Anna Karenina - Part 5

"This coldness--this pretense of feeling!" she said to herself.

"They must needs insult me and torture the child, and I am to

submit to it! Not on any consideration! She is worse than I am.

I don't lie, anyway." And she decided on the spot that next day,

Seryozha's birthday, she would go straight to her husband's

house, bribe or deceive the servants, but at any cost see her son

and overturn the hideous deception with which they were

encompassing the unhappy child.

She went to a toy shop, bought toys and thought over a plan of

action. She would go early in the morning at eight o'clock, when

Alexey Alexandrovitch would be certain not to be up. She would

have money in her hand to give the hall porter and the footman,

so that they should let her in, and not raising her veil, she

would say that she had come from Seryozha's godfather to

congratulate him, and that she had been charged to leave the toys

at his bedside. She had prepared everything but the words she

should say to her son. Often as she had dreamed of it, she could

never think of anything.

The next day, at eight o'clock in the morning, Anna got out of a

hired sledge and rang at the front entrance of her former home.

"Run and see what's wanted. Some lady," said Kapitonitch, who,

not yet dressed, in his overcoat and galoshes, had peeped out of

the window and seen a lady in a veil standing close up to the

door. His assistant, a lad Anna did not know, had no sooner

opened the door to her than she came in, and pulling a

three-rouble note out of her muff put it hurriedly into his hand.

"Seryozha--Sergey Alexeitch," she said, and was going on.

Scrutinizing the note, the porter's assistant stopped her at the

second glass door.

"Whom do you want?" he asked.

She did not hear his words and made no answer.

Noticing the embarrassment of the unknown lady, Kapitonitch went

out to her, opened the second door for her, and asked her what

she was pleased to want.

"From Prince Skorodumov for Sergey Alexeitch," she said.

"His honor's not up yet," said the porter, looking at her

attentively.

Anna had not anticipated that the absolutely unchanged hall of

the house where she had lived for nine years would so greatly

affect her. Memories sweet and painful rose one after another in

her heart, and for a moment she forgot what she was here for.