A Mother's Wish

When they finished the cones, Cole gathered up their packages and led them back to where he’d parked his car.

Blackie was there to greet them the instant they returned to Orchard Street. Jeff ran into the backyard to play with the dog, and Cole walked Robin to her door. He accepted her offer of coffee.

“I’m probably going to be leaving soon for my property,” he said, watching her closely. He sat down at the table, his hands cupping the mug as though to warm them. “Will you be all right?”

Robin nodded. She walked over and stood beside him and pressed a hand to his strong jaw. “I realize you delayed going up there today because of Jeff and his baseball game. We’re both grateful.”

Cole placed his hand over hers and harshly expelled his breath. “I feel responsible for what you went through there on the pier. I should never have said what I did. I’m sorry, Robin, it wasn’t any of my business.”

“You only said what I needed to hear.”

He smiled. “If I did, it was because of what happened to me in Seattle. It’s quite a coincidence that both of us would come to grips with our pain while standing on a pier—me in Seattle, you here in San Francisco. I went home with this incredible sense of release. For the first time since Bobby and Jennifer’s deaths, I surrendered my grief. In a way it was as though I reached up and God reached down and together we came to an understanding.”

That so completely described what Robin had been feeling that for a long moment she couldn’t say anything. What Cole had said earlier about carrying the pain, dragging it everywhere, was right on the mark, too. He understood; he’d done the same thing himself. A surge of love swelled within her.

“I know you don’t want to hear this,” he was saying. “I honestly don’t mean to pressure you. But once I returned from Seattle and realized I was falling in love with you I started thinking about having another baby.” He hesitated and took a gulp of his coffee. Then he stood up abruptly, nearly knocking the chair backward. “I’d better go before I say or do something else I shouldn’t.”

Robin followed him into the entryway, not wanting him to leave, but not quite ready to give him what he needed.

He paused at the screen door and his eyes immediately found hers. He couldn’t seem to keep himself from touching her, brushing an auburn curl from her cheek. His knuckles grazed her skin lightly, and Robin’s eyes closed of their own accord at the sensation that shot through her. Her heart was full, and she seemed to have all the answers now—except to the one question that was the most important in her life. And Jeff’s.

“I’ll see you sometime next week,” Cole said roughly, pulling his hand away. Without another word, he walked out the door, pausing at the top of the porch steps.

He called for his dog and in response both Blackie and Jeff came running.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Jeff asked breathlessly.

“I’m taking Blackie for the rest of the weekend. You think you can get along without him till Monday, sport?”

Jeff shrugged and stuck his fingers in the hip pockets of his blue jeans. “I suppose. Where are you taking him?”

“To my property.” Cole didn’t turn toward Robin. It was as if he had to ignore her in order to walk away from her.

“Oh, yeah!” Jeff said enthusiastically. “I remember you said something about it once. You’re building a house, aren’t you?”

“Remodelling one. My grandfather lived there as a boy and he left it to me, only it’s been a lot of years since anyone’s cared for that old house properly and there’s plenty of work that needs to be done.”

“I’ll work for you,” Jeff piped up eagerly. He made a fist and flexed his arm, revealing the meager muscles. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but I’m strong. Ask anyone.”

Cole tested Jeff’s muscles, pretending to be impressed. “Yes, I can tell you’re strong, and I’m sure I couldn’t ask for a harder worker.” Jeff beamed until Cole added regretfully, “I’ll take you up there another time, sport.”

Jeff’s face fell.

Before she even realized what she was doing, Robin moved onto the porch. “Cole.”

He turned to face her, but the movement seemed reluctant.

Perhaps it was because she didn’t want to be separated from him any more than he wanted to be away from her. Perhaps it was the thought of Jeff’s disappointment when he’d already had so many other disappointments in his life. Perhaps it was this newborn sense of freedom she was just beginning to experience.

She stepped toward Cole. “Could Jeff and I go up to the property with you?”

Jeff didn’t wait for Cole to answer before leaping excitedly into the air. “Hey, Mom, that’s a great idea! Really great. Can we, Cole? Blackie and I can help you, and Mom can … Well, she can do things like make us some grub and bring us lemonade and other stuff women do when their men are working.”

“I’ll have you both know I pound a mean hammer,” Robin felt obliged to inform them. If she was going to Cole’s farm, she fully intended to do her share.

Cole looked perplexed for a moment, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “I’d love to have you come—if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

Robin just nodded. All she knew was that she couldn’t bear to be separated from him any longer.

“Be warned—the house is only half done. The plumbing isn’t in yet.”

“We’ll manage, won’t we, Jeff?”

“Yeah,” Jeff said eagerly. “Anyway, boys got it easy.”

Cole laughed. “How long will it take you to pack?”

“We’re ready now, aren’t we, Blackie?” Jeff almost jitterbugged across the front lawn in his enthusiasm.

“Give me a few minutes to throw some things together,” Robin said, grinning. Jeff was smiling, too, from ear to ear, as he dashed past her into the house and up the stairs.

Cole’s eyes held Robin’s in silent communication—until Jeff came bursting out of the house, dragging his sheets and quilt with him, straight from his bed.

“Jeff,” she cried, aghast, “what are you doing?”

“I took everything off my bed. I can go without plumbing, but I need my sleep.” He piled the bedding at their feet. “You two can go back to looking at each other. I’ll get everything else we need.”

“Jeff,” Robin groaned, casting Cole an apologetic glance. “I’ll pack my own things, thank you.”

“You want me to get your sheets, too?” he called from inside the house.

“No.” She scooped up the bedding and hurried into the house, taking the stairs two at a time. She discovered Jeff sitting on the edge of her bed, his expression pensive.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you ever going to marry Cole?” her son asked.

At the unexpectedness of the question, Robin’s heart flew to her throat, then slid back into place. Briefly she wondered if Cole had brought up the subject with her son, but instinctively knew he hadn’t. “W-what makes you ask that?”

He shrugged. “Lots of things. Every time I turn around you two are staring at each other. Either that or kissing. I try to pretend I don’t notice, but it’s getting as bad as some of those movies you like. And when you were crying on the pier, I saw something. Cole had his arms around you and he was looking real sad. Like … like he wished he could do the crying for you. It’s the same look Grandpa sometimes gives Grandma when he figures out that she’s upset, and she doesn’t even have to talk. Do you know what I mean?”

“I think so,” Robin said, casually walking over to her dresser drawer and taking out a couple of old sweatshirts. “And what would you think if I said I was considering marrying Cole?”

Robin expected shouts of glee and wild shrieks, but instead her son crossed his arms over his chest and moved his mouth in odd ways, stretching it to one side and then the other. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” She folded and refolded one of the sweatshirts, her heart pounding in anticipation. “It would mean a lot of changes for all of us.”

“How many other people are involved in this?”

Robin hesitated, not understanding Jeff’s concern. “What do you mean?”

“Will I get an extra set of grandparents in this deal?”

“Uh … probably. I haven’t talked to Cole about that yet, but I assume so.”

“That means extra gifts on my birthday and at Christmas. I say we should go for it.”

“Jeffrey Leonard Masterson, you shock me!”

He shrugged. “That’s how a kid thinks.”

Robin shook her head in dismay at her son’s suddenly materialistic attitude toward her possible marriage. She was still frowning as she stepped outside.

Cole was in his garage, loading up the trunk of his SUV when Robin joined him. She handed him one small suitcase and a bag of groceries she’d packed at the last minute.

Cole stowed them away, carefully avoiding her eyes. “I guess you said something to Jeff about us?” She could hear amusement in his voice.

“Yes. How’d you know?”

“He brought down a paper bag full of clothes and asked what kind of presents he could expect from my parents at Christmas. He also asked if there were any aunts or uncles in the deal.” Robin’s embarrassment must have showed, because Cole started chuckling.

“That boy’s got a mercenary streak in him I knew nothing about,” she muttered.

Cole was still grinning. “You ready?”

She nodded, drawing an unsteady breath, eager for this adventure to begin. Jeff and Blackie were already in the backseat when Robin slipped into the front to wait for Cole.

“Are we going to sing camp songs?” Jeff asked, leaning forward. He didn’t wait for a response, but immediately launched into the timeless ditty about bottles of beer on the wall. He sang ninety-nine verses of that, then performed a series of other songs until they left the freeway and wound up on a narrow country road with almost no traffic.

Jeff had tired of singing by then. “Knock knock,” he called out.

“Who’s there?” Robin said, falling in with his game.

“Eisenhower.”

“Eisenhower who?”

Jeff snickered. “Eisenhower late, how about you?” With that, the ten-year-old broke into belly-gripping guffaws, as if he should be receiving awards for his ability to tell jokes.

Cole’s mouth was twitching and Robin had to admit she was amused, too.

“The turnoff for the ranch is about a mile up the road,” Cole explained. “Now remember, this is going to be a lot like camping. It’s still pretty primitive.”

“You don’t need to worry,” Robin said, smiling at him.

A couple of minutes later, Cole slowed, about to turn down the long driveway. It was then that Robin saw the sign. Her heart jumped into her throat and her hands started to shake.