After the Storm

"Fifteen years have passed since the day we parted, and each has

remained single. If we had not separated, we might now be living in

a true heart-union; for I believe, strange as it may sound to you,

that we were made for each other--that, when the false and evil of

our lives are put off, the elements of conjunction will appear. We

have made for ourselves of this world a dreary waste, when, if we

had overcome the evil of our hearts, our paths would have been

through green and fragrant places. It may be happier for us in the

next; and it will be. I am a better man, I think, for the discipline

through which I have passed, and she is a better woman."

Mr. Emerson paused.

"She? Have you seen her?" the lady asked.

"Twice since we parted, and then only for a moment. Suddenly each

time we met, and looked into each other's eyes for a single instant;

then, as if a curtain had dropped suddenly between us, we were

separated. But the impression of her face remained as vivid and

permanent as a sun-picture. She lives, for most of her time,

secluded at Ivy Cliff, her home on the Hudson; and her life is

passed there, I hear, in doing good. And, if good deeds, from right

ends, write their history on the human face, then her countenance

bears the record of tenderest charities. It was pale when I last saw

it--pale, but spiritual--I can use no other word; and I felt a

sudden panic at the thought that she was growing into a life so pure

and heavenly that I must stand afar off as unworthy. It had

sometimes come into my thought that we were approaching each other,

as both put off, more and more, the evil which had driven us apart

and held us so long asunder. But this illusion our last brief

meeting dispelled. She has passed me on the road of self-discipline

and self-abnegation, and is journeying far ahead. And now I can but

follow through life at a distance.

"So much, and no more, my friend. I drop the veil over my heart. You

will understand me better hereafter. I shall not marry. That legal

divorce is invalid. I could not perjure my soul by vows of fidelity

toward another. Patiently and earnestly will I do my allotted work

here. My better hopes lie all in the heavenly future.

"And now, my friend, we will understand each other better. You have

looked deeper into my thoughts and experiences than any other human

being. Let the revelation be sacred to yourself. The knowledge you

possess may enable you to do me justice sometimes, and sometimes to

save me from an intrusion of themes that cannot but touch me

unpleasantly. There was a charm about Mrs. Eager that, striking me

suddenly, for a little while bewildered my fancy. She is a woman of

rare endowments, and I do not regret the introduction and passing

influence she exercised over me. It was a dream from which the

awakening was certain. Suddenly the illusion vanished, as I saw her

beside my lost Irene. The one was of the earth, earthy--the other

of heaven, heavenly; and as I looked back into her brilliant face,

radiant with thought and feeling, I felt a low, creeping shudder, as

if just freed from the spell of a siren. I cannot be enthralled

again, even for a moment."