Agent in the Dark

"Our babies dead John."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to rant and rave and be crazy. I wanted to hack the Earth in two with my sword. I wanted to rail against heaven's door and smash it down. But what good would any of that do? It wouldn't help bring back my baby's life. It wouldn't help me to care for Asia in her grief.

My sword slipped from my grasp to fall clattering loudly onto the floor. I fell to my knees beside the bed and I buried my head into the covers, as I cried in sorrow so deep I thought it would swallow me whole. My wondering hand found Asia's cold fingers and I grasped them tightly, but she had no comfort to give. Both of us were depleted of strength and hope, as the day is after the sun has gone down.

The next day we buried him on a rocky promontory with a good view out over the ocean. After I had stacked the last rock into place I took my sword and jammed it down into the unbroken soil at the head of the tiny grave.

I picked up my hammer and swung it down onto the pommel of the blade's handle driving the sword through both rock and dirt, until it was solidly planted in the Earth. It was a good sword. A sword that a boy would've proudly inherited from a father and I gladly gave it up now.

I pulled a copperplate out from my coat and hammered the copper clasps over the cross guards of the sword. Asia looked up from where she kneeled beside the grave. I caught her glancing towards the name plate affixed to the sword.

"I thought he should have a name." I said by way of explanation.

She nodded and I sank to my knees beside her. Her hand found mine and we stayed there, until I made her leave, because it was too cold for her.

It was a hard month. I came to terms with my loss, but Asia took it harder. She still worked on the Code, but there were times, when I caught her just staring at her screens for hours on end. It was a struggle to get her to eat right and in some ways I was a little rough with her.

She didn't have much to do with me, as she seemed to be withdrawn into herself. I gave her as much space as I could, but I longed and prayed for the day when she would come back to me.

My eyes opened and adjusted to the moonlight that was streaming through the narrow windows. I saw that Asia was awake facing me. It must've been her stare that had woken me.