Anna Karenina - Part 5

Levin smiled. The picture of his wife not letting him go was so

pleasant that he was ready to renounce the delights of looking

upon bears forever.

"Still, it's a pity they should get those two bears without you.

Do you remember last time at Hapilovo? That was a delightful

hunt!" said Tchirikov.

Levin had not the heart to disillusion him of the notion that

there could be something delightful apart from her, and so said

nothing.

"There's some sense in this custom of saying good-bye to bachelor

life," said Sergey Ivanovitch. "However happy you may be, you

must regret your freedom."

"And confess there is a feeling that you want to jump out of the

window, like Gogol's bridegroom?"

"Of course there is, but it isn't confessed," said Katavasov, and

he broke into loud laughter.

"Oh, well, the window's open. Let's start off this instant to

Tver! There's a big she-bear; one can go right up to the lair.

Seriously, let's go by the five o'clock! And here let them do

what they like," said Tchirikov, smiling.

"Well, now, on my honor," said Levin, smiling, "I can't find in

my heart that feeling of regret for my freedom."

"Yes, there's such a chaos in your heart just now that you can't

find anything there," said Katavasov. "Wait a bit, when you set

it to rights a little, you'll find it!"

"No; if so, I should have felt a little, apart from my feeling"

(he could not say love before them) "and happiness, a certain

regret at losing my freedom.... On the contrary, I am glad at

the very loss of my freedom."

"Awful! It's a hopeless case!" said Katavasov. "Well, let's

drink to his recovery, or wish that a hundredth part of his

dreams may be realized--and that would be happiness such as never

has been seen on earth!"

Soon after dinner the guests went away to be in time to be

dressed for the wedding.

When he was left alone, and recalled the conversation of these

bachelor friends, Levin asked himself: had he in his heart that

regret for his freedom of which they had spoken? He smiled at

the question. "Freedom! What is freedom for? Happiness is only

in loving and wishing her wishes, thinking her thoughts, that is

to say, not freedom at all--that's happiness!"

"But do I know her ideas, her wishes, her feelings?" some voice

suddenly whispered to him. The smile died away from his face,

and he grew thoughtful. And suddenly a strange feeling came upon

him. There came over him a dread and doubt--doubt of everything.