A Damsel in Distress

"Have some more cake, Albert," he said ingratiatingly.

The boy shook his head.

"Do," urged George. "Just a little slice."

"There ain't no little slice," replied Albert with regret.

"I've ate it all." He sighed and resumed. "I gotta scheme!"

"Fine! What is it?"

Albert knitted his brows.

"It's like this. You want to see 'er lidyship, but you can't come

to the castle, and she can't come to you--not with 'er fat brother

dogging of 'er footsteps. That's it, ain't it? Or am I a liar?"

George hastened to reassure him.

"That is exactly it. What's the answer?"

"I'll tell yer wot you can do. There's the big ball tonight 'cos of

its bein' 'Is Nibs' comin'-of-age tomorrow. All the county'll be

'ere."

"You think I could slip in and be taken for a guest?"

Albert snorted contempt.

"No, I don't think nothin' of the kind, not bein' a fat-head."

George apologized. "But wot you could do's this. I 'eard Keggs

torkin to the 'ouse-keeper about 'avin' to get in a lot of temp'y

waiters to 'elp out for the night--"

George reached forward and patted Albert on the head.

"Don't mess my 'air, now," warned that youth coldly.

"Albert, you're one of the great thinkers of the age. I could get

into the castle as a waiter, and you could tell Lady Maud I was

there, and we could arrange a meeting. Machiavelli couldn't have

thought of anything smoother."

"Mac Who?"

"One of your ancestors. Great schemer in his day. But, one moment."

"Now what?"

"How am I to get engaged? How do I get the job?"

"That's orl right. I'll tell the 'ousekeeper you're my cousin--

been a waiter in America at the best restaurongs--'ome for a

'oliday, but'll come in for one night to oblige. They'll pay yer a

quid."

"I'll hand it over to you."

"Just," said Albert approvingly, "wot I was goin' to suggest

myself."

"Then I'll leave all the arrangements to you."

"You'd better, if you don't want to mike a mess of everything. All

you've got to do is to come to the servants' entrance at eight

sharp tonight and say you're my cousin."

"That's an awful thing to ask anyone to say."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing!" said George.