A Beautiful Funeral

“What do you think’s going on?” Tyler asked me. He kept his voice low.

I shook my head. “I don’t know. Sounds like Tommy wasn’t the only target.”

“Like they’re after the family? Why?”

I shrugged. “Could be a million reasons.”

Tyler frowned. “You have a better imagination than I do. I can’t think of one.”

“Dad was an investigator. Abby’s dad is a gambler. Remember when Trex came to question us about Travis and the fire? Everyone has an enemy. Maybe Travis or Abby inadvertently made the wrong one. Wasn’t she raised around mobsters in Vegas?”

Tyler didn’t respond, but I could tell his thoughts were spinning.

“Abby was raised around mobsters?” Ellie asked.

“Sort of,” Falyn said. “They don’t really talk about it. She was born in Vegas. Her dad was a fairly famous poker player. Then he started losing, but he didn’t stop gambling. He lost everything and got in pretty deep with some loan sharks. Abby had to go to Vegas just before she and Travis got married to bail him out. They were going to kill him.”

“Whoa,” Ellie said. “But she’s really good at poker, right? She went there to win the money?”

Falyn nodded. “She won most of it.”

“How did they get the rest of it?” Ellie asked.

Falyn made a face, drifting off into thought. “I’m not really sure. Do you know?” she asked me.

I shook my head. “They’ve never really said.”

“You’ve never asked?” Ellie said.

Tyler shook his head. “I figured if they wanted me to know, they’d tell me.”

We arrived at baggage claim, looking at the screens.

“Thirteen,” Falyn said, dragging Hadley by the hand.

“Hold on,” Tyler said, trying to get a handle on their roller bags.

“I can help,” a woman said with a smile. She was wearing dark slacks, a button-down shirt and a dark blazer, her sunglasses hanging from where the top button of her blouse was undone. She flashed her credentials that were clipped inside of her blazer and then tucked them away.

My stomach felt sick, and I looked back at Falyn, who was watching Alyssa Davies’s eyes turned soft when she looked down at Hollis.

“Cute kid,” Alyssa said. “I’ll be driving you to the Eakins hospital.”

Taylor and Ellie were unfazed, but Falyn looked at me, confused and angry. Alyssa was the woman I’d taken home from the bar during the week Falyn and I had broken up. Falyn needed space, so I left for California to visit my brother Thomas in San Diego. He’d taken me to a local bar to cry in my beer, and I met Alyssa, Thomas’s colleague. A few weeks later, Alyssa ended up pregnant and gave me the opportunity to take full custody before opting for an abortion. She carried Hollis to term, and Falyn and I stood outside the hallway of a San Diego hospital while she labored and gave birth. The nurses handed my son to me, and Alyssa returned to her life without looking back.

“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up my hands. “You’re FBI?”

“I am,” Alyssa said. “I realize this is somewhat awkward ...”

“Somewhat awkward?” Falyn repeated.

“But you’re in advertising. With Thomas,” I said, bewildered.

Alyssa sighed. “You’re my assignment. I’m all you’ve got. If you ask me, I’m the best one for the job since I have slightly more invested in getting you from A to B in one piece than any other agent, and … I’m a badass.”

Hollis smiled. Falyn pulled him against her front with her free hand, hanging on tightly to Hadley with the other. Alyssa—or Agent Davies—represented more of a threat to our family than our failing marriage did.

“Can we see those credentials again?” Falyn asked.

Alyssa pulled her ID until it unclipped from her pocket and handed it to Falyn. “Look it over, but please be quick. We don’t want to stay in one place too long.”

Falyn studied the ID, and then handed it to me, glaring at Alyssa. “Do you even work with Thomas?”

“Yes,” she said simply.

“So you’re in advertising too?” I asked, handing her ID to Tyler.

“No, Thomas is FBI,” Ellie said, realizing the truth as she said the words. “And you…” she trailed off, looking at Falyn with sympathetic eyes.

Everything clicked, and all at once, every lie Thomas had ever told me boiled in my blood.

Tyler offered the ID to Ellie, but she declined. “We should go. This is awkward as fuck,” he said.

We followed a diligent Alyssa to a black van with dark windows. Tyler climbed into the back with Ellie. There was already a car seat ready for Gavin. As Tyler and Ellie struggled to strap in their unconscious toddler, Alyssa buckled in and checked all of her mirrors, radioing in to someone that we were all accounted for and en route.

“Falyn,” I said, reaching for her hand. She yanked it away, and I clenched my teeth. “How in Christ’s name is this my fault?”

“Shut up,” she hissed. From hairline to neckline, red splotches began to form. Her eyes watered like they always did when she was embarrassed.

Alyssa wasn’t paying attention to our spat, but she did look in the rearview mirror at Hollis more than once. I was waiting for Falyn to catch her and say something, but when their eyes met, Falyn took the high road.

Hollis, to my surprise, rested his head against Falyn’s shoulder. She put her arm around him, and both of them seemed to relax. Falyn ran her fingers through his hair, softly singing the same tune she’d sang to him the night we brought him home. Alyssa watched with curious eyes, without judgment or jealousy, like she was observing the passing cars.

Hollis had no clue he’d just made my life a lot easier and his mom more at ease. Falyn leaned down to kiss his forehead and then looked out the window, still humming.

I rested my arm at the top of the bench seat, turning around to face my brother. He and Ellie were both staring at me, and Gavin was still sleeping, his head propped against the side of the car seat with his mouth gaping open. Ellie offered an encouraging smile. We’d spent long nights talking after Falyn left. Ellie had been to therapy enough for all of us, and I’d benefitted from it. I’d told her more than once that her advice and friendship kept me going.

Ellie reached up and placed her hand on my elbow, and I nodded to her in appreciation. It was nice to know she understood what a tense situation Falyn and I were in, and that she was right there with me.

I tapped Falyn gently with my finger, and she instantly tensed. She didn’t turn to me, so I accepted that she wasn’t going to speak to me as long as Alyssa was in the car. “I love you,” I said, running my thumb along the skin between her shoulder and neck. She didn’t shrug me off, which was the first surprise, but then she turned to me and smiled. I figured I’d say it again, hoping to get an even better reaction. “No matter what. I love you.”

A tear welled up in Falyn’s eye and spilled over onto her freckled cheek. I used my thumb to wipe it away and then held my palm against her face. She leaned into it, and my heart burst in my chest.

Thank you, she mouthed.

So that was it. She just needed Alyssa to know where she stood. Actions, not words. It made sense now why she wanted nothing to do with a quiet attempt to hold her hand. She needed a show. Women were exhausting. Ellie had tried to explain to me the logic for leaving and staying gone. It had made more sense to me to work things out together, but Ellie had assured me that it was better to try to gain some insight on the whys rather than to let my frustration lead to anger. Falyn’s reasons were always far deeper than I could understand, and sometimes deeper than she would admit. Things like needing control or leaving before she was left. Shame. Guilt. Or even worse—apathy. My brothers all seemed to get their wives better than I did, but Falyn kept me in the dark most of the time.