Agent for a Cause

I picked up another syringe, "Meningococcal meningitis, I'm told this is a fun one! This will bring back all those good college memories of yours I'll bet. Now this one I have to admit, is entirely unnecessary, considering you're a boy and not a girl, but in the spirit of discovery let's see what it does to boys, because that's what's being done anyway in Texas. It's good for the girls because it targets cervical cancer so why not give it to boys to prevent……do boys have cervixes anyway? No matter let's give it to them anyway, maybe it'll cure facial acne. You know, which vaccine I'm referring to don't you. I'm not sure I understand the theory behind this one. There's too much illicit teen sex going on in our schools and girls are getting infected with diseases like gonorrhea and others leading to cervical cancer. Who knew simple cause-and-effect wouldn't you say? So the government thought up a brilliant idea. Let's create a vaccine that will keep the girls disease-free and allow them to have all the unprotected underage sex their little bodies can stand. After all we wouldn't want to curb their right to free self-expression now would we? Disease problem all taken care of. It's going to work so well that were going to mandate that all the girls in the public school system have to receive it. Even those girls whose parents have instilled enough of a moral structure in their child for the girl to decide for herself, 'You know what I'm going to respect my body and save it for the man that will win my heart and gain my parents approval and put two rings on my finger and pledge himself to me for forever.' The government's response, 'Oh we're sorry, but it's a one-size-fits-all policy and we don't care what your moral objection may be. You wouldn't want everyone taking the vaccine to feel prejudiced against; because you're not taking it would you?' Stupid idea right? Well, they thought it was a good one, so they didn't bother to wait for long-term study results, but instead rushed the vaccine into immediate implementation. I bet you made a lot of money on that one. Didn't work out so well for the girls though did it? What's the death total up to now? I'm thinking several hundred sounds like a conservative guess. Well at least that's a few hundred girls, who won't be giving birth to anyone right. Oh and if you were worried about your ability to father a child don't be. I already took care of that problem for you with that smallpox shot I gave you a couple shots back. You know the one they give those kids in Africa to ensure that their the last little kids to ever roam their village. You can have all the unprotected sex you want with your mistresses and coworker's wives without any fear of little juniors now. That is of course if you can still manage to get your unit pumped up. Ahhh at last we've reached the end! Last but not least we have the flu shot. It's not the regular dosage of course because I know a dutiful CEO like you wants to know what the double potency shot you're giving the old folks feels like. I have to ask, John, are you trying to get rid of the old folks sooner rather than later?"