As She Fades

Just as I thought I was going to scream and pull out all Slate’s hair, my world exploded and the release shot through me. I was left trembling as he kissed up my stomach, then pulled me into his arms. “You enjoyed that.” His voice sounded pleased and I gave a weak laugh.

“Yes.” I stated the obvious.

“I did, too. And for now I’m going to let that be enough.”

Wait. What?

“Don’t be mad. I like you all soft and relaxed in my arms. I’m taking it slow with you, Vale. You are different. I don’t want to treat you like the others. I can’t. My feelings … I just … I can’t.”

Could this be enough? Being with him like this and knowing he was with other girls, too? The idea of him touching someone else like he’d just done to me was breathtakingly painful. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“I can’t, either,” I said, pulling away from him. “That was amazing … but I can’t be with you this way and know I’m one of many.”

Slate sighed and took my face in his hands. I liked it when he did that. It was like he was claiming me. Telling me he cherished me. Wanted me. “You are the only one. I haven’t been with anyone in two weeks. The more I’m with you, the more I want to be with you. Just you. I can’t even stand being near other girls because they aren’t you.”

I wanted to believe that. It was beautiful. But it was a lie.

“I know about your date tonight.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I figured. But did you know I canceled it this morning after I kissed you and dropped you off? I didn’t want it. I just wanted you.”

Oh.

He pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. “It’s just you, Vale. For the first time in my life I’m not looking. I found what was missing.”

My heart squeezed and I felt tears sting my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, so I buried my head in his shoulder and inhaled. I felt safe. But more than that I was happy. Complete. And he wasn’t Crawford.

“Are you crying?” he asked, his voice sounding amused.

I shook my head, thankful no tears had fallen, and then looked up at him. “No.”

He smiled down at me. “You’re so fucking gorgeous it’s distracting. Getting past all that and finding out you’re beautiful inside. That there’s this world you see through your eyes that I want to see. And I get to when I’m with you.”

“Thank you,” I said, emotion clogging my throat again.

“For the epic pleasure, or for being completely infatuated with you?” He was teasing me again.

“Both,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat up from his blunt descriptive words.

“In case you were wondering, you taste as good as you look,” he added, slipping a hand under my shirt, then down to cup my still-bare bottom.

Giggling, I buried my face in his neck again.

“God, you’re cute, too. I’m completely sunk.”

I was glad he was sunk. I didn’t want him going anywhere.

* * *

GOING TO SLEEP that night was hard. The smile on my face as I stared at the ceiling thinking about all he’d said and our good-night kiss felt right. Even with Everly coming in at two in the morning stumbling drunk and cursing at me, even though she thought I was sleeping. I hid my smile from her.

I wanted to tell Mae, but I hadn’t wanted to wake her up. She was already figuring out my feelings for Slate. That I wanted more than the friendship that I had claimed. Admitting this to her was going to be fun and make it seem real. I felt as if I were in a dream at times. Especially now with Slate.

CHAPTER THIRTY

SLATE WAS AT one of my tables watching football the next night when Knox walked in and went straight to him. I hurried and got the drink order out to the new table I had, then went directly to them. I hadn’t talked to Knox about things with me and Slate in a week. But with Slate missing the party last night to be with me and then sitting at one of my tables while I worked, it was obvious that things were different. We were a couple.

Slate was listening as Knox talked. The serious expression on my brother’s face made me get a little panicked. He didn’t need to step into my business. I knew what he thought of Slate. And I knew how wrong he was.

“Why are you here, Knox?” I asked, not even trying to hide my irritation.

“Talking to Slate is all” was his easy response. He was full of crap.

“Yeah, right. You planning on eating or you about done?” I asked him.

He held up a hand. “Calm down, sis. I’m just chatting with him.”

I hated it when he talked to me like I was a child. “And I’m asking why?”

He leaned back in his seat. “Because rumor has it y’all are in a relationship and I’ve never seen Slate in a relationship. It’s all you’ve ever known. I don’t want you hurt.”

I started to open my mouth when Slate beat me to it. “I’d never hurt her. I couldn’t. She means too much to me.”

Just like when he kissed me and when he said the sweet things to me last night, my knees felt weak and my heart did a pitter-patter thing.

Knox turned his attention to Slate. “Is that so?”

“Swear it,” Slate said with no question in his tone.

Knox looked back at me. “You want this? With him?” I knew what he was saying. He was asking me about Crawford. My entire life I’d been with Crawford. It was what my family expected. How did I explain this to him?

“Yes. People change. Life changes.”

Knox stared at me as he turned over my words. I knew he understood what I was telling him. Finally he nodded. “Fine. If this is what you want.”

“It is.”

“Then bring me twelve hot wings with a Coke.”

That was it. We were done. And he was staying to eat with Slate. Letting out a relieved sigh, I nodded and turned to get his order in and check on my other tables.

That was a confrontation I had dreaded, and I was glad it was over. I didn’t want to have to defend this thing with Slate to anyone. Especially my family.

A couple of the other waitresses noticed Slate not leaving my section and asked me about him. Some knew him and others wanted to. Mae kept looking at me knowingly as we passed and I knew I had to tell her. She was my friend.

When Knox parked himself beside Slate for the evening, Mae finally came over to me and put her hands on her hips and raised both her red eyebrows. “Well?”

“We’re dating. Exclusively,” I told her, not needing more than the “well” to know what she was talking about.

Her eyes went wide and she glanced back at him. “Slate Allen is exclusive? For real?”

“Yep.”

“Holy shit,” she muttered. “I thought maybe you were going to sleep with him tonight or something stupid like that.”

“We decided on the exclusive thing last night. It’s … we’re different.”

She let out a bark of laughter. “You’re telling me. Slate Allen doesn’t date exclusively. Y’all are definitely different.”

I nodded, unable not to grin.

“So that’s why Knox is here. I was worried we were going to have a fight over your virtue or something.”

“Just doing the annoying big-brother thing.”

“Charlie is going to be so bummed.”

I hadn’t talked to Charlie in a week. He knew I was interested in Slate. It had been hard to hide. We had actually discussed it when we had met up for lunch two weeks ago.