A Shiver of Light

“Then it’s hatred between us.”

“I believe so.”

“But you want me to come and pretend otherwise in front of your children.”

“If you wish to be their aunt in truth, rather than just by bloodline, yes.”

“I do not know if I have that much pretense in me.”

“That is for you to decide, aunt.”

She patted Eamon’s hand. “I understand what you were trying to tell me now. I will never be other than your aunt by bloodline, Meredith.”

“Agreed, Aunt Andais.”

“But you would give me the chance to be more to your children.”

“If you behave yourself, yes.”

“Why?”

“Truth, you are powerful enough that I would rather not go from hating each other to trying to kill each other.”

She laughed so abruptly it was more of a snort. “Well, that is truth.”

“But there is one other reason I’m willing to do this, Aunt Andais.”

“And what would that be, niece Meredith?”

“My father told me stories of you and him playing together when you were children.”

“He did?”

“Yes, he did. He would tell me of you as a little girl with him a little boy, and his face would soften and the memories gave him joy, and in hopes that my father’s sister is still inside you somewhere, I will give you a chance to show Essus’s grandchildren the part of you that made my father smile.”

Her eyes were shining again, but it wasn’t magic; tears glittered in her tricolored eyes. She swallowed hard enough I could hear it, and then she said, “Oh, Meredith, nothing you could have said would have hurt me more than that.”

“I did not mean to cause you pain.”

“And I know that you mean that, and that is the cruelest blow of all, my niece, my brother’s daughter, because you remind me of him. He should have killed me and taken the throne when Barinthus urged him to; so much pain could have been saved.”

“You were his sister and he loved you,” I said.

The tears began to fall down her face. “I know that, Meredith, and I will miss him forever.” She blanked the mirror with a wave of her hand as she began to cry harder.

CHAPTER TWELVE

WELL, THAT WAS unexpected,” Rhys said.

“Merry made her cry,” Cathbodua said, and came to drop to her knees in front of me, her raven-feathered cloak spilling around her like shiny black water. The cloak always moved as if it were made of different things than it appeared to be, as if it were more liquid than solid sometimes, but then once it had given her the gift of shapeshifting, so maybe that was it.

I felt Galen shift where he sat by my legs. He didn’t always like Cathbodua. I felt Kitto flex underneath my slippers; he would have flinched if he’d not still been pretending to be an object. He was afraid of Cathbodua, though she’d not done anything to him to make him afraid; it just seemed to be an on-principle sort of thing for him. It seemed to be the same reason Galen didn’t like her.

Cathbodua wasn’t that close to either of them. She’d knelt far enough away from me to keep everyone in the room in view. Battle goddesses, even fallen ones, always seem to remember that you never look away from anyone who could hurt you, and that meant everyone in the room.

“I have only seen one other person who could move the queen as you just did, and that was your father, Prince Essus. Him I would have followed forever, and today I see that you are your father’s daughter.”

“Thank you, Cathbodua; that makes me happy to hear, for I loved and respected my father.”

“As well you should have, Princess, but I will offer my oath to you.”

“I have not asked an oath of service from anyone,” I said.

“No, you have not; it was the queen who forced Prince Essus to take our oath to him. He would have trusted to our loyalty and love of him.”

Bryluen fussed in her sleep and I raised her to put her against my shoulder. She liked to be upright sometimes. I said, “Andais doesn’t trust love, only fear.”

“Essus understood that those who follow out of love are more powerful than those who follow out of fear.”

“There is no loyalty in fear, only resentment,” I said.

“You have been fair and gentle with those of us who would allow it, and fierce and ruthless with those who would not. I ask that you would take my oath so that I may serve you, Princess Meredith, daughter of Essus.”

“Once you give oath you are bound to me forever, or until my death, and I may not be as much my father’s daughter as you think.”

“You are more ruthless than he was, and if you fight, you kill your enemy. I have never seen you offer mercy to anyone who tried to kill you or those dear to you.”

“Shouldn’t that give you pause, before you tie yourself to me, Cathbodua?”

“No, because if your father had held your edge of harshness he would have slain his assassin and not let love stay his hand. He would have been forced to kill his sister and become king, and so much pain, death, and useless bloodletting would have been avoided.”

“Are you saying my father was weak?”

“Never, but he was softer than you are, Princess.”

I laughed. “I think most of the nobles would not agree with you.”

“Then they have not been paying attention since your hands of power manifested, Princess Meredith.”