A Damsel in Distress

"Not at all. Be perfectly frank and straightforward. Say you are

sorry to go against her wishes--"

"Wishes," murmured Reggie, scribbling industrially on the back of

the marriage licence.

"--But you know that all she wants is your happiness--"

Reggie looked doubtful.

"I'm not sure about that last bit, old thing. You don't know the

mater!"

"Never mind, Reggie," put in Alice. "Say it, anyhow. Mr. Bevan is

perfectly right."

"Right ho, darling! All right, laddie--'happiness'. And then?"

"Point out in a few well-chosen sentences how charming Mrs. Byng

is . . ."

"Mrs. Byng!" Reggie smiled fatuously. "I don't think I ever heard

anything that sounded so indescribably ripping. That part'll be

easy enough. Besides, the mater knows Alice."

"Lady Caroline has seen me at the castle," said his bride

doubtfully, "but I shouldn't say she knows me. She has hardly

spoken a dozen words to me."

"There," said Reggie, earnestly, "you're in luck, dear heart! The

mater's a great speaker, especially in moments of excitement. I'm

not looking forward to the time when she starts on me. Between

ourselves, laddie, and meaning no disrespect to the dear soul, when

the mater is moved and begins to talk, she uses up most of the

language."

"Outspoken, is she?"

"I should hate to meet the person who could out-speak her," said

Reggie.

George sought information on a delicate point.

"And financially? Does she exercise any authority over you in that

way?"

"You mean has the mater the first call on the family doubloons?"

said Reggie. "Oh, absolutely not! You see, when I call her the

mater, it's using the word in a loose sense, so to speak. She's my

step-mother really. She has her own little collection of pieces of

eight, and I have mine. That part's simple enough."

"Then the whole thing is simple. I don't see what you've been

worrying about."

"Just what I keep telling him, Mr. Bevan," said Alice.

"You're a perfectly free agent. She has no hold on you of any

kind."

Reggie Byng blinked dizzily.

"Why, now you put it like that," he exclaimed, "I can see that I

jolly well am! It's an amazing thing, you know, habit and all that.

I've been so accustomed for years to jumping through hoops and

shamming dead when the mater lifted a little finger, that it

absolutely never occurred to me that I had a soul of my own. I give

you my honest word I never saw it till this moment."

"And now it's too late!"

"Eh?"

George indicated Alice with a gesture. The newly-made Mrs. Byng

smiled.

"Mr. Bevan means that now you've got to jump through hoops and sham

dead when I lift a little finger!"