Andrew the Glad

"Child, Matilda has had a heart trap ready for you ever since you were

born, in case she sighted you in the open. It's baited with a silver

rattle, doll babies, sugar plums, the ashes of twenty years' roses, the

fragrance of every violet she has seen, and lately an aggregation of

every eligible masculine heart in this part of the country has been

added. She caught you fair--walk in and help yourself; it's all yours!"