A Damsel in Distress

Speculations became audible.

"Wot is it? 'Naccident?"

"Nah! Gent 'ad 'is pocket picked!"

"Two toffs 'ad a scrap!"

"Feller bilked the cabman!"

A sceptic made a cynical suggestion.

"They're doin' of it for the pictures."

The idea gained instant popularity.

"Jear that? It's a fillum!"

"Wot o', Charlie!"

"The kemerer's 'idden in the keb."

"Wot'll they be up to next!"

A red-nosed spectator with a tray of collar-studs harnessed to his

stomach started another school of thought. He spoke with decision

as one having authority.

"Nothin' of the blinkin' kind! The fat 'un's bin 'avin' one or two

around the corner, and it's gorn and got into 'is 'ead!"

The driver of the cab, who till now had been ostentatiously unaware

that there was any sort of disturbance among the lower orders,

suddenly became humanly inquisitive.

"What's it all about?" he asked, swinging around and addressing

George's head.

"Exactly what I want to know," said George. He indicated the

collar-stud merchant. "The gentleman over there with the portable

Woolworth-bargain-counter seems to me to have the best theory."

The stout young man, whose peculiar behaviour had drawn all this

flattering attention from the many-headed and who appeared

considerably ruffled by the publicity, had been puffing noisily

during the foregoing conversation. Now, having recovered sufficient

breath to resume the attack, he addressed himself to George once

more.

"Damn you, sir, will you let me look inside that cab?"

"Leave me," said George, "I would be alone."

"There is a young lady in that cab. I saw her get in, and I have

been watching ever since, and she has not got out, so she is there

now."

George nodded approval of this close reasoning.

"Your argument seems to be without a flaw. But what then? We

applaud the Man of Logic, but what of the Man of Action? What are

you going to do about it?"

"Get out of my way!"

"I won't."

"Then I'll force my way in!"

"If you try it, I shall infallibly bust you one on the jaw."

The stout young man drew back a pace.

"You can't do that sort of thing, you know."

"I know I can't," said George, "but I shall. In this life, my dear

sir, we must be prepared for every emergency. We must distinguish

between the unusual and the impossible. It would be unusual for a

comparative stranger to lean out of a cab window and sock you one,

but you appear to have laid your plans on the assumption that it

would be impossible. Let this be a lesson to you!"

"I tell you what it is--"

"The advice I give to every young man starting life is 'Never

confuse the unusual with the impossible!' Take the present case,

for instance. If you had only realized the possibility of somebody

some day busting you on the jaw when you tried to get into a cab,

you might have thought out dozens of crafty schemes for dealing

with the matter. As it is, you are unprepared. The thing comes on

you as a surprise. The whisper flies around the clubs: 'Poor old

What's-his-name has been taken unawares. He cannot cope with the

situation!'"