Anna Karenina - Part 2

Varenka shook her head and laid her hand on Kitty's hand.

"Why, what is there shameful?" she said. "You didn't tell a man,

who didn't care for you, that you loved him, did you?"

"Of course not; I never said a word, but he knew it. No, no,

there are looks, there are ways; I can't forget it, if I live a

hundred years."

"Why so? I don't understand. The whole point is whether you

love him now or not," said Varenka, who called everything by its

name.

"I hate him; I can't forgive myself."

"Why, what for?"

"The shame, the humiliation!"

"Oh! if everyone were as sensitive as you are!" said Varenka.

"There isn't a girl who hasn't been through the same. And it's

all so unimportant."

"Why, what is important?" said Kitty, looking into her face with

inquisitive wonder.

"Oh, there's so much that's important," said Varenka, smiling.

"Why, what?"

"Oh, so much that's more important," answered Varenka, not

knowing what to say. But at that instant they heard the

princess's voice from the window. "Kitty, it's cold! Either get

a shawl, or come indoors."

"It really is time to go in!" said Varenka, getting up. "I have

to go on to Madame Berthe's; she asked me to."

Kitty held her by the hand, and with passionate curiosity and

entreaty her eyes asked her: "What is it, what is this of such

importance that gives you such tranquillity? You know, tell me!"

But Varenka did not even know what Kitty's eyes were asking her.

She merely thought that she had to go to see Madame Berthe too

that evening, and to make haste home in time for _maman's_ tea at

twelve o'clock. She went indoors, collected her music, and

saying good-bye to everyone, was about to go.

"Allow me to see you home," said the colonel.

"Yes, how can you go alone at night like this?" chimed in the

princess. "Anyway, I'll send Parasha."

Kitty saw that Varenka could hardly restrain a smile at the idea

that she needed an escort.

"No, I always go about alone and nothing ever happens to me," she

said, taking her hat. And kissing Kitty once more, without

saying what was important, she stepped out courageously with the

music under her arm and vanished into the twilight of the summer

night, bearing away with her her secret of what was important and

what gave her the calm and dignity so much to be envied.