And You Will Find Love

Was she unfair to Stephen, then? No, she did not think so. She was simply opposed to boxing, and it blew her mind when she saw Tim engaged in it. Stephen was coaching him. It was only natural for her wrath to be directed at him.

"I'm adamant on the subject," she said as if concluding their discussion. "If Tim is to remain at Glenview, and I'm no longer sure he should or will, he is never to put on boxing gloves again. I'm sure there are other sports or activities that he can engage in that will teach him to defend himself. Don't our allies the Chinese have less confrontational techniques? I don't mean the Japanese karate or other contact sports that are as brutal as boxing."

"Tai chi and tai kwando," Stephen said. "Yes, I know of them. I could substitute one of them for boxing, for Tim.

I can do it without him knowing you asked for it."

For that much, she thanked him. Silently, she thought, Oh God, Stephen, why do you infuriate me so much, and yet I like you so much? You think I should give up adopting Tim without a fight, and now you think it's good for him to learn how to beat up other boys, and be beaten up himself. But I'll fight to keep him no matter what you think, and I'll keep him from becoming a vegetable like Buck Genda. But am I playing fair with Stephen, not explaining more? She decided at least to explain about her friend back in Mohave, and how he came to lose touch with the wife he loved and with the rest of the world.

Afterward, Stephen thought he understood better. "Thank you for explaining about your friend. I agree with you totally that boxing was very brutal in his case. But I have to be honest with you and myself... I am confident that boxing in the way it is taught at Glenview would not be harmful to Tim."

"If it would not be physically harmful, it might still be emotionally harmful," Barbara countered. "I repeat, I did not like the look in his eyes when he was punching that other boy."

Stephen hoped to put her at ease by reaching a mutual agreement. "I think we've already agreed on no more boxing for Tim, and I can substitute an Eastern form of self-defense that is non-confrontational."

"Then he can stay."

He looked at her and she at him. Oh, God, why are you so handsome? she agonized.Why do I feel so drawn to you, and yet we disagree on such fundamentals? I can't give Timmy up. I won't! You're wrong, Stephen Collier. You're wrong in your beautiful head. Wrong! You're wrong about boxing, Stephen thought but did not say, searching her beautiful face for answers to why he liked her so much but they seemed to be at odds all the time. And you may be wrong about putting Tim through a custody battle that already is in the newspapers. I just feel it's not right to put him through a tug of war. But despite all that, I like and admire you, Barbara Markey. I just wish I understood you better, and you understood me. "I'm going away," she told him. "Joining a women's air squadron that will fly planes from factories to airfields across the country. Male pilots will then fly them to battle zones around the world. I won't be flying overseas myself. It won't be allowed. After all, we're just women."