A Wallflower Christmas
Page 17“Well, yes, he’s a rake, but to be so open and effusive…that’s not like him. He’s usually”
“A rake of few words,” Daisy finished for her.
“My point is, he was clearly moved by a very strong feeling,” Lillian told Hannah. She turned to her younger sister. “What do you think, Daisy?”
“Well, reading such sentiments from one’s brother is slightly revolting,” Daisy said. “Wine and honey, et cetera. But regardless of that, it’s clear that Rafe has fallen in love for the first time in his life.”
“The letter may not have been meant for me” Hannah began, when the door opened again.
It was Evie, Lady St. Vincent, her red hair arranged in a loose chignon. “I’ve been looking for you,” she said.
“We haven’t seen you for days,” Lillian said. “Where have you been?”
Evie’s color deepened. “With St. Vincent.”
“What have you been…Oh, good God. Never mind.”
Evie’s gaze fell on Hannah. “Oh, dear. Are you all right?”
“We’re discussing something highly private,” Daisy told her. “Hannah’s in love with Rafe. It’s a secret. Come in.”
Evie entered the room and sat in a nearby chair, while Lillian succinctly explained the situation. “May I see the letter?” she asked.
“I don’t think” Hannah began, but Daisy had already given it to her.
“Don’t worry,” Lillian murmured to Hannah. “Evie’s better than anyone at keeping secrets.”
After Evie had finished reading, looking up with round blue eyes, Hannah said morosely, “It may not have been intended for me. It could just as easily have been written for Natalie. Men adore her. They’re always proposing to her, and she manages them so well, and I can’t manage them at all.”
“N-no one can manage men,” Evie told her firmly. “They c-can’t even manage themselves.”
“That’s right,” Lillian said. “And furthermore, any woman who thinks she can manage men shouldn’t be allowed to have one.”
“Annabelle can manage them,” Daisy said reflectively. “Although she would deny it.”
There was a brief tap at the door.
“The tea,” Lillian said.
However, it was not a maid, but Annabelle Hunt. “Hello,” she said with a smile, her gaze sweeping across the group. “What are we doing?” As she looked at Hannah, her expression softened with concern. “Oh, you’ve been crying.”
“She’s in love with Rafe Bowman,” Evie said. “It’s a s-secret. Come in.”
“Tell no one, Annabelle,” Lillian said severely. “This is confidential.”
“She’s not very good with secrets,” Daisy said.
“This is a big one,” Lillian told her.
Hannah waited with resignation as the situation was explained to Annabelle.
Receiving the letter, Annabelle scanned the scorched parchment, and a faint smile came to her lips. “Oh, how lovely.” She looked up at Hannah. “This was not meant for Lady Natalie,” she said decisively. “Hannah, Rafe’s attraction to you has not gone unnoticed. In fact, it has been discreetly remarked upon.”
“She means everyone’s gossiping about you,” Daisy said to Hannah.
“I believe,” Annabelle continued, “that Rafe likes Lady Nataliethere is certainly much about her to like. But he loves you.”
“But it’s impossible,” Hannah said, her face drawn with miserable tightness.
“Impossible that he could love you?” Daisy asked. “Or impossible because of the infernal deal that Father has set up for him?”
“Both,” Hannah said dolefully. “First, I don’t know if what he feels for me is merely infatuation …” She paused to blot her burning eyes.
” ‘Ask me an hour from now,’ ” Annabelle read softly from the letter. ” ‘Ask me a month from now. A year, ten years, a lifetime …’ That’s not infatuation, Hannah.”
“But even if it’s true,” Hannah said, “I would never accept him, because he would lose everything, including his relationship with his father. I would not want him to make such a sacrifice.”
“Neither should Father,” Lillian said darkly.
“Perhaps I should mention,” Daisy volunteered, “that Matthew is determined to have it out with Father on this issue. He says Father can’t be allowed to run to such excesses. Limits must be set, or he’ll try to trample over everyone. And since Matthew has a great deal of influence with Father, it’s very possible that he can make him retract his demands.”
“But no matter what,” Annabelle told Hannah, “you have nothing to do with the relationship between Rafe and his father. Your only obligation is to make your feelings known to Rafe. Out of love for himand for your own sake as wellyou must give Rafe a choice. He deserves to know your feelings before he makes important decisions about his future.”
Hannah knew that Annabelle was right. But the truth was not exactly liberating. It made her feel hollow and small. She drew the toe of her shoe on a flowered medallion pattern on the carpet. “I hope I can be that brave,” she said, more to herself than to the others.
“Love is worth the risk,” Daisy said.
“If you don’t tell Rafe,” Lillian added, “you’ll regret it forever. Because you’ll never know what might have happened.”
“Tell him,” Evie said quietly.
Hannah took an unsteady breath, looking at the four of them. They were a peculiar group, all so bright and pretty, but…different. And she had the feeling that these women encouraged each other’s eccentricities, and relished their differences. Anything could be said or done among them, and no matter what it was, they would accept and forgive. Sometimes, in some rare and wonderful friendships, the bond of sisterly love was much stronger than any blood tie.
It felt nice to be around them. She felt comforted in their presence, especially when she looked into the Bowman sisters’ familiar dark eyes.
“All right,” she told them, her stomach dropping. “I will tell him. Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow night is the Christmas Eve ball,” Annabelle said. “Do you have a nice gown to wear?”
“Yes,” Hannah replied. “A white one. It’s very simple, but it’s my favorite.”
“I have a pearl necklace you could borrow,” Annabelle offered.
Lillian grinned. “Hannah, we’ll adorn you more lavishly than the Christmas tree.”
The maid brought in tea, and Lillian sent her back for extra cups. “Who wants tea with brandy?” Lillian asked.
“I do,” said Daisy.
“I’ll take m-mine without the brandy,” Evie murmured.
“I’ll take mine without the tea,” Annabelle said.
Moving to the space beside Hannah, Daisy gave her a fresh handkerchief, and put her arm around her shoulders. “You know, dear,” Daisy said, “you’re our first honorary wallflower. And we’ve brought very good luck to each other. I have no doubt it will extend to you, too.”
SLIGHTLY TIPSY FROM A GLASS OF STRAIGHT BRANDY, LILLIAN SAID good night to the wallflowers, including their newest member. They all left the Marsden parlor to go to their rooms. Wandering slowly toward the master’s suite, Lillian pondered her brother’s situation with a troubled frown.
Lillian was a straightforward, blunt-spoken woman, who far preferred to handle a problem by bringing it out into the open and dealing with it directly. But she understood that this matter must be handled with discretion and sensitivity. Which meant she needed to stay out of it. And yet she longed for Rafe to find the happiness he deserved. Even more, she longed to shake her stubborn ass of a father and command him to stop manipulating the lives of everyone around him.
She decided to talk to Westcliff, who could always be counted on for comfort and common sense. She could hardly wait to hear his opinions on the matter of Rafe and Hannah and Lady Natalie. Guessing that he would still be downstairs with the guests, she headed toward the grand staircase.
As she reached the top of the grand staircase and prepared to descend, she saw her husband standing in the entrance hall below, talking to someone.
Lady Kittridge…again.
“Marcus,” she whispered, feeling a sick pang of jealousy. Followed swiftly by rage.
By God, this was not to be endured. She would not lose her husband’s affections to someone else. Not without a fight. Her hands clenched into fists. Although every instinct screamed for her to storm downstairs and jump between her husband and the blond woman, she managed to restrain herself. She was a countess. She would do the dignified thing, and confront Marcus in private.
First she went to the nursery to say good night to little Merritt, who was snuggled in a lace-trimmed crib, with a nurserymaid watching over her. The sight of her precious daughter calmed Lillian somewhat. She smoothed her hand lightly over the baby’s dark hair, drinking in the sight of her. I’m the mother of his child, she thought vehemently, wishing she could hurl the words like daggers at the glamorous Lady Kittridge. I’m his wife. And he hasn’t fallen out of love with me yet!
She went to the master bedroom, bathed and changed into a nightgown and velvet dressing robe, and brushed out her long sable hair.
Her heart began to thump madly as Marcus entered the room. He paused at the sight of her, the long locks of hair flowing down her back, and he smiled. Here in private, his autocratic demeanor faded away, and the all-powerful earl became a warm, loving, very mortal man.
He stripped off his coat and dropped it onto a chair. His cravat followed, and then he came to stand beside her.
Lillian closed her eyes as his hands came to her head, fingers sliding gently through her loose hair, and his fingertips massaged her temples. She was acutely aware of him, the coiled power of his body, and the dry, sweet outdoors scent of him, like fresh-cut hay. He fascinated her, this complex man with complex needs. Having been raised with the unstinting criticism of her parents, it was no wonder that she occasionally doubted her ability to be enough for Marcus.
“Are you tired?” he asked in that gravel-wrapped-in-velvet murmur, so distinctive and pleasant.
“Just a little.” She sighed as his hands slid to her shoulders, working the tension from them.
“You could just lie back and let me have my way with you,” he suggested, his dark eyes glowing.
“Yes, but…there is something I must talk with you about first.” Damn it, there was a quaver in her voice, despite her attempt to sound calm and dignified.
Marcus’s expression changed as he heard the distress in her tone. He pulled her up to face him, and he stared down at her with instant concern. “What is it, my love?”
“My kind?” Marcus sounded bewildered. “What have I done for centuries? Lillian, what the hell are you talking about?”
Her woeful voice filtered out from behind her hands. “Lady Kittridge.”
There was a short, shocked silence.
“Have you gone mad? Lillian, look at me. Lillian”
“I can’t look at you,” she muttered.
He gave her a little shake. “Lillian…Am I to understand that you think I have a personal interest in her?”
The note of genuine outrage in his question made Lillian feel the tiniest bit better. No guilty husband could have feigned such baffled anger. On the other hand, it was never a good idea to provoke Marcus. He was usually slow to anger, but once it started, mountains trembled, oceans parted, and every creature with an instinct for self-preservation fled for cover.
“I’ve seen you talking with her,” Lillian said, taking her hands down, “and smiling at her, and you’ve corresponded with her. And” She gave him a look of miserable indignation. “You’ve changed the way you tie your cravat!”
“My valet suggested it,” he said, looking stunned.
“And that new trick the other night…that new thing you did in bed …”
“You didn’t like it? Damn it, Lillian, all you had to do was tell me”
“I did like it,” she said, turning scarlet. “But it’s one of the signs, you see.”
“Signs of what?”
“That you’ve tired of me,” she said, her voice cracking. “That you want someone else.”
Marcus stared at her and let out a string of curses that shocked Lillian, who had a fairly good command of filthy language herself. Seizing her arm, he pulled her with him out of the bedroom. “Come with me.”
“Now? Like this? Marcus, I’m not dressed”
“I don’t give a bloody damn!”
I’ve finally driven him mad, Lillian thought in alarm, as he tugged and pulled her along with him, down the stairs and through the entrance hall past a few bemused-looking servants. Out into the biting December cold. What was he going to do? Toss her off the bluff? “Marcus?” she asked nervously, hurrying to keep pace with his ground-eating strides.
He didn’t answer, only took her across the courtyard to the stables, with their central courtyard and drinking fountain for the horses, into the warm central space with rows of superbly appointed horse stalls. Horses stared at them with mild interest as Marcus pulled Lillian to the end of the first row. There was a stall with a large, cheerful red bow tacked at the top.
The stall contained an astonishingly beautiful Arabian mare about fourteen hands high, with a narrow, eloquent head and neck, large lustrous eyes, and what appeared to be perfect conformation.
Lillian blinked in surprise. “A white Arabian?” she asked faintly, having never seen such a creature before. “She looks like something out of a fairy tale.”