A Girl's Guide to Vampires

 

"No."

"Come on, Joy."

"No!"

"Mon ange - "

"You call me that one more time, and I swear I'll mon ange you so hard you'll walk funny for a week. And stop slobbering on my hand!"

"You are distraught, mon ange - "

"RAPHAEL!"

"Dominic!"

"Joyful - "

"All right, stop it, all of you!" I yanked my hand from Dominic's and glared at the assembled company. "This is starting to resemble a circus. You!" I pointed to Roxy. "Sit. You!" I pointed to Raphael. "Stop flexing your muscles at Christian and watch Dominic. You!" I pointed to Christian. "Stop glaring at Raphael, sit next to Roxy, and keep her in line. Feel free to sit on her if you need to. Now, as for you, Dominic, I want it made perfectly clear that I am doing this against my better judgment, and only because my friend foolishly wagered every cent she has that I would. So I will read the runes for three people, and three people only: Raphael, Christian, and Arielle."

"No!" Tanya shrieked from where she was sitting sullen and angry behind Dominic. "That is not a fair test. She chooses three people who would lie for her, who would say that whatever she tells them is true!"

"Oh!" I gasped, outraged. "I would never ask anyone to lie for me, and certainly none of the three people I mentioned would think to do so!"

"Why not? You have slept with both of the men, and I saw the way you watched my sister. Even an innocent like her is not safe from your lustful appetite!"

"You witch!" I stormed, jumping up from my chair and heading off the stage to where Tanya sat.

She leaped up and headed for me. "That's right, I am a witch, and you'd do well to remember that for you I have created a spell most powerful. It will rid us of your unwanted presence... permanently!"

Raphael grabbed my arm and kept me from flinging myself down the three steps to the seats. Milos grabbed Tanya and pulled her backwards, none too gently I was pleased to see.

"Joie." Dominic oiled over to me and took my hand again, tugging me back to the table he'd set up for the reading. "You make my heart ache when you insist on deranging yourself over such trivial matters. This wager, it is a minor matter, one that is better forgotten when compared to your happiness. I will wave it away and absolve your friend from her responsibility."

I eyed him warily. "You will? What's the catch?"

He moved closer to me, his eyelids at half mast as he leaned his head to mine. "If it is within my power to make you happy, mon ange, I will climb the highest mountain to see it so. I will swim the deepest ocean, I will move - "

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the point. What do you want in return for calling this whole thing off?"

He leaned close enough to peer down my cleavage. "A night spent in the arms of mon ange is not too much to ask, I think."

"Think again," I snapped, and turned back to the table.

He grabbed my hand and hauled me up to his chest.

"Raphael!" I turned to him with a meaningful glare.

"Dominic - " he warned with a flash of his amber eyes, starting toward Dominic.

"Mon ange" Dominic pleaded, one eye on Raphael as he approached.

"There they go again," Roxy said to Christian. "Kind of like watching an episode of The Waltons, isn't it?"

He raised his brows at her. She fawned at him.

"This has gone far enough," Raphael said, pulling my fingers free from Dominic's, massaging the top of my hand with his thumb as he walked me back to my chair. I would have allowed the tingles his touch generated to sweep through my body, but given the present company, I figured it was better to keep all my wits present and accounted for. "Why don't we stop wasting time? Whom do you want her to read for, Dominic?"

Dominic looked peeved at having his toy taken out of his grasp, but he rubbed his hands together and gave me a leer that all but stripped off my lovely garnet dress. "Myself, of course, Milos, and Tanya. I believe the three of us will offer ample opportunity for Joie to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Tanya's claims are false."

"No, no, and over my dead body. I don't give a hoot what Tanya claims," I muttered. "The bet was only that I do three readings."

"I cannot allow her to stain your honor in such a manner." he answered. "Alas, it is my unfortunate duty to remind you that the wager said you would successfully conduct three readings. Thus you not only do the readings, but they must be accurate."

"You can't get fine accuracy with rune stones," I protested.

"Within reasonable doubt," he added.

"Fine," I said, unhappy but without many choices. "But there's no reason I have to read for you three. Arielle is certainly above suspicion of complicity, Christian is neutral, and Raphael is your own employee, for heaven's sake! There can be no objection to my reading for them."

Evidently there could. Tanya spat a flurry of unintelligible comments to Dominic, who shrugged and turned back to me. "You must read for three fair employees to satisfy Tanya, mon ange," he said with a hint of immovability.

I debated continuing the argument until I wore him down, but figured I might as well give in and get the blasted thing over with.

"Fine. I'll read for Raphael, Arielle, and Milos. Happy now?"

"With one slight adjustment - you will change Milos for Tanya."

I looked between the cold-eyed Milos and the raging Tanya and gave a mental shrug. One was bound to be as bad as the other. "Fine, but she's last If my reading calls down any acts of God, I want to be able to leave quickly."

I ignored Dominic's hand and seated myself at the table, grimacing at the showy casting cloth set over the table. I yanked it off and yelled to Roxy, "Give me your red scarf, would you?" She brought it over and I smoothed it out until it lay flat on the table, then looked out at the people assembled. I was at the edge of one corner of the stage, sitting behind a small table, melting under the bright stage lights someone had turned on. Tanya and Milos dragged two chairs from the seating section to join the semicircle of people already sitting in front of me. The irony of the situation - having to prove something I didn't believe in - did not escape me. If this kept up, I'd be like Lewis Carroll's Alice, believing six impossible things before breakfast.

"Right. I'm ready. Let's have Arielle first."

Arielle, who had been sitting quietly next to Roxy, gave me a tentative look, shot a quick glance at her sister, and took the chair opposite me.

I smiled to reassure her. She was clearly ill at ease - that made two of us. "You know the routine, Arielle," I said in a voice that I hoped sounded confident. "I'd like you to think of a question and focus on it."

She wrung her hands and nodded.

"Good. In the Odin's Nine layout, the first rune stands for hidden influences on your past, the second for your present attitude on past events, the third for hidden influences on the present, the fourth for your attitude on the present, the fifth on delays or obstacles that may prevent the outcome you seek, the sixth is the outcome or result of your question, and the seventh through ninth stones indicate what you already have, or will need, to influence your past, present, and future respectively. Got all that?"

She nodded again.

"OK, here we go." I reached into the bag and started pulling out stones, laying them in the Odin's Nine layout, naming each stone as I did. "Uruz reversed. Raidho reversed. Gebo. Eihwaz. Isa. Sowulo. Nauthiz. Berkana. Pertho."

She shifted in her seat, eyeing the stones warily. "Since you know how to do this, I'll dispense with the explanations of what each stone means and get right to the juicy parts. The past influences on your question are indecision, impaired personal judgment, burdensome tasks, and low self-confidence."

She looked a bit startled by my stark appraisal of her past, but didn't disagree. I glanced over at Tanya, who sat smiling smugly at me as if she knew a secret and I didn't. Based on the fact that Arielle might have had a life away from the bad influence of her sister, I figured that so far my reading was dead on.

"The present influences on your question indicate that you are at a turning point in your life where you are about to enter into a partnership, but feel as if you are pulled in two directions. Be assured that this relationship will be one that flourishes."

"Oh," she said brightly, looking much more happy at the thought of her present. I mentally crossed my fingers that it would mean she'd find someone who would take her away from Tanya's influence. "That sounds very good. Please go on."

"The future influences indicate you must shed old habits and relationships gone sour in order to move forward with your life. With this shedding will come clarity and inner peace, the power to achieve what you want most. This last stone" - I tapped Pertho - "is one that says that although there will be obstacles in your path, all roads will lead you to where you want to go."

I sat back, pleased that the stones were cooperating and not making me look bad in front of everyone.

"This is ridiculous!" Tanya sputtered, leaping to her feet and pointing at me as she turned to shout at Dominic. "She is not doing the reading correctly! How can we judge if she has at all the powers of the mind?"

"Arielle," I asked gently. "Would you mind telling us what your question was?"

She blushed but unexpectedly raised her chin and looked her sister in the eye. "No, I do not mind. My question was about Paal, whether or not he would ask me to join him when he returns to Norway in the spring. Paal was mon petit ami since the last year, you understand, but my sister did not like him and convinced me that he was not true to me. Because of that I separated from him, but now all has been made clear. Tanya was wrong about Paal, and we are no longer separated," she added with a militant look in her eye. "I love him. I wish to be with him, and I will not allow you to drive him from me again."

"Go, Arielle!" I said softly, then louder as Tanya was about to say something scathing to her sister, "So that's impaired judgment and indecision in the past when Tanya was trying to break you up with Paal, a new relationship and turning point in the present, and a future that can be achieved happily only if you shed the sludge from your life." I looked pointedly at Tanya. "Well, that looks like three out of three for Team Joy."

"Yay!" Roxy cheered.

Tanya snarled an obscenity and sat down, but not before sending her sister a look that did not bode well for her. Arielle sat as far away from Tanya as she could get. I made a mental note to have a talk with Raphael about watching out for her in the future.

"Next?" I tipped my head at Raphael. He rolled his eyes upward as if he were praying for patience, but took the seat before me readily enough. Tanya was whispering vehemently in Dominic's ear, but he seemed to be ignoring her. He gave me another one of his pseudo-seductive smiles. I turned my eyes back to much more pleasant viewing.

"Do you have a question in mind?" I asked.

"I do," Raphael nodded.

"Good God, he's already saying his wedding vows and they haven't even been to bed together," Roxy muttered sotto voce, but not nearly sotto enough.

Raphael quirked his lips at me. I glared at Roxy. "If we could do this without comments from the peanut gallery? Thank you. OK now, Raphael, I want you to concentrate on your question while I draw the stones for you."

"No!" Tanya inadvertently shouted directly into Dominic's ear. He swore and jumped up, rubbing his ear and firing obscenities at Tanya. She didn't even apologize, she just stalked forward, saying, "That is not equitable! He must first tell someone his question, so it can be determined how accurate your reading is."

I looked at Raphael. "You have any objections to telling your question to someone?"

He hesitated for a fraction of a second. "None at all."

"OK. You can tell two people who are neutral in all this mess - Arielle and Milos."

Raphael held a momentary confab with them, then returned to his chair. "Concentrate on the question. Oooh, interesting. I haven't seen that stone in that position before. Have you had a history of spontaneous combustion in your family?"

His eyes widened in surprise.

I grinned. "Just kidding. Let's see what we have here. Mmm. The past influences say that you have several unresolved mysteries that you desperately seek solutions for. Upheaval is prominent in relationship to your question; you suffered a veritable firestorm of anguish trying to ride it out, but in the end you did not find the answer you sought."

I glanced up from the stones to find him watching me with narrow-eyed intensity. I was tempted to ask him just whether the traumatic experience he had recently survived was connected to his secret, but figured it was a question better left for later.

"Influences on the present - hmmm. This stone, Mannaz, says you should be looking for help from those closest around you." I glanced up at him again, met his gaze, and quickly looked back at the stones. "Coupled with this stone, Dagaz, it indicates that only by joining forces with someone else will you have the breakthrough you need to resolve the question plaguing you."

I didn't look up. I wanted to, I wanted to offer my help with whatever task the runes said he had undertaken, but I didn't. I pushed the image of his amber eyes from my mind and kept my gaze focused on the amethyst stones as I moved on to the ones indicating the future. "Influences acting on the future outcome of your question are deceit, treachery, and deliberate misdirection. In order to overcome these obstacles, you must open yourself up to a partnership that is about to be offered you. Communication is vital with your partner. Jera, the last stone, says that your hard labors will be rewarded."

I risked a glance up. He was looking thoughtful, but nothing more. "So, how did I do?"

"What was his question?" Tanya demanded to know.

Milos gave a slight shrug. "His question was whether or not he would find the solution to a problem that was perplexing him."

I shivered as Milos's gaze touched on me for a few seconds. I couldn't pin down what it was about him, but he gave me a never-ending case of the willies.

"Ha!" Tanya cried, jumping to her feet.

"Sit down," Roxy grumbled. "What are you, a jackrabbit?"

"She fails! AH that talk of firestorms and upheaval is just a guess."

"Actually," Raphael said as he stood, "she's remarkably close to the situation." He glanced at Dominic. "As my employer will no doubt be happy to tell you, recent circumstances have wrongly cast me under a cloud of suspicion. The situation I hope to find a solution to stems from that origin."

"Yay!" Roxy cheered. "Our team is ahead two to nothing. Still think she's faking it, Tanya?"

Tanya curled her lip in a truly frightening smile and stalked over to the table.

"Now we shall see. You shall do a reading for me. I will not be so easy to fool as the others."

"Same rules apply for you as Raphael. You have to tell your question to two people - Arielle and Roxy."

"No!" Tanya shouted, pointing at Roxy. "Not her."

"Fine," I said, wanting to get it over with. Although I didn't hold much, if any, faith in the divination power of rune stones, I found doing readings tended to be a bit draining. "Arielle and Milos again, if neither objects."

Neither did. Once Tanya had whispered her question to them, she sat down. I scooped the stones back into the velvet bag, shook it, and started pulling stones out. "Hmm. Just look at all the reversed stones."

Tanya leaned forward to glare at the stones. "You are doing that on purpose!"

"Think so? I'm not, but I'll tell you what. I'll start over and you can watch me pull them out of the bag."

"Yes," she hissed. "I shall watch you most carefully."

I picked up the couple of stones, tossed them into the bag, shook it again, and pulled out stones one at a time, careful to let her see my fingers as each stone cleared the bag.

Almost all the stones came out reversed. I pursed my lips as I considered the stones laid out in Odin's Nine. "Mmmm. Doesn't look very good, does it? Let's see - the past influences say a cycle has been completed, that relationships you held in the past have come to an end due to neglect and abandonment. Overconfidence and relationship problems have played a major part in forming your present situation."

"Lies! You are lying! You do not see that at all in the stones; you merely say that to try to win the wager!"

"We can have Arielle interpret the stones, too, if you like."

Arielle stood up. Tanya snarled something at her, and she sat right back down.

I looked at Tanya. "Shall I go on?"

"No! You are proving nothing, you are reading nothing! You do not have the power you claim you have. You are manipulating the stones so they say what you want them to say."

I looked over her shoulder to where everyone sat. "Should I finish it or not?"

"Finish it, mon ange," Dominic said as he strolled over to stand next to Tanya. I hoped his presence would have a calming effect on her, although I hadn't noticed it had in the past.

"All right. Influences on the present with regard to your question - a partnership is in the offing, but it will not be what you seek. This stone, Pertho reversed, indicates an ending, so the partnership will bring you only loss, not gain. To avoid this, you should not seek to undertake any new ventures now, especially ones that would put you in a position of any vulnerability."

"This is foolishness! She does not know - "

"Let her finish," Dominic ordered, his hand on her shoulder. From the way Tanya flinched, I gathered his hold on her was not gentle.

"Last bit, then we'll be done. Influences on your future." I studied the three stones indicating the future, puzzled by the combination of stones.

"Well?" Tanya demanded. "What lies do you want to tell me now?"

I touched the stones as I thought out the best way to explain what they said. "This stone, Jera, acts as a caution. It says basically, what goes around, comes around. This stone, Fehu reversed, says you will not have the material gain you expect to have unless you take steps to alter your path. The last stone, Othala reversed, indicates that something rightfully yours will be taken from you. Read together, the runes show a strong warning that you must release the plans you have made, and instead use your natural talents to shape a happier result. If you do not... " I shrugged.

"If I do not, what?" she asked in that sickening sweet voice. I shrugged again. I didn't want to tell her that the combined stones predicted disaster on a catastrophic level if she didn't take her future in her hands and change it.

"The stones say you'll regret following the path you're currently on."

"Bah! You think your threats will make any difference to me? They do not!" She slammed her hand down on the table, scattering the stones. I scooped them up and tucked them safely into the bag. While I didn't necessarily hold with the belief that no one but the reader should touch the stones, the amethyst runes were pretty, and I didn't want to lose one.

"What was her question?" Roxy asked Arielle.

"She asked if she would be successful in ridding herself of a threat to her happiness."

We both looked at Tanya. She smiled at me.

"I did not find your demonstration adequate," she said. "You have lost the wager. You will pay the money you owe and never step foot here again."

"Now, hold on," I said at the same time as Roxy cried, "You big cheater! She did so win the bet," just as Raphael intervened between the two of us.

"Dominic, if you can't control your people better, I'll be happy to give you a few tips on how to keep them quiet." He waited until Tanya snatched her arm from Dominic's grasp and rubbed it up and down vigorously. "Joy won the wager. She proved she could read with a reasonable level of accuracy. End of show. Come along, little troublemaker," he said offering me his hand. "I'd like a word with you in private."

I let my lips curl into a grin at the look in his eye. It was part exasperation, part desire, and part something I couldn't read at all.

"I agree that she won the wager," Dominic said as he moved forward. "But she will come with me. It is I who wishes to have a word with her. In private."

The way he said the last two words made my skin crawl.

"Sorry, Raphael asked first," I said as I took his offered hand. "Even if he didn't, I like him better. Thanks for all the fun, kids. Roxy, don't forget to collect your winnings."

I followed Raphael off the stage, my hand still in his, and down the aisle to the opening of the tent before Tanya exploded. She screamed her fury at Dominic in at least three languages, lunging at him as she yelled obscenities and threats until Dominic pulled back and slapped her. I'm certainly not one of Tanya's biggest fans, but I never think it's right when a guy feels he can slap a woman around. I started back toward Dominic.

"Leave them," Raphael warned in my ear as his fingers tightened around mine.

"He's hitting her," I whispered, tugging to free my hand. "I don't like her, but I'm not going to stand by while he beats her up."

"She was almost hysterical with rage and out of control," Raphael said. "He wasn't really trying to hurt her."

I looked back at them. I had to admit Tanya was over the edge. She was still ranting and raving at Dominic, but other than defending himself from her claws, he wasn't striking her. He did shoot unhappy looks our way as Raphael hustled me out of the tent, but he got full marks for staying to deal with Tanya. Christian and Roxy were close on our heels, followed by the silent but eerie-as-hell Milos.

"Hey, did you notice, no catastrophes!" Roxy called out as Raphael was about to steer me away from the tent. "I guess you'll have to tell Miranda she was wrong about that after all. Of course, most of the stuff you predicted last time didn't happen for a few days, so you know, maybe now would be a good time to take out earthquake insurance."

"Oh, hardy-har-har. Where are you guys going now?" I'd been worried about what to do with Christian. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around the fact that he had an interest in me - not in that way - and I was more than ready to believe that his interest was all a put-on like Dominic's, except there was something stark in his eyes that had a little part of me believing he was sincere. If that was so, I wanted to make it clear to him that we had no future together, but at the same time let him know that I wished him well and wanted him to be happy. I know it sounds trite, but I did truly want to be friends with him.

"We're going to the dungeon room," Roxy said quickly, scooting aside as Milos slipped behind her. She grabbed Christian's arm and sent him an adoring look. "What do you say, Mr. Dante, sir? You up to another romp in the dungeon with me? I might not be the woman over whom you've been glaring at Raphael all night, but I'm not smoked cheese, either."

Christian was watching me with dark, unfathomable eyes. I resisted the urge to look away and raised my chin instead, willing him to understand. He turned to Roxy and laughed despite the sting of her comment. "You are indeed not smoked cheese, although I find you utterly delectable. It would be my pleasure to accompany you to the dungeon room again, but only on two conditions."

"You want me to tie you up and do wicked things to you with my tongue?" she asked hopefully.

He laughed again. "No. You must allow me to show you the dungeons at Drahansk¨¢ Castle - "

"Oooh, real dungeons," squealed Roxy.

" - and it is my turn to control the lash in the punishment booth."

Roxy giggled and tugged him off toward the section of the fair with the weirder offerings. I was thankful he didn't give me another of his martyred looks as he left; I felt bad enough about being the source of unrequited romantic interest.

"I wonder if it's something in the water," I mused as I turned to Raphael, my fingers still entwined with his. "I tell you, I've never had so many guys falling at my feet before. It's heady stuff, this power I have over mere mortal men!"

"How you must suffer," he said, pulling me closer. He didn't have to pull very hard. I disentangled my fingers so I could do what I'd been waiting days to do - run them through his curls.

"So, tell me," I said, leaning into the hard length of his body, "what did you want to see me about? I can only hope you are going to suggest we go somewhere private so I can rip your clothing off and investigate that belly tattoo in detail."

"I have work to do," he replied, his eyes going molten as I slipped a hand under his sweater and stroked his chest. "The crowds are reaching the maximum number we can accommodate, and I have to make sure the crew assigned to crowd control are doing their jobs."

A nipple was the reward for my dedicated exploration. I teased it and gloried in the way his breathing suddenly went erratic. "So many men are not nipple aficionados," I commented, wiggling my hips so I brushed against him in a way I hoped would make him forget about the crowds. "I'm glad to see you are, because I've always thought that it is an extremely erotic spot on a man's body."

He closed his eyes for a moment, a groan slipping out as I licked the corners of his mouth; then suddenly both of his hands were on me. He cupped a hand around the back of my head and pulled it back at the same time as his mouth descended upon mine. He invaded, he dominated, he demanded response and would not settle for anything but utter surrender. I capitulated happily, melting into him and inhaling that wonderful Raphael scent, passion firing deep within me with every stroke of his tongue. I moaned my pleasure and was just about to slide my second hand under his sweater so I could really indulge myself when he broke off the kiss.

"Hey!" I said, extremely unhappy that he stopped.

"Later," he said with a promise in his eyes that made my knees go weak. "I can't do this now, but... later."

"Your place or mine?" I asked, running my finger over the lush curve of his lower lip. So hot were his eyes, I thought his gaze would leave scorch marks where it touched me.

"I honestly don't care as long as you're there naked."

"I like a man who's easily accommodated," I said with a little kiss to the tip of his nose. "Have fun watching the kids play."

He stopped me as I was turning to leave, pulling a key off a key chain and handing it to me. I saluted him with it, gave him a lascivious leer just to let him know he was the sexiest man on the face of the earth, and toddled off to find Roxy and Christian.

Roxy blamed every single disaster of the evening on me, claiming my cataclysient powers were running amok.

"I knew you shouldn't have read those rune stones," she grumbled as she washed her sooty hands in a bucket of water that stood under a spigot. "I knew something like this would happen. I just knew it! You can't keep your catastrophes to yourself! You're not cataclysient, you're a catamaniac!"

"I am not responsible for that fire! And if you recall, you are the one who arranged for me to read the runes. You begged me, you pleaded with me, you bet every cent you had on me, so even if by some weird quirk of fate my reading was responsible for the fire at the Kirlian photo booth, the entire situation would be your fault, not mine."

"Ladies," Christian said with what was becoming a well-known martyred look. "I believe the source of the fire will prove to be the wires connected between the aura camera and the computer. I could not help but notice while we were extinguishing the fire that the wires were charred beyond what they should be in a simple fire."

"There's no such thing as a simple disaster where Joy's concerned," Roxy muttered, taking the towel Christian held out to dry her hands.

"I would be grateful if you would stop implying that everything that goes wrong is my doing," I said through gritted teeth. "I have had no more to do with the fire than the other happenings this evening."

"You punched the lead singer of Six Inches of Slime in the face and broke his nose!"

"I didn't punch him! Not deliberately! I tripped over a power cord and fell onto him. It just so happened that his nose was right where my fist landed. Besides, he deserved it. He was hitting on me and he wouldn't take no for an answer! What was I supposed to do, let him rape me? You know, I'm getting just a little bit tired of every man around here assuming I'm fair game."

"Ha! Talk about conceited! Every man? What, you think you're some sort of sex goddess that no man can resist?"

"Ladies, please - "

I ignored both Christian and Roxy. "And as for breaking that fool's nose, if he hadn't ducked, I would have hit him in the eye instead of the nose, and he could have gone on with his stupid band rather than screaming for a doctor. Who knew he'd be such a big baby over a little blood? I thought Goths were supposed to like blood and pain and suffering! My inadvertent punching him in the nose should have been right up his alley."

"Oh, I see," Roxy said with obnoxious innocence. I ground my teeth even harder. "So it wasn't your fault that the crowds rioted and tore up the main tent when Six Inches didn't go on because their lead singer was having his nose set? And it wasn't your fault that Raphael wasn't here controlling the crowds like he was supposed to be, because he was busy driving your victim to the hospital, thus leaving Dominic in charge - a man who clearly has no idea of how to keep large crowds in control?"

"It's his fair; you'd think he'd take precautions to make sure all those Goths didn't get out of control."

"Joy, Roxanne, I understand you are both angry, but this is not the - "

I finished drying my hands and shoved the towel into Christian's hands. Roxy turned and faced me, her hands on her hips. "He did take precautions; he hired Raphael, who would have been here but for you attacking that poor singer."

"Roxy, I swear, if you tell me one more time that I'm responsible for - "

"Joy!"

"Aren't you supposed to be off looking for my Dark One?" I snapped at Christian. "Aren't you supposed to be watching Milos to see if he's the walking dead?"

"Don't you yell at him," Roxy shouted, throwing herself in front of him and waving her arms in an excited fashion. "He's a famous author! You can't yell at famous authors like that! Besides, he's innocent. He's not the one who - "

"Don't say it," I warned, shaking my finger at her. "Don't you say it! I swear, between the runes and Tanya and Dominic jumping out at me all evening trying to corner me and that little twerp with the glass nose and fighting a fire with fire extinguishers that spray everything but the fire, I'm at my limit!"

"I don't care, you can't yell at Christian!"

"I'll yell at whoever I want to yell at!"

"You want to yell? Good. Yell at her!" Roxy pointed over my shoulder. I turned to see Tanya charging toward me, a look of fury and hatred on her face that was clearly visible from twenty paces.

"Oh, God!" I swore, knowing she was coming to rip a few strips off me, and helpless without Raphael to keep her from going rabid on me.

Christian was at my side in a flash. "I will take care of her," he said in that beautiful voice that was tinged with menace so threatening it sent unpleasant shivers down my back.

"No," I said quietly, trying to slap a smile on my face. I wasn't successful. "It's OK. She's all bark and no bite. She wouldn't dare do anything so foolish as to assault me in front of witnesses. I'm sure she'll throw a curse or two on me, but I can live with that. It won't hurt me to let her vent her spleen if it makes her feel better."

"You!" Tanya growled as she drew close, her eyes black as coal. Unlike earlier in the evening when she was positively frothing at the mouth with anger, now she had the appearance of calm, but it was misleading. There was a curious edginess about her, as if she was filled with tightly coiled energy that threatened to burst open at any moment. "This time you have gone too far. You will be punished, of that I am promising you. There is no escaping your fate."

"I've always believed that the concept of people being helpless against fate was a load of cow cookies," I said mildly. "I prefer to make my own future, thank you."

Tanya's lip twitched. A tremor ran through her. She fisted her hands. "I will not be in the way sorry at all for what is coming you," she ground out.

"Do you know that your English goes to pot the more upset you get?" I asked, my head tipped to the side as I tapped a finger on my lips. "There must be some sort of direct correlation between stress and the language-skills part of your brain."

She leaned forward until she was a scant few inches away from me. The wind carried her long red hair forward until it brushed against me. I stepped back, uncomfortable with any part of her touching me. Her lips curled back into a vicious, gloating smile that made me wonder about her sanity, her voice a rough whisper meant only for my ears. "You will die tonight. I hope your prayers you have said."

"You don't scare me at all, Tanya," I whispered back to her. Christian moved restlessly behind me, but I held out a hand to keep him from interfering. "Do you know, I honestly don't feel anything for you but pity? You're consumed with anger and hatred for me because you think I'm usurping your position, but the truth is, you wouldn't be happy if I left tomorrow. I think you should look within yourself for the answers to what's making you so miserable. As the runes said, blaming others for misfortunes you've brought on yourself is not the way to achieve happiness."

"I will be happy only when you are dead," she promised, this time loud enough for both Roxy and Christian to hear, as well as half a dozen other people near us. Several people turned around at her words, just in time to see her snatch up the bucket of sooty water and throw it at me.

"What the - " I bellowed, stunned by the cold water slamming me full in the face. I looked down at myself to find muddy, sooty water pouring off the front of my jacket, down over my lovely crushed velvet dress, pooling on the matching flats with the freshwater pearl ankle straps.

Tanya was already striding off by the time I finished sputtering enough to call her a few choice swear words. The people standing around us quickly turned away as if embarrassed to have witnessed such a scene. Roxy grabbed my arm and kept me from racing after Tanya and rubbing her face in the mud.

"Geez, you're a mess. Come on, Rocky, we'll get you home and into dry clothes before your next round with the Witch of the Moravian Highlands."

Christian handed me a handkerchief to clean off my face, all the while murmuring softly reassuring things.

"No, thank you," I said, mopping up and trying to brush the worst of the mud off. I smiled at Christian. "I'll have this washed before I return it to you. I think, if you don't mind, I'll go get out of these wet clothes."

"I'll come with you," Roxy selflessly offered. I gave her hand a little squeeze.

"Not necessary. I'm not going back to the hotel just yet. I'll use Raphael's trailer to dry off." I said the words to Roxy, but my eyes were on Christian. He stiffened for a moment, his inscrutable gaze searching my face.

"You sure?" Roxy asked, looking between Christian and me.

I nodded. "I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow morning, OK? Christian, are we on for the tour of your dungeon tomorrow?"

He was silent for a moment, his eyes hooded as if he was unwilling to reveal any of himself; then he made an elegant gesture of capitulation with his hand. "I would be delighted. I have some business to attend to in the morning, but if you are free in the afternoon, I would be happy to show you around the castle."

"Great," I smiled, giving Roxy a glance warning her to behave herself. "Then I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for all your help. I really appreciate it." Just for the hell of it I kissed him on his cheek. His hands clutched my arms for a moment before releasing me.

I started off in the direction of Raphael's trailer, skinnying in and out of the thickening crowds.

"Joy!" I turned when Roxy called my name.

She hurried up to me, glared at a couple of mohawked teens who were staring open-mouthed at my soaked self until they turned away, and hissed, "You're OK for this evening, right?"

OK? Huh? "What?"

She pulled me out of the stream of traffic and started rooting through her purse. "This evening. Later. You and Raphael. Here, take these."

She shoved a handful of condoms in my hand.

"Roxy!" I said, shocked. "What are you doing with condoms? I thought you were saving yourself for Mr. Right?"

"Duh! Miranda said I'd be meeting him within a month, so I brought them with me just in case. But I haven't seen anyone here who's even remotely right, except Christian, and he has the hots for you."

"He doesn't have the hots for me, he's just one of those men who thinks he wants something someone else has. He's not serious."

"Mmm. Reserving judgment on that. Here - " She snatched the condoms from my hand and stuffed them in my purse. "Use them with my blessing."

I ignored her suggestive leer and headed back out into the crowd, feeling an awful lot like a salmon swimming upstream as I walked away from the fair to the line of trailers that ran in a curve around the far end of the meadow.

I figured Raphael wouldn't mind if I used his digs to dry off. He had given me his key; clearly he expected to find me in his trailer when his job was done. I'd much rather wait for him there than in my small hotel room, or wandering around the fair where I could run into Tanya again. Not to mention Dominic and his octopus hands. Or the ¨¹ber-creepy Milos.

A half hour later I was sitting in Raphael's trailer warm and dry in one of his sweatshirts. My dress hung over the chair, toweled clean as best I could get it. My coat was hanging over a stack of newspapers. My underwear was tucked discreetly into my bag. I had debated the "undies on/undies off" dilemma, finally deciding that although undies off might lead Raphael to believe I was the sort of loose woman who was anticipating the type of action that underwear would inhibit, it was better than lounging around in wet, soggy underwear - or worse, having him discover wet, soggy underwear on me! Gross!

That serious issue resolved, I curled up with a blanket and a book on Raphael's bed, resisting the urge to search through his belongings to see what I could find out about him. Part of the spice to our whole relationship - what there was of it so far - was the sense of mystery that wrapped around him. I was greatly looking forward to uncovering all the many interesting bits and pieces that added up to an extremely snacky man.

That thought reminded me of the condoms Roxy had shoved into my purse. Although I was sure Raphael would be equipped with his own supply, there was no sense in taking chances. I glanced around to see where I could stash a condom, hidden from view just in case things didn't turn out as I hoped they would, and yet handy if it did.

"Pillow!" I said brightly, turning around to put a condom under one of the pillows on his bed. My hand paused over the nearest, then carefully edged my hand back.

There was no gun under the pillow.

"Hmmm." I looked under the other pillow. It, too, was gun-free. I placed the condom under it and leaned back, pulling my knees up so I could rest my chin on them while I thought.

I had felt his chest, had leaned up close against him, and he didn't have a gun strapped under his armpit, so where was it? I looked through the open door down the length of the trailer, wondering if he had hidden it somewhere here, or if he had moved it elsewhere.

"And come to think of it, why does he have a gun in the first place?" My voice was harsh as it echoed around the room, an intruder in a private little sanctuary. I scooted beneath the blankets, taking my book with me, and buried my face in his pillow as I gave myself up to the wonderful Raphael scent that never failed to make me go all girly inside.

It started the same way it had before.

Beloved, the voice echoed through my head. I fought to wake up, fought to shed the silken bonds that held me down into sleep and kept me from awareness. Once again my body seemed to be a heavy, alien thing that didn't answer my demands.

Beloved, do not fight me. He was touching me, stroking my body even though I knew he wasn't physically present. How could I fight a man whose very thoughts felt like the lightest of touches on my skin? I moaned deep in my throat as I struggled to escape the whispered strokes of his fingers. It was wrong, my mind shrieked at me. Every touch of his mind to mine was wrong! I had to make him understand that what he wanted was not mine to give.

I could never hurt you. You are my Beloved. You must not deny your fate any longer.

No, I screamed inside my head. He was coming closer to me, I could feel him moving through the night, graceful, powerful, a timeless hunter filled with the fury of eternal torment, calling through the night to the one person he believed could save him. Me.

I am not she, I pleaded with him. I do not belong to you. It is wrong. We will both suffer if you do not stop now.

I could never hurt you, Beloved.

I sobbed Raphael's name, struggling to break free of the Dark One's power, desperate to escape and regain control of my own body. My skin crawled with the thought of what would happen once he arrived. I would be damned as he was - I knew that as surely as I knew the sun rose each morning to banish the terrors of the night.

"You are more beautiful than any woman I have seen." Heat covered me, filled me, kindling desire within me, within him.

Beloved.

Raphael! I answered, fighting with every ounce of strength I had left.

A warmth, a presence I hadn't felt in the vision of the other night surrounded me. "You smell like flowers, but you taste of heaven." Flames licked up my back, burning my neck, lighting me on fire. I struggled to escape the flames, but the Dark One's hold on me was too great.

"I've thought about you all evening, thought about this. You were never once from my mind. You were meant for me. Every inch of you is perfect, perfectly made for me. You are mine."

He was coming closer. He was almost upon me.

We will be together forever, Beloved.

Nooooo!

"Say it. Say the words. I want to hear them." The fire consumed the front of me, burning down past flesh and muscle and bone, boiling my blood away until there was nothing left of the essence of me. What was left was love.

"Raphael!"

"Mmm. I thought you'd never wake up."

I opened my eyes. Raphael's amber gaze burned into me seconds before his mouth claimed mine. I gave myself to him, gave him everything there was of me and accepted him in return.

A soulless howl of agony rent the fabric of the night, bringing tears to my eyes even as I understood that there was nothing I could do for the Dark One.

"Joy?"

I opened my eyes again and smiled at the concern in Raphael's beautiful eyes. "Hello, Bob."

"You went stiff for a moment."

I allowed my smile to go naughty and rubbed up against him. "I'm not the only thing that's stiff."

"Cheeky," he grinned, dipping his head down for another taste of my lips. The feel of his warm skin touching mine, the taste of him, of his body pressing mine down into the mattress, reaffirmed the knowledge that this was right, that this was meant to be. His presence banished the nightmare that almost was. A tiny spark of guilt flared to life with the thought that I should not be celebrating life with Raphael while another was suffering, but the honest part of my mind stomped out the guilt with the acceptance that some things were beyond my control.

I sucked on Raphael's tongue as he checked my teeth, sliding my hands down the muscles of his shoulders to his back.

"You're naked," I said, pausing in our kiss to breathe.

He leaned back and looked down at me, trailing a finger across my collarbone, down the middle of my breastbone, still farther down to my belly, ending with a tickle at the gates of my own personal paradise. "Ah, baby, so are you."

I melted into one big puddle of goo. Baby. It wasn't the word, it was the way he said it.

"I was waiting for you. Somehow I thought you would prefer me dressed this way."

He leaned forward to nuzzle his cheek across my breast. The barest hint of stubble added a dimension of tingle that I hadn't felt before. I sucked in a delighted gulp of air.

"You are positively psychic."

"And you're only just discovering this?" I laughed, my laughter turning to a gasp as his mouth closed over my nipple. "OK, I like that," I admitted, wondering why my voice was an octave higher than normal.

Raphael laved my breast with long strokes of his tongue before he released it. "So do I," he growled, his voice deepening as he bent over my other breast. "Fancy that, a spare."

"Yes," I gasped, trying to get some air into my lungs. It was impossible to breathe while his mouth was on my flesh, so I gave up the notion and just concentrated on what he was doing. "I keep it there for emergencies. You never know when you'll need a spare breast, my mother always said. And she was right. I'm extremely happy at this moment that I had the foresight to bring my spare along with me on this trip."

"And it's in such delicious condition," Raphael said just before his teeth closed gently over my nipple. I purred and arched my back so he could feast on more of it. "Round and firm and fully packed."

"You watch... too much... television," I panted as he kissed a hot trail across my belly. I had an idea where he was headed, and although I enjoyed the little nips and kisses he was delivering along the way, I figured I'd better stop him before he went too far. "Um, Raphael? You're not going to... you don't plan to... urn... you know, tongue tango down there, do you?"

He bit my hip, kissing the sting away as he parted my hesitant legs and settled between them. "I certainly am. I take it you don't have any objections?"

His dark head bent down to kiss a hot line up my thigh.

"Well, actually, I do."

He looked up. "You do?"

"Yes," I nodded. "It's nothing personal, but I don't like it. So if we could just skip the appetizer and get on with the main course, that would be fine with me." I reached under the pillow and pulled out the little plastic package. "I brought my own in case you didn't have any."

He frowned at the condom I handed him, then gave it back to me. "What do you mean, you don't like it?"

I made an indefinable shrugging gesture with the condom. "I don't like it, that's what I mean. I've tried it, and I don't like it, and since it can't be all that scenic for you down there, I'm sure you won't mind if we just skip it."

He shook his head, his curls brushing my thighs in a way that made them feel as if they'd been licked by flames. "I do mind. I don't understand how you can say you don't like it when you haven't tried it."

I frowned at him. "I have tried it!"

"Not with me!"

"Well, I don't have to, do I? I mean, it's pretty much the same with anyone, isn't it?"

Now he was frowning. "No, it isn't. I happen to be pretty good at this, or so I'm told, so if you'll just stop telling me you won't like it and let me do my job, you'll see for yourself."

I took a deep breath. "Look, do you think you could come up here to discuss this? I feel like I'm talking to my gynecologist with you down there face to face with all my feminine parts. I mean, that's not the very most attractive location on my body, and I'd really rather you not sit there and stare at that part of me."

He looked at the parts in question. I grabbed his head and pulled it up. "Don't LOOK at me there! I just told you not to look there, and now you are!"

He cocked one eyebrow at me and gently disengaged my hands from his head. "I've never before met a woman who had an inferiority complex about her genitals."

"I don't have an inferiority complex," I snapped, fast losing my temper with his insistence to stare at my crotch. He was doing it now, he was eyeing me like he expected Bugs Bunny to pop out and start dancing. "I just don't like people setting up camp at my crotch and admiring the view, OK?"

"Joy."

"What?"

"Lie back and close your eyes."

"No."

"Yes."

"I don't trust you. You'll just take advantage of me and look."

"I'll close my eyes too."

"Promise?"

He sighed, his breath gusting warmly on all of those delightful tingly albeit unscenic parts. "Yes, I promise. Now do as I say. I won't do anything you don't like, all right?"

"I'll hold you to that," I warned, lying down again, tense as a nun in a whorehouse.

He didn't answer me, he just rubbed his cheeks on the inside of my thighs. Just as it did on my breasts, the abrasion was just rough enough to make my skin tingle.

"Do you like the feel of that?" he asked.

"Yes. Do you have your eyes closed?"

"Yes." He rubbed his cheek against my thigh again before kissing a serpentine path upward. "I like it as well. You taste sweet, and your skin is so soft, it's like satin." He kissed the other side, licking and nibbling a path northward. My legs tensed up the closer he came to home base. "Relax, baby. You'll like this, I promise. You're so hot, I know you must be burning up inside."

I clutched large quantities of the blankets as he eased a finger inside me.

"You are hot. You're hot and silky and almost ready for me."

"Are you going to narrate this whole thing?" I asked, peering down over my belly at him. "Must we have the annotated version of oral sex?"

He grinned as he placed a kiss very carefully on the exact center of me. "I thought it might be more reassuring for you if you knew how much I was enjoying it, too."

"Oh. OK. That's fine. I was just checking in case there was going to be a quiz later."

He grinned again, his finger withdrawing, only to return with a buddy.

"Oh, my," I gasped, wondering how long a person could go without breathing. The feeling of his fingers stroking me, stretching me, was something I'd never felt before. It was warm and intimate and, coupled with the little kisses he was now pressing upon a very sensitive spot, thoroughly enjoyable.

"Like that, do you?" His fingers slid slowly out, then thrust back in fast. I arched up and came damn close to bursting into the national anthem.

"Ah, baby, we're only getting started. We have so much more to try. Let's see how you like this... "

His head dipped down until he was pressed against the very heat of me, his tongue replacing his fingers as he stroked and teased and sucked the layers of skin aside until he reached the hot spot. "You taste like heaven," he moaned into me, his fingers sliding in and out with an increasing rhythm. His tongue matched the rhythm, making my whole body throb in time to it as he picked up the pace faster and faster, spinning me higher and higher until I was sure there was nowhere else to go, but there was, and he took me there.

"That's it, baby, let yourself go. I'm right here with you."

And he was, too. He was in my heart and my soul, in my blood, in every breath I took, in every thought and every desire. An orgasm so strong it shook me to my core swept through me, starbursts of ecstasy bursting behind my eyelids as I arched up and called his name to the heavens.

When I came back to earth, five or six hours later by my best estimate, he was propped up between my legs with an extremely smug, extremely male smile on his face. One eyebrow rose. "So, you didn't care for that, I take it?"

"You," I told him as he crawled up my body and stretched out next to me, "are going to suffer for that comment."

"Is that a promise or a threat?" he asked.

"Both," I told him as I pushed him onto his back and leaned over to kiss him. "Hmmm. Different."

"I like the way you taste," he grinned. "You're hot and sweet and better than an all-day lolly."

I bit the tip of his nose, my hand skimming down the planes of his chest. "I'm sure I will be able to return the compliment."

"I hope you will, but I don't think I can wait for that now." He reached over to the built-in nightstand and tugged open the drawer, pulling out a blue box.

"My treat," I told him, retrieving the condom from where it had slipped under his hip. I gave him a little love bite similar to the one he'd given me, then scooted over and gave in to the desire that had plagued me ever since I saw him naked.

"Tattoooooo," I cooed, licking it. His belly contracted. I smiled one of my special wicked smiles, and lowered my head to suck his sunburst, reveling in the way his breathing quickened as my hair brushed against his erection.

And boy, was it erect. It banged me on the ear. I stopped sucking his tattoo and gave it a good, long, critical look. Up close and personal, so to speak.

"Um," I said.

"Here," he nudged my shoulder with the box. "Would you care to do the honors, or would you prefer I do it?"

I continued my visual exploration. "Um."

"Baby, much as it turns me on to have you staring at me like that, I'm fast approaching the bursting point, and it's starting to get painful."

I gave him one last look, then started to open my condom. "Sorry. I'll just put this on and you can dive right in." I glanced back over at the part in question. "That's assuming you'll fit."

"Joy, use these. Your condom will break if we try to use it."

"Huh?" I read the box that was shoved under my nose. "L'homme Grande: for the gentleman who requires extra personal space." I looked back at his penis, trying to measure it with my eyes. "You know, I think maybe we need to talk about this a bit. You seem to be bigger than any other guys I've been with. A lot bigger. I know I said bigger is better, but there is a limit to everything. You don't happen to have a ruler handy, do you?"

Raphael groaned and swore, his eyes tightly shut. "Joy, please, just put the condom on, or let me do it. I honestly don't think I can take much more of this."

I pulled one of his condoms out and tore open the package, then started to unroll it on him. It unrolled and unrolled and unrolled. With each roll of the condom I got more and more worried. Raphael twitched and groaned and muttered prayers to please allow him to survive the experience.

"There, it's on," I said finally. Raphael took a deep breath, then with one smooth move, flipped me over and settled between my legs, propping himself up on his elbows long enough to kiss my wits away.

"Wait a minute!" I yelled as I felt the tip of him start to push into me.

"Now? You want me to wait now?" he asked, a touch desperately, I thought.

"Yes, now. There's something I want to say."

"It couldn't wait?" He nudged a bit more into me. "Can't you save it for later? I'd be happy to hear you then. You can tell me anything you want then."

"No! Now!" I squirmed slightly. "You're too big! I'm sorry, Raphael, I hate to do this to you since you're all dressed up and everything, but you're just too big. You have to trust me on this, I know my body, and it's not going to be able to - "

With a groan that sounded like it came straight from his soul, he slid into me.

"Holy Mary and all the saints," I squeaked as he withdrew slightly, then surged forward.

"Ah, baby, you're so tight. So hot and tight."

"Aaaaiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!" I sang as he sank in even more. His lips teased mine until I Jet him into my mouth, my hips thrusting up to meet his as he pushed in deeper. "Dear God, is that all of you?"

"Just a little more," he groaned, his breath hot and ragged on my lips as he nipped and teased; then he grabbed both my hips, his tongue sweeping into my mouth as he rammed forward, filling me, completing me, merging our bodies together until we were one entity.

"Baby, I can't last much longer," Raphael moaned into my mouth. "Tell me you're with me. Tell me you're almost there. Ah, Christ, you're so damned tight!"

"Now, love, now." I bit his shoulder and rocked my hips forward and he slammed into me, groaning with each forward thrust. I wrapped my legs around his hips and dragged my fingernails down his back, nipping his neck where his pulse pounded madly. "Come with me now, my love."

He arched back, his fingers digging into my hips as he pulled me upward, slamming into me again and again until I was sure I was going to black out with the wonder of our joined bodies. His head snapped back as he throbbed and pulsated his heat deep into me, his cry of conquest roared to the heavens where it mingled with my sobs of pleasure.

He collapsed onto me, both of us covered in sweat, gasping for air, our hearts beating wildly. This was the man I'd been waiting for, I thought as I pressed gentle kisses into his dark curls. I was made for him as surely as he was made for me. There could be no doubt about that. I stroked his damp back, savoring the feel of my body cushioning his. We fit together so perfectly, it was as if we were two halves of a whole.

"Am I crushing you?" he asked after a little bit, his voice muffled since he spoke into my shoulder.

"Yes," I said, stroking the wonderful curves of his behind. "But it's a good kind of crushing. I like it. I like our bodies squished together like this. It's a good thing I'm so big, though. I think you'd flatten someone tiny like Roxy."

"Let me know when I become too heavy for you," he said indistinctly. "I don't think I have the strength to move, although I do have one question."

"Mmm?" I asked, kissing his salty shoulder.

He propped himself up on one elbow and grinned a slow, lazy grin. "What was it you wanted to say about me being too big?"

"You big oaf," I said in mock anger, and pushed him backward. He moaned as he slid out of me, rolling onto his back, pulling me along with him until I was nestled up against his side. I tickled his belly tattoo, giggling when I made him growl at my touch. He kissed me back into submission, leaving me momentarily while he sat up to peel the condom off.

"Damn," he said, the word enough to make me stop rubbing my legs against his.

"What's wrong?" I sat up to look. He turned to me with a face full of consternation, embarrassment, and just a tinge of "what now?"

"I blew out the end of the condom."

I blinked. "I guess this'll teach me to be careful what I wish for."