After the Game
Page 37* * *
My phone lit up at midnight, and the only reason I noticed was because I hadn’t been able to sleep worrying about Brady.
Can you come outside?
Finally. A text from him. The fact that it was at midnight would annoy me if I weren’t so relieved. It hadn’t been a good day for him. That I already knew without talking to him.
I got out of bed and tucked the pillows around Bryony’s little body so she wouldn’t miss my warmth. Then I slipped on my flip-flops and went quietly down the hall and out of the house.
Brady’s truck was parked with his lights off in the driveway. It was cold, and I was wishing I’d grabbed a jacket. Hurrying, I ran out to his truck and climbed inside, glad to find it warm from the heater he’d been running.
“Hey,” I said as I shivered.
“Sorry it’s so late,” he replied. His voice sounded hollow. Much like a little boy who had lost his favorite action figure.
“I wasn’t asleep.”
He turned to me. “I helped Mom pack Boone’s things up today. We put them outside by the garage for him to pick up. His clothes, boots, shaving supplies, the tie I gave him for Christmas when I was ten years old, the book about great dads I gave him for Father’s Day when I was thirteen, all of it. Every memory was packed up and taken out of the house. Maggie took down all the family photos he was in and packed them away. I had her put them up in the attic space left in my room. It was a quiet day. We didn’t talk much. Just cleared Boone’s stuff out like he was dead. In a way he is. The man I knew is gone. In his place is this impostor that I hate.”
I thought about how I would feel if that were my dad. If he’d hurt my mother like that. And me. Would I be able to pack him away and send him off? My chest hurt just thinking about it. Even if he did something that horrible I’d love him. I didn’t think he could do something to make me hate him like that. Maybe I was wrong.
“She’s cried a lot today. She tried to hide it, but she would walk away and close herself off in the bathroom. I could hear her crying. I wanted to put my fist through a wall at the sound of her sobs. Knowing the man she trusted and loved did that to her.”
“How are you?” I asked him. He’d told me about his mother, but he hadn’t said how he was feeling.
“Broken. Different. He changed me. He changed us all.”
I slid over to sit beside him, and this time it was my hand that covered his. “Tonight at dinner we were talking about how things were changing for me here. Mom said with age we change. There is more to come. This isn’t a good change or an easy one, but it’s part of your life, and you control how it affects you. Your father can’t control you.”
He flipped his hand over, and his fingers threaded through mine. We sat there, me looking at him and him looking straight ahead out the window, lost in his thoughts. I wondered how Maggie was handling this, but it didn’t seem appropriate to ask that. Not now.
“I don’t want to go home. It hurts too much. But I can’t stay away because they need me there. With Boone gone, I’m the man now. That’s a responsibility I wasn’t ready for either.”
Something else I understood all too well. When Bryony was placed in my arms, I was an adult suddenly. Life turned and I was terrified.
“Those things that terrify us can make us stronger and become something beautiful. When I had Bryony, I was more scared than I’d ever been. She was a living, breathing human and I was in charge of her life. Keeping her alive, taking care of her. In a second my world turned on its axis, and I thought I’d never make it. I would fail. But I didn’t. And I wouldn’t give her up for the world. The person she made me is strong, brave, and I love who I have become.”
He squeezed my hand. “Thank you. I forget when I’m in that house that I’m not the only person on earth to go through something so difficult. I think it’s all on me. No one’s done it before. But you did something much harder. My mom is an adult and Maggie is seventeen. Taking care of them is nothing like being handed a baby to protect.” He paused and looked at me. “If this makes me half the person you are, I’ll be thankful. The hate I have may actually fade to disappointment. I want your strength.”
He was stronger than he realized. We all were. When faced with something like this, we found the strength inside us that we hadn’t needed to use before. It was being brave enough to use it that made the difference. Finding an easy escape or running from it didn’t make it go away. Facing it head on, knowing you could withstand it and overcome it, was what made you tough enough to live life.
We Can Survive This
CHAPTER 48
The rest of my weekend I spent taking care of my mom and helping her any way I could during the day. Once I was sure she was asleep at night, I would go to Riley’s and we would sit in my truck for hours and talk. Sometimes we would just sit in silence. We didn’t need to talk. Just being there with her made it better. She reminded me I was strong enough for this. A fairy-tale life wasn’t real for anyone. We all faced something hard.
Monday I didn’t want to leave Mom and go to school, but she made me. She said my staying home wasn’t good for us. We had to learn to live life regularly again. Seeing her red eyes from crying sliced through me every time I looked at her. It also made the hate I felt for Boone grow.
No one at school knew what was happening. I didn’t want to talk about it. Soon enough the entire town would know. Luckily no one was talking about my fight on the field with Boone. They all were talking about the last play of the game and Riley Young being my date. And, of course, our kiss.
That helped keep my mind off things. But in class, when it was quiet, my thoughts went to my mom and I worried about her. It was just after lunch when Maggie found me in the hall.
“I can’t stop worrying about Aunt Coralee. I’m checking out and going to the house. I wanted you to know so that you could stop worrying too. You need to stay here for practice, but I don’t. I can miss some classes.”
Mom would argue with her that she shouldn’t have left school, but I didn’t tell her that because I wanted her to go. I didn’t want Mom alone.
“Yeah. That would be good,” I agreed.
Maggie nodded. “West is letting me take his truck. Give him a ride after practice. He may forget he’s without a vehicle.”
“I’ll take care of him. You go be with Mom.”
The look she gave me was a mirror of my own thoughts. We loved her. Watching this was hard for Maggie, too. She’d just found happiness and security, then this happened. I had to remember that Maggie was dealing with this just as much as I was. Possibly more. She’d been through a living hell much worse than this.
“Hey,” I said to her as she started to leave. She turned to look back at me. “If you need to talk. Or anything. I’m here. Always.”
She was right. We could.
* * *
Practice was grueling. The last play of the game may have been a success, but the fact that we’d had to pull off a miracle to win meant we hadn’t played the game like champions. Coach drilled that into our heads a million times in the two hours we were on the field today. There wasn’t a part of my body that didn’t ache.
Mom would have dinner ready, and going home to eat with her and Maggie was important right now. Problem was I really wanted to see Riley. She was what kept me sane in all this.
I picked up the phone and called Mom.
“Hello.” Her voice wasn’t the usual cheerful tone I was used to.
“Hey, Mom, how are you?”
She sighed. “Good. Maggie and I cleaned house today, made cookies, and are finishing up supper. Are you coming home or going to Riley’s?”
Maggie had been with her all day. It was my turn to take over and give her a break. I couldn’t expect Maggie to take care of my mother all the time, just because this was hard on me.