Affliction

19

'Mom, Ty, what is going on?'

Ty stood there straight and tall with an almost defiant look on his face. Bea clung to his hand and looked beseechingly at her son. 'It just sort of happened,' she said.

'Frost isn't Ty's, is she?' he asked.

'She is my daughter,' Ty said, 'but biologically probably not.'

'What do you mean, biologically?' he asked.

'Mike, please, don't be mad. I thought you'd be better than Jerry about it, because you have two people, too.' Her voice sounded apologetic and not sure of itself at all.

The doorbell sounded. Bea went for the door, as if happy to have an excuse to be away from Micah. Bram shadowed her to the door without anyone telling him to; you never left a door totally unguarded, especially if it was about to open. Micah was still trying to deal with the last few minutes. His father hadn't been the heartbroken abandoned spouse but had been at least sleeping with his ex-wife part time. There was an implication of much more.

Nathaniel and I had moved up beside Micah, but I honestly wasn't sure what to say. The look on his face said that part of his family history had just imploded. Nathaniel touched his arm. Micah didn't seem to notice.

It was Jerry at the door. 'You guys never lock the door until bedtime. What's up?'

'I didn't lock it,' Bea said.

'We did,' Bram said.

Jerry looked up at the taller man. 'Why?'

'A locked door gives us a few more seconds to react,' Bram said.

'React to what?' Jerry asked.

'Anything.'

Jerry shook his head and looked past everyone to Micah, who was looking at his brother now. 'The look on your face; you met Frost?'

'Yes,' Micah said in a voice that was almost strangled with tension.

'Surprise!' Jerry said, arms wide in a ta-da motion.

'You could have warned me.'

Jerry shook his head. 'Oh, no, wouldn't dream of it. This isn't my explanation to give, I wouldn't even try.'

'Be nice, Jerry,' Bea said.

'Why? I didn't know until Frost was three. I can't believe I was so stupid.'

'Jerry ...' Bea began.

'No, Mom, just explain to Mike. I'm still working my own issues on this one.' He moved until he was in front of Micah. 'We both felt so sorry for Dad, remember. We were so mad at Mom for leaving him for the professor here, and all the time they were still seeing each other, still a couple.'

'That's not true,' Bea said. 'At first it was everything you thought it was. I loved Rush, but I couldn't live with him anymore. I met Ty while we were separated. Rush could have dated, too, but he chose not to.'

'He was waiting for you to come to your senses and come home, or let him come back home,' Micah said, and that edge of old resentment was suddenly very clear in his voice. Some issues stay fresh every time you open them up. It's like evil magical Tupperware - it stays fresh forever.

'You are thirty years old, Micah David Callahan, too old to believe I can fix something that broke when you were twelve.'

Micah looked a little embarrassed but said, 'So did you cheat on Ty with Dad, or what?'

She looked back at Ty, and he moved up to take her hand again. 'She never stopped loving Rush, and by the time you left for good he was spending more time over here with us and the boys.'

'I remember Twain's fourth birthday party. I was so proud of all of you for being grown-up enough to give the younger kids such a family occasion.'

'Yeah,' Jerry said, 'but what you and I didn't know was that Dad was sleeping over.'

'That long ago?' Micah asked.

Jerry nodded.

'You want to tell this story?' Bea asked Jerry.

'Nope,' he said, and flopped down on the nearest couch.

'Then stop interrupting,' she said.

He spread his hands wide, as if to say, Sure, go ahead, I'm out of it.

She turned back to Micah and the rest of us. 'I didn't think I'd have quite this big an audience for the story.'

Bram said, 'We can wait in the kitchen if you like.'

'Thank you,' she said.

He and Ares went for the bar stools around the kitchen. Nicky and Dev looked at me. I nodded, and they went to join them. I didn't have the heart to tell Bea that with their more-than-human senses they'd hear everything she said anyway. Sometimes illusion is all the comfort you get for stories like this.

We all sat down on the nearly perfect square of couches. Ty and Bea were on one couch. The three of us sat on the couch opposite them. Jerry moved to the love seat that sat between them both. When we looked at him, he said, 'I want to see everyone's faces.'

'Jerry, this is not a show for your entertainment,' Ty said.

'I just want to see one of my siblings learn about all of this the way I did, that's all.'

'Beth knew sooner?' Micah asked.

'She was only twelve ten years ago. She lived with Mom. When I asked her after I found out why she hadn't told me, do you know what she said?'

'No,' Micah said.

'She liked having Dad here in the mornings and everyone having coffee together. She said it felt like home. You and I lost everything we thought was safe, but little sister got a second bite at the apple.'

'I don't resent Beth and Dad being happy,' Micah said.

'I do,' Jerry said, 'because I was still on his side about the divorce, and all the time they were shacking up. He let me be all sympathetic and it was all a lie.'

'It wasn't a lie,' Ty said.

'Well, it wasn't the truth either,' Jerry said.

Ty didn't have an answer for that.

Bea tried. 'You have Anita and Nathaniel in your life, and I have Ty and Rush in mine.'

'I only have one wife, not two,' Jerry said.

'You barely have enough social skills for one,' Beth said, as she walked in from the hallway. She looked at Bea. 'I've got Twain reading the kids a story.'

'Good,' Bea said.

Beth sat down on the love seat beside Jerry, and though she wouldn't have said it out loud the way he had, I was betting she wanted a good view, too.

Micah laid a hand on both our thighs and we automatically covered his hands with ours. 'Yes, they are both in my life,' he said, 'but it was that way from the moment I met them. We've always been a threesome, sometimes more.' I wasn't sure if he added that last bit of truth to shock, because two of the extra people were listening, or so that later no one could accuse him of leaving stuff out. It didn't matter; they ignored it. Maybe they felt that explaining themselves was enough for one day. I was all for waiting to try to explain the entirety of our love lives. I wasn't ashamed of what we were doing, but it was a lot to explain. One long story at a time; we still had to get dinner before heading back to the hospital. We'd save our romantic epic for another night.

'I loved Rush, but we couldn't live together. I fell in love with Ty, but I missed Rush.' She wrapped both her smaller hands around his one larger hand and smiled up at him. It was a look of love, but I thought it might have been more a reassurance to the man at her side. Maybe that was just me overthinking.

Bea looked at me and said, 'I know you understand what I'm talking about.'

What I wanted to say was, Don't drag me into this, but Micah squeezed my hand, which let me know not to say the first thing that came to mind. Prospective in-laws needed gentler handling than my usual. 'It wasn't exactly like that with Micah and Nathaniel.' In my head, I thought that was more like Jean-Claude and Richard, back when the latter was more in our lives, but since that hadn't worked out well, I kept my mouth shut again.

'I told you that Nathaniel and I came together with Anita at almost the same time. She knew Nathaniel before me, but they weren't a couple.'

Nathaniel leaned into Micah, smiling. 'I think if Micah hadn't come along, Anita and I would never have been a couple.'

'Why not?' Bea asked.

He glanced past Micah at me. I just gave him raised eyebrows, because I had no idea what he was going to say. He smiled wider. 'We work as a threesome. I'm not sure either of us would work with Anita as a regular couple.'

'That's it exactly,' Bea said, and she sounded relieved. 'Rush and I alone weren't enough for each other, but with Ty' - she shrugged and gazed up at him - 'we were.'

'And you were okay with that?' Jerry asked.

Ty looked at him. 'Bea and I were beginning to have problems, and I knew we loved each other, but something was missing.' He turned back to look at Bea, and his face glowed, the picture of a man who was still dead-gone on his wife. 'Rush helped us find that missing piece.'

Micah's hand tensed in mine, and I glanced at him. He looked stricken, or shocked. I wanted to ask what was wrong but couldn't in front of the parents. But Micah saved me the trouble, because he said it out loud. 'I understand that.' He turned and looked at Nathaniel, and whatever look was on his face made Nathaniel glow. I smiled at them both, my two men.

'Oh, for the love of God,' Jerry said.

We all looked at him. 'What's got your panties in a twist?' I asked.

'You guys are all looking at each other in the same damned way. It's the way Dad ... it's, fuck.'

'Jerry,' Bea said, 'we don't use words like that.'

'The kids aren't here to hear me,' Jerry said, arms crossed across his chest, as he slumped lower into the couch.

'I think it's great,' Beth said. She was smiling at everybody.

'I wanted at least one person in the family who I give a damn about to be pissed like me.'

'You've got plenty of people in the family pissed, as you say,' Bea said, and her face looked suddenly older, strained.

Jerry sat up and reached out, as if to reach past Ty and touch his mother, but he let his hand fall back. 'I didn't mean that, Mom; I would never be as stupid as all of them are being.'

Bea said, 'You've met everybody from Rush's and my family who are coming to the hospital now. His parents will come, but only if Ty isn't there. They'll tolerate me, but not him.'

'What did Grandpa and Grandma get upset about now?' Micah asked.

'Until Rush got hurt, they could do a sort of "don't ask, don't tell" about our ... domestic arrangement, but we couldn't hide how upset we both were.'

'Have they met Frost?' Micah asked.

She nodded.

'Then they didn't want to know,' he said.

'Probably, but we also had to come back to this house to get Rush's things ... he lives here. He still owns the cabin, but he hasn't really lived there for almost six years.'

I shifted beside him.

Bea said, 'What is it, Anita? Talk to us, tell us what you think, please.'

I glanced at Micah, and he nodded, then shrugged. We were too far into places he hadn't expected to be able to guide me, I think.

'I think that if they didn't know their son was living here for six years when they live in town - They live in town, right?'

'Yes,' she said.

'Then they've been ignoring the elephant in the room for a long time. I don't think knowing his address would have made them look at the truth.'

Ty, Bea, and Beth exchanged a look.

Jerry sat up straighter. 'What happened?'

Ty answered, 'Your grandfather saw me holding Rush's hand and crying.'

Jerry frowned. 'So?'

'You did more than just hold his hand,' Micah said, and there was no condemnation in his voice, no anger. It was actually the calmest he'd sounded in the last few hours.

Ty nodded and wouldn't meet his eyes.

'It's okay,' Micah said. 'We understand.'

'I don't,' Jerry said.

Beth said, 'Just leave it, Jerry.'

'No,' he said, sitting on the very edge of the love seat and looking from his mom and Ty to Micah.

'Ty,' Micah said.

The other man looked at him.

Micah raised Nathaniel's hand in his and laid a gentle kiss on the back of the other man's hand.

Ty's eyes were shiny with unshed tears as he nodded. 'How did you know?'

'Because it was either that, or you kissed him - kissed him, and Grandpa saw you.'

'Have they disowned their son?' I asked.

Bea shook her head. 'No, they seem to think that Ty is the evil influence. If-' She stopped herself, took a shaky breath, and said, 'When Rush gets better I think they'll either give him a chance to move out of the house or kick Ty out.'

'He won't do that,' Beth said.

'No, he won't,' her mother said.

Micah turned to Nathaniel and me. 'My grandparents aren't as crazy religious as Aunt Bertie, but they are very serious about certain things. They finally accepted me as a shapeshifter because I couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't a choice. If I had chosen to become a monster, they would have disowned me.'

'Rush is their son,' Bea said, 'and he feels like he's outside God's grace now. He loves living here with all of us, but he still believes a lot of what he was raised to believe. It's really hurt him to love us all here.'

'It's made him happier than I've ever seen him, Mom,' Beth said. She got up and went to sit on the other side of her mother so that she and Ty each comforted Bea.

'That's true enough,' Jerry said. 'I've never seen Dad this happy.'

'He wasn't just keeping his home address at the cabin to get around his parents,' Ty said. 'It's also because as sheriff he has to live in the town to serve.'

I nodded. 'Yeah, if he lives in Boulder then he can't be sheriff.'

'No,' Ty said.

'He loves his job,' Jerry said.

'If the worst thing we have to worry about is that he has to change where he's protecting and serving, we'll be doing okay,' I said.

Bea nodded. 'You are so right, Anita, so right.'

'Do the other kids know?' Micah asked.

'We had to sit down with Twain and explain why we all use the same room at night,' Ty said.

'He asked outright?' Micah said.

They nodded.

'You haven't met him yet,' Beth said. 'He's a very serious kid and he'll ask anything if he wants to know. He's like a walking social disaster.'

'He was a serious kid even at four when I saw him last.'

'Hawthorne knows we have one bedroom, but he won't ask outright. He'll just accept it and not ask any questions that he doesn't want to know the answer to,' Ty said.

'Were you all a couple back when Hawthorne and Twain were little?' Micah asked.

'We'd started working on that by the time Twain was four,' Ty said.

'So, while I was still around?'

'Yes,' Ty said.

Micah looked at Jerry. 'We both missed it.'

'Yeah, but at least you've been gone for ten years. This was all happening under my nose.'

'The divorce kept you pretty occupied, big brother,' Beth said.

Micah's hand tensed in mine. I think it was her calling him big brother. I wondered if that was a nickname she'd only used for him once? 'I'm sorry that you and Kelsey didn't work out.'

'You never liked her,' Jerry said.

'I wouldn't say never, but by the time you were in college, no. I didn't like her.'

'Why didn't you like her?' he asked.

'It's old news,' Micah said, 'and you divorced her, so it doesn't matter.'

Jerry looked down at his clasped hands, let out a long breath, and asked, 'Did she try to sleep with you?'

Micah's hand tensed in mine again, though nothing else showed his sudden tension. 'It was a long time ago.'

Jerry shook his head. 'Why didn't you tell me, Mike?'

'You were in love with her, and I didn't think she'd approach anyone else. She was a little drunk and it happens.'

'No,' Jerry said, 'even a little drunk, your fiancee does not proposition your brother.'

'I agree with Jerry,' I said.

'You asked me like I wasn't the only one she tried to sleep with; I honestly thought that she wouldn't try for anyone else.'

'Why?' Jerry asked.

Micah hesitated. 'She had a particular ... interest, um ...'

'Fetish, you mean,' Jerry said.

Micah nodded. 'Yes.'

Nathaniel and I must have looked puzzled, because Jerry said, 'Everyone else knows that Kelsey was a fur-fucker, beastlover, whatever.'

'She approached you after you became a wereleopard?' I said.

Micah nodded. 'I honestly thought it was just a onetime fantasy and when I said no, she'd let it go.'

'Nope,' Jerry said, 'she's actually living with the local werewolf pack and getting all the furry attention she wants.'

'I'm sorry, little brother,' Micah said.

Jerry nodded, staring at his hands. 'I can't compete with ... you know how it is better than I do. Kelsey said no human man could compare.'

'I'm surprised she didn't ask you to join the team,' I said.

'She did, but by that time I knew that even if I were a shapeshifter my attentions would never be enough. There's something broken inside her that isn't fixable.'

'I'm sorry,' Nathaniel said.

Jerry looked at him and at him holding hands with both of us. 'It really bothered me when I found out that Dad was a "couple" with Mom and Ty. I didn't like the idea of my dad sharing a bed with another man.'

'Jerry,' Bea said, as if he'd said something rude.

'Are you ashamed of it?' he asked.

'No,' she said.

Jerry looked at Ty.

Ty said, 'No.'

'Then it bothered me when I realized you all shared a bed.' He looked at us again. 'How long have you three been ... together?'

'Almost three years,' Micah said.

'Mom, Dad, and Ty have been together for double that. I'm the only one who tried for traditional, and by two years in I knew it wasn't going to work. Maybe I need to find a nice couple to settle down with.'

'Janet is a good person,' Beth said.

'I thought Kelsey was a good person, too.'

'Kelsey always noticed other men at parties and stuff.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' Jerry asked.

'Because I was just a kid and I didn't understand what I was seeing. Now, I'd say something.'

'I'm sorry, it's just I feel stupid about Kelsey and about not seeing what was right in front of me with Dad and Mom and Ty.'

'I didn't know you had any doubts about marrying Janet,' Bea said.

'I don't, and then I think how oblivious I've been and I wonder what I'm missing this time.'

'I look forward to meeting Janet,' Micah said.

Jerry nodded. 'Let me know if she tries to sleep with you, okay?'

'It won't happen this time,' he said.

Jerry just looked at him.

'But I promise, I'll tell you if it does.'

Jerry looked at Nathaniel. 'You, too, pretty boy.'

Nathaniel smiled, and then looked uncomfortable and finally just said, 'I'll tell Micah and Anita.'

'We'll tell you,' I said.

'And I don't think I like you calling Nathaniel pretty boy,' Micah said. 'It sounds dismissive, and he's too important to me for that.'

Jerry spread his hands wide. 'Sorry, it's just he is pretty, and I'm having a moment of insecurity, okay?'

'My men, they do have that effect on people,' I said. I tried to make a joke of it.

Jerry wasn't really in the mood for jokes, apparently, because he said, 'I'd just make a blanket request that if Janet tries to hit on any of your guys, someone tells me.' He was looking behind me.

I looked back at the guards who were sitting at the counter. I tried to see them from Jerry's point of view. They were all taller, more muscled, and more obviously dangerous. He was as good-looking as Bram or Ares, but Dev and Nicky, not really. Nicky wasn't much ahead of them, but Dev, he was almost as beautiful as Nathaniel and Micah. The real difference was that Dev was a more masculine beauty and my main sweeties were closer to the androgynous and even feminine-beauty side.

'Don't feel bad, Jerry; sometimes it makes me feel insecure to date them.'

He frowned at me. 'Why?'

'I've broken the girl rule,' I said.

'What rule?'

'Never date anyone prettier than you are.'

Jerry looked at me, still frowning. He glanced at Micah. 'Is she teasing me?'

Micah shook his head. 'No.'

'If you think my brother and even Lavender Eyes here are prettier than you are, then you are not looking in the same mirror that I am.'

It was my turn to frown.

'Just say it, Jerry; Anita won't get it any other way.'

'Understand what?'

'You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. The look on your face says you don't know that.'

'Don't believe it,' I said.

'Why not?'

I shrugged. 'My childhood trauma can wait for another day. Didn't someone mention food?'

'You're changing the subject,' Jerry said. 'I've never met a woman who wanted to change the subject after you'd called her beautiful.'

'Anita isn't like any other woman I've ever met,' Micah said, and kissed my cheek. I turned so he could kiss me on the lips and so I could kiss him back.

Bea beamed at us. 'When can I expect grandchildren?'

'I can't have children,' Micah said. He didn't explain that he'd had himself fixed because Chimera had enjoyed getting the female shapeshifters pregnant and then watching them lose the babies when they shapeshifted. Without serious and hard-to-find help, no female wereanimal could carry beyond a couple of months. The change was too violent for the body to hold on to a fetus. Micah hadn't wanted to cause such pain and he'd never expected to be rescued from Chimera, not until he met me.

'I'm so sorry,' Bea said. She smiled gently at her son and then turned the smile on Nathaniel. 'Any children you have with Nathaniel and Anita would be yours just like all of our kids are both Ty's and Rush's. I still want grandchildren no matter who the bio-dad is,' she said.

Nathaniel looked startled, and then looked to Micah, who said, 'I agree with my mom.'

Nathaniel smiled and looked so happy, but ... 'I am not planning on getting pregnant,' I said.

'Career first,' Bea said. 'I understand.'

'No, my career isn't really the point. I'm just not the maternal type.'

'You don't want to have children?' Bea asked.

'Not really.'

'If I were the girl, we'd already be pregnant,' Nathaniel said. 'I'm more domestic and I love kids.'

I gave him a dirty look.

Micah shook his head and smiled. 'Let's eat dinner before we have to go back to the hospital and before Anita gets too uncomfortable.'

'Okay,' Bea said, 'everyone's brought so much food we could feed a small army.' She got briskly to her feet, as if she had a plan. She was going to either drop the subject as asked, or make sure I was around as many small, cute children as possible, as if there were a pheromone in their tiny bodies that would turn on my biological clock. I'd seen Frost and Fen; they were cute, but they weren't that cute.

20

Three hours later we were back in the hospital and Micah's dad was awake. He raised his one good hand outside the blanket and Micah took it, holding his father's arm against his chest as if clasping him to his heart.

'Mike,' he said in a voice that was still thick with the last of the drugs they'd cleared out of his system so he could talk to his son.

'Dad, I'm so sorry.'

'For what?'

'You know I love you, Mom, Beth, Jerry ... and all the kids.'

A look passed over his dad's face. He blinked the eyes that were so much Micah's except they were brown, the color Micah had started with. 'You know?'

Micah nodded. 'Once I saw Frost, Mom and Ty had to tell me.'

His dad smiled; it was a good one full of love and happiness, even here and now. 'We didn't plan on her looking so much like my side of the family.'

Micah hugged his father's arm tighter to him, nodding a little too rapidly as if he didn't trust his voice. Nathaniel and I stood in the corner of the room holding hands. We'd have waited outside except that Micah wanted us inside. His mom had been incredibly brave and waited in the hallway.

'You aren't upset about your mom and Ty and ...' He swallowed hard, closed his eyes, and let out a shaky breath. 'Everything.'

'No, not at all.'

'Jerry's still mad.'

'Jerry's always mad,' Micah said.

His father smiled and gave a little nod, but a spasm passed over his face. The price of this talk was the painkillers being almost out of his system.

'Let me get the nurse; you're hurting.'

He swallowed hard again and let out another shaky breath. 'The painkillers put me out, and I don't want to miss this.'

'Okay,' Micah said. His voice was a little thick, but he wasn't crying. He would be strong for his dad, because that was who Micah was, what he was. Nathaniel squeezed my hand hard. I glanced up and saw his eyes shining with unshed tears. I would not cry, not here, not now, not in front of Rush Callahan. It might be the only time I met Micah's dad; I would not do it in tears. I wouldn't, damn it.

'Who's this?' he asked, and he was looking at us.

'This is Anita and Nathaniel.'

We moved toward the bed, still hand in hand.

'Marshal Anita Blake,' his dad said.

'Yes,' I said.

Those brown eyes so like Micah's moved to look at Nathaniel. He had a small frown between his eyes, as if he was thinking too hard or trying to think of a way to say something.

Micah unwrapped one hand from his father's arm and held it out to us. I took his hand and drew Nathaniel with me. Micah said, 'The three of us have been living together for almost three years.' He smiled, gave a small laugh, and said, 'I thought you and Mom wouldn't approve of me being with Nathaniel.'

His dad laughed, but it ended in another spasm that moved more of his body, as if he were having trouble not writhing with the pain.

He let go of my hand to reach for the call button. 'Let me get the nurse, Dad.'

'No,' and he gripped Micah's hand hard enough to cord muscle along his forearm. He looked up at his son with a fierceness on his face, almost rage. 'No,' he said again.

'Okay, okay,' Micah said. He put his hand back on his father's arm so that he was touching him as much as he could.

'How did you find out I was here?' his father asked.

'Mom called Anita.'

Rush looked at me, and there was a look; it was a cop look. That look that hides most emotions but weighs you, measures you, and sees more than most people understand. 'She appealed woman to woman,' he said.

'Yes,' I said.

He smiled. 'I've read up on you, Marshal. How'd appealing to your feminine side go?'

I smiled. 'I did what she wanted. I got Micah here.'

He smiled a little more. 'You did. Thank you.'

'You are welcome; I just wish it weren't under these circumstances, sir.'

'Me, too, and no need to "sir" me. I'm Rush.'

'Then no need to "Marshal" me,' I said.

He took another breath, and the effort to keep it even was visible. 'Anita, then.'

'Yes,' I said.

'And Nathaniel,' he said.

'Yes, sir,' Nathaniel said.

'Call me Rush.'

'Rush,' Nathaniel said, and held harder to my hand.

'Mom said that you knew why I had been so horrible to all of you ten years ago.'

Rush moved his eyes back to his son. 'I saw some of the photos of what Chimera had done to other families. I understood then why you'd done it.'

I wanted to ask a question so badly, but this wasn't my Hallmark moment. I must have made some small movement, because Rush looked at me. 'Ask,' he said.

'What pictures?'

'He slaughtered and tortured his way across the country before his group got to St Louis. The Feds had a file on the crimes; they just didn't know who, or what, was doing it for a long time.' His body shuddered on the bed, and he gripped Micah's hand hard, not out of affection, but the way a woman in labor will hold on.

In a voice that was breathless with pain, Rush said, 'No nurse, not yet.'

'I don't want to use your time talking police work,' I said.

'You want to know why someone from the federal branch showed me the file.' His voice was recovering its strength, but the strain still showed on his face.

'Yes,' I said.

'Yes,' Micah said.

He looked up at both of us, and again that cop look crossed his face. He looked at me. The force of personality in his eyes was intense, and I prayed that I'd get a chance to see him whole and well. 'Does the name Van Cleef mean anything to you, Anita?'

I blinked and fought to keep my own cop face in place. Van Cleef was the name of one of the people who had helped train Edward, Marshal Ted Forrester, in covert operations after the regular military had trained him in special ops. Two other men that I knew had been associated with him: Bernardo Spotted-Horse and Otto Jeffries. They were both marshals, too, all of the preternatural branch just like me. I knew that Edward had been a professional assassin for years and that Ted Forrester was his Clark Kent disguise. Otto Jeffries's real name was Olaf, and when he wasn't training our military in dangerous things or being a mercenary in other countries, he had a hobby. He was a serial killer, but he only indulged when he wasn't on an assignment, so the government seemed determined to keep him too busy to play.

I honestly didn't know how much the government knew about Edward and Olaf's reality, but Van Cleef had helped train all three of them and some other men who the four of us had met about four years ago. The other men had died. We hadn't.

I'd been quiet too long, because Rush said, 'I see that it does.'

'What does the name mean to you?' I asked.

Micah was looking from one to the other of us, because he didn't know. I hadn't met him when I'd last played with Van Cleef's people. Edward, Olaf, and Bernardo didn't count. Edward was one of my best friends. Bernardo was a work friend. Olaf had a crush on me, because I'd hunted vampires with him, cut people up, killed with him, and he'd thought it was foreplay. The last time we worked together, Olaf had been attacked by a werelion and tested positive for lycanthropy. He'd vanished after that, and so had a female doctor. We'd assumed he took the woman and indulged his hobby. He'd written me a note and basically said he was going to stay away from me until he was sure I wouldn't make him a pet cat like I had Nicky. They had known each other professionally before I tamed Nicky.

'I've worked with Van Cleef's people,' Rush said.

I blinked, fought to keep my face empty, and tried to process that Micah's dad knew people as dangerous as I did.

'Why did they show you the file, and why did they have a file on Chimera and his people?'

'The military has been interested in trying to harness tame shapeshifters for a long time. Chimera interested them.'

'Did the military know what he was doing?' Micah asked.

'Not at first. They were organizing a hunt for him and his people about the time he, and you, got to St Louis. They were going to try to capture him. His DNA on his victims showed he was a panwere. They wanted to study him.'

'Study him,' Micah said; his voice held disbelief and the beginnings of anger.

'I didn't know until this year.' He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. Sweat was beginning to bead on his forehead. 'Anita, you interest them.'

'Because I'm a panwere, sort of,' I said.

He opened his eyes. 'The fact that you don't change shape makes them even more interested in you.'

'Are you warning us?' Micah asked.

'They may come to you and try to blackmail you into helping them.'

'Blackmail me with what?' I asked.

'Chimera and his people arrived in St Louis, we know that, but they never left.'

He was looking very steadily at me. I fought to keep as careful a face as I'd shown anyone in a long time. 'What do you want me to say?' I asked.

'Men like Chimera, groups like his, don't just vanish, Anita. But it was your bloodwork hitting the government grapevine that clinched it.'

'I don't know what you're talking about,' I said.

'You killed him. You did it up close and personal enough for him to put his claws, or teeth, into you. Strains of lycanthropy have DNA just like viruses. They know you're carrying some of his DNA inside you, but you have even more control. You have the military's dream of being faster, stronger, harder to kill, better at killing, and you never lose human shape.'

'That's not due to being a panwere,' I said.

'Then what is it?'

I debated for a moment, and then answered. 'We think it's the vampire marks. Vampires can't become shapeshifters with modern strains of lycanthropy, and I was already tied to Jean-Claude when I got contaminated.'

Rush swallowed hard again, closed his eyes, and just breathed for a while. 'So without the vampire marks ahead of time, it won't work.'

'It may only work for me. I'm not sure it's duplicable at all.'

'If I don't wake up again, tell Gonzales what you told me. He'll be able to get it where it needs to go. Don't admit anything; just tell him that your control is based on your ties to the Master of St Louis. Tell them it's not doable.'

'What's not doable?' Micah asked.

'Making more of her.'

'You're joking,' I said.

'I wouldn't waste my time with Mike lying.' He looked up at his son. 'Do you love her?'

'I do.'

'Do you love Nathaniel?'

'I do,' Micah said.

'Good, I'm glad. I love your mom, always have, and I love Ty. It works for us.'

'It works for us, too.'

'Did you know Aunt Jody is living with her girlfriend?'

'Yeah.'

Rush laughed, but it ended in him writhing on the bed, and then making a pain sound. 'Mom and Dad are starting to question what they did wrong, because two of their kids are living in unnatural sin.' He laughed again, but it was a harsh sound. 'Are Bea and Ty here?'

'Just outside,' Micah said.

He looked up at Micah, but his eyes had that fever shine to them, his face glistening with sweat. 'I love you, son.'

'I love you, too, Dad.'

Rush looked at me. 'You take good care of him, Anita.'

'I will.'

'Nathaniel, you love my boy?'

'Very much.'

'Good. Take care of one another.'

'We will, promise.'

Rush nodded too rapidly and too often. His hand convulsed around Micah's and then he said, 'Send them in. If I don't talk to you again, know I love you and I know that you are good and strong and I'm so happy you have two people who love you; that's more than most people ever get.'

Micah used one hand to touch his father's hair. 'I love you, Dad.' He turned to us. 'Get my mom and Ty.'

Nathaniel and I turned and went for the door. We left Micah with his father, saying the things you say at the end if you get a chance and you really do love each other.