An Ambitious Man

"My father, I am told, married into a family whose crest is traced

back to the tenth century. I carry a coat-of-arms older yet--the

Cross; it dates back eighteen hundred years--yes, many thousand

years, and so I feel myself the nobler of the two. Had you been more

of a disciple of Christ, and less of a disciple of man, you would

have realised this truth long ago, as I realise it to-day. No man

should dare stand before his fellows as a revealer of divine

knowledge until he has penetrated the inmost recesses of his own

soul, and found God's holy image there; and until he can show others

the way to the same wonderful discovery. The God you worshipped was

far away in the heavens, so far that he could not come to you and

save you from your baser self in the hour of temptation. But the

true God has been miraculously revealed to me. He dwells within; one

who has found Him, will never debase His temple.

"Though there is no legal obstacle now in the path to our union,

there is a spiritual one which is insurmountable. I NO LONGER LOVE

YOU. I am sorry for you, but that is all. You belonged to my

yesterday--you can have no part in my to-day. The man who tempted me

in my weak hour to go lower, could not help me to go higher. And my

face is set toward the heights.

"I must prove to that world that a child born under the shadow of

shame, and of two weak, uncontrolled parents, can be virtuous,

strong, brave and sensible. That she can conquer passion and

impulse, by the use of her divine inheritance of will; and that she

can compel the respect of the public by her discreet life and lofty

ideals.

"I shall stay in this place until I have vindicated my name and

character from every aspersion cast upon them. I shall retain my

position of organist, and retain it until I have accumulated

sufficient means to go abroad and prepare myself for the musical

career in which I know I can excel. I am young, strong and

ambitious. My unusual sorrows will give me greater power of

character if I accept them as spiritual tonics--bitter but

strengthening.

"Farewell, and may God be with you.

"Joy Irving."

When the rector of St Blank's returned from the Beryngford Cemetery,

where he had placed the body of his wife beside her father, he found

this letter lying on his table in the hotel.