bitch. Whatever the reason, I was here. Because of her.

She had surprised even the doctors by her will to conquer rehab. They had released her after only a week. She had to come back once a week to the rehabilitation clinic, but other than that she had been sent home to live her life.

I had been on my way to her room when Everly, a nurse I really wish I hadn’t fucked this summer, told me she had been released. Then she’d invited me over for the night. The woman was at least five years older than me and I wasn’t convinced she wasn’t married. There was something secretive about her.

I lifted my hand to knock when the door swung open and Knox stood there with a grin. “You made it.”

“Yep,” I replied. “Not going to miss out on home-cooked food.”

“I hear ya. I have to ride home to Momma’s some weekends because I miss the eating. The fast food and cafeteria food get old during the week.”

It was all I knew, but I nodded like I understood the difference. Uncle D and I had lived on microwave dinners. The one time he tried to cook spaghetti, he set the stove on fire and we ended up at the burger joint in town.

“Lucky for you the whole family won’t be here tonight. Momma has been keeping the crowd back for Vale’s sake. She’s adjusting to being home and all.”

I was glad to hear I didn’t have to do the big family thing. I was curious about Vale, not the other brothers.

“How’s she doing?” I asked, following Knox inside.

He shrugged. “Good, I guess. She’s quiet. Less chatty and lively than she once was. But the doctors said that’s normal. She’ll be back to herself soon.”

In the photos I’d seen of her before, she was always laughing and smiling. That smile and the way her eyes danced were two of the things that drew me in. Made me want to know more about her.

“I don’t think so. Here, Momma, let me do it.” A female voice caught my ears and I paused. It was her. Even without having heard the voice before, I knew it was hers. It may be simply because she was the only girl I knew to be here, but still. The sound of her voice fit the face I’d seen.

“Okay, fine. You butter the bread. I’ll worry about mixing up the tea,” Mrs. McKinley said.

“Come on in here and meet my sister.” Knox led me into the bright white-and-yellow kitchen. “Company is here,” he announced.

My gaze went directly to hers. Her dark hair was different—washed and full of body. It hung long down her back, curling at the ends. She and Knox had the same clear blue eyes. Almost like you could see through them. I’d never admired Knox’s before, but on his sister they had a different effect.