As She Fades

“Yeah, well, I bring her food and share the same parents, so she has to speak to me,” Knox replied.

“She’s your sister. That helps my ego somewhat.”

I pulled out the yeast roll I knew my momma had made fresh and took a large bite. One too big to be expected to speak. I heard Knox muffle a laugh. Maybe he’d get the hint and send Mr. Annoying on his way.

“I thought you lived in Huntsville with your uncle? What brings you this far out?”

Knox was changing the subject. I owed him one for that.

“Uncle D has stage four cancer. It’s in his liver. This is the closest hospital equipped to handle that.”

Oh. The uncle he lived with was dying. Now I felt a little bad. Okay, maybe a lot bad.

“I’m sorry—I hadn’t heard anything about it before summer break.” Knox was sincere. He had a big heart.

“He didn’t tell me about it until I got home. Then he had his first surgery two weeks ago. Once he’s recovered he’ll start chemo. All they’re promising is that it’ll prolong his life. Not save it.”

“Damn,” Knox whispered, and shook his head. “Well, if there’s anything I can do, let me know. I bring my sister lunch daily. I can do the same for you if you need it.” Knox again meant every word. He’d have our momma making this guy meals starting tomorrow.

“Nah, I don’t camp out up here. Uncle D would be pissed if I tried. I stop by once or twice a day. I’ve got a friend in town and I’m crashing at her place.”

That was more like it. Crashing at a girl’s place. No wonder he didn’t stay with his uncle. He had a female to get to.

“Okay, well, if you need something you got my number.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Brothers,” Knox said, then did that hand thing I recognized as Kappa Sigma. They were fraternity brothers.

“See you around. Keep that friendly sister of yours under control.” Slate’s voice was teasing, and I swallowed my roll before glancing up at him. He winked and I turned my attention back to my food.

“I’ll do my best.”

Once he was gone Knox looked at me. “Smart girl.”

I frowned and turned my gaze to his. I was expecting to get scolded for dissing his frat brother. “What?”

Knox nodded at Slate’s retreating form. “Blowing him off. He’s my brother and he’s a great guy, but he’s a slut. I’d wager he’s slept with every hot nurse on this floor already. The guy gets around. He’s a legend in Kappa Sigma.”

That, I did not have to be told. “I already had him figured out.”

Knox patted my knee. “I should have known.”

Yeah, he should’ve.

CHAPTER THREE

CRAWFORD’S MOTHER, JULIET, had been like a second mother to me most of my life. She was younger than my mom and Crawford was her only child. She had married his father right out of high school and completely believed in young love being strong enough to last the test of time.

However, over the past month she had changed. The vibrant, smiling woman was no more. She had wrinkles now I hadn’t noticed before. Her once-gorgeous blond hair was thin and brittle. Her shoulders slumped forward all the time where once she had stood tall with excellent posture and poise.

Crawford was her world, too. She was falling apart without him and I understood. I accepted her sharp words and strict rules about visitation. I didn’t let my feelings get hurt when she complained about my always sitting in the waiting room. She was hurting and she needed to lash out. I was here to take it. Crawford would do the same for me.

I recognized the click of her heels just as the hands on the clock I’d been watching for over an hour moved into the four o’clock position. She was leaving to go home to eat, bathe, and rest before coming back to stay the night. She refused to let her husband or me stay. She had to be here. In case.

In case he opened his eyes. Or … he didn’t.

I waited until she appeared in the doorway to wave me over. It was our routine and I followed it. She needed that control. I picked up my bag and stood. It was my turn with Crawford, finally.

“He’s had a bit more brain activity today. Knox coming in and reading to him the short time he did was good for him, I think. If anything changes call me immediately,” Juliet said. Normally that would be good news, but it was what she had been saying every day for the past month.

“I will,” I assured her.

She nodded and glanced back at his door one more time before squeezing my shoulder and walking away.

This was the only part of my day I looked forward to yet dreaded just the same. Seeing Crawford hooked up to those machines with his eyes closed never got easier. The pain was always there. Just as strong as it was the night he ran the new stop sign on County Road 14 and a truck T-boned us on Crawford’s side going fifty miles an hour. I hadn’t even lost consciousness. I remembered every moment of it. Screaming his name as his lifeless body lay there. Unable to free him or even open my door. Blood from the gash in my head dripped into my eyes, blurring my vision, but I had witnessed it all. Every terrifying second.

The only mark I had left from that night was the scar from the stitches just under my hairline. My bruises had long since healed. The concussion was also gone. It wasn’t fair that he was the one lying there. I’d been laughing as he sang off-key to a song and he’d glanced over to smile at me. That had been the last thing I saw before we flipped several times and metal screeched and the stench of burning rubber filled the air.

Stepping into the room, I let my gaze go directly to Crawford. He was thinner than I’d ever seen him, but the bruises and gashes on his face had healed. He didn’t seem so beaten and broken anymore. Just peacefully sleeping and in need of a double cheeseburger.

He loved double cheeseburgers with extra pickles and mustard. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at one now. Not without him.

“I’m here. I’ve got a new book. One that is light on the romance and heavy on the action. Your mom seemed positive about your progress today. I like seeing her happy.”

That was a lie. She was far from happy, but if he could hear me I didn’t want him worrying about his mom. He always did.

“Knox brought me broccoli casserole and fried chicken. Momma’s specialty. I think she’s trying to make me fat. He said he read to you from the college sports website you love so much. I’m sure he had a lot of opinions he threw in.”

I talked about everything that happened during the day, hoping he could hear me. I liked to think he’d open his eyes to ask me questions if he was curious enough. Several nights a week I’d dream he opened his eyes as I read to him or held his hand. Then when I finally woke up, I’d cry because dreaming didn’t make it real. My heart was empty with him not smiling back at me. I was lost, and I would stay that way until he opened his eyes.

For a moment, I thought about telling him about Slate. That had been the only unusual thing that happened today. Except that another patient, Mr. Wagoner, got to go home. I was going to miss him cruising the halls in his wheelchair. But I knew his kids and grandkids were ready to have him back.

“When I leave tonight I’ve got a game of basketball with the McKinley boys waiting on me. I need you there to help me take them down. You know how cocky they are.”

It had once been me, Crawford, and Knox against Jonah, Michea, and Dylan. The youth against the older ones. It wasn’t until Dylan married and moved off that we started having some success. Crawford growing five inches in one summer helped, too. He had gotten as tall as Jonah then, six foot three.